Ring Bearer: Boys Only?

While the role of ring bearer is traditionally given to a boy, it does not have to be. The role can be performed by anyone, including girls, non-binary people, and even pets. The most important thing is that the couple loves and trusts the person or animal they choose to be their ring bearer.

Who can be a ring bearer?

The ring bearer is a wedding party role traditionally given to young boys who are family members or children of the wedding party. However, this role is not limited to boys, and anyone can be a ring bearer, including girls, non-binary individuals, and even pets!

Age Range

The typical age range for a ring bearer is between 2 to 12 years old. Within this range, children are generally considered mature enough to handle the responsibilities of the role while still being young enough to add a layer of cuteness to the wedding ceremony.

Choosing a Ring Bearer

When selecting a ring bearer, it is common to choose a young family member, such as the nephew of the bride, godchild of the groom, younger siblings, or children of the maid of honour, best man, or other close friends. It is also becoming a recent trend to have an adult friend or family member, such as grandparents, fill this role.

Number of Ring Bearers

There is no limit to the number of ring bearers you can have, and it is not uncommon to have multiple ring bearers. However, it is recommended to keep the number to a maximum of three to ensure each ring bearer feels like an essential part of the ceremony.

Responsibilities

The ring bearer is responsible for escorting the couple's wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony, usually carrying the rings on a pillow. This role adds a charming and traditional touch to the wedding and is a great way to include young family members or children close to the couple.

What does a ring bearer do?

A ring bearer is a wedding party role that is typically given to young children. They are responsible for carrying the couple's wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. The ring bearer usually precedes the bride down the aisle, often walking at the same time as the flower girl, and gives the rings to the wedding officiant or best man once they reach the altar.

The ring bearer is usually a boy, but this role can also be performed by a girl, an adult, or even a well-behaved pet. The ring bearer is often a young family member or the child of a close friend. They are usually between the ages of 2 and 10 years old, with the most common age range being between 3 and 8 years old. This ensures the child is mature enough to handle the responsibility and adds to the "cute factor".

The ring bearer typically carries the rings on a ring bearer pillow, but this is not required. Couples may choose to secure the rings to a ribbon tied around a poem or scripture, place them in a bouquet, or even have them carried in a briefcase. As an extra precaution, the ring bearer often carries fake rings, while the best man carries the real rings.

In addition to carrying the rings, the ring bearer may also be included in other wedding activities such as the rehearsal dinner and the reception. If the reception is adults-only, it is considerate to offer to cover the cost of a babysitter for the ring bearer. The ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for their outfit and accessories, but the couple may choose to purchase their attire as a gift. It is common to give the ring bearer a small gift as a token of appreciation for their participation in the wedding.

What should a ring bearer wear?

When deciding what the ring bearer should wear, it is important to keep in mind the formality of the wedding, the season, and the location. If the wedding is more formal, such as a classic or traditional theme, a ring bearer suit is a popular choice. This can include a dress shirt, jacket, and necktie or bow tie. If the wedding is outdoors and you prefer a no-jacket look, the ring bearer can wear dress pants with suspenders and a bow tie or a vest with a bow tie and a coordinating hat. For a beach wedding or other less formal wedding, the ring bearer can wear more casual attire such as a linen shirt, lightweight jacket, bow tie, suspenders, and shorts (weather permitting). If the wedding is in the summer or in a warm-weather climate, the ring bearer can wear shorts with suspenders and a matching bow tie. For a fall wedding, consider an autumnal, burgundy velvet suit.

There are several approaches to dressing the ring bearer. One common method is to dress the ring bearer in the same suit or tuxedo as the groom, allowing him to stand out from the groomsmen while still coordinating with the groom. Another option is to dress the ring bearer in the same tuxedo or suit and accessories as the groomsmen, so he feels like "one of the guys." If the wedding party is wearing suits and ties or tuxedos, the ring bearer should coordinate with them. If the wedding is outdoors and rustic, consider dressing the ring bearer in an old wood wagon dressed up with greenery.

It is important to note that not all designers make suits and tuxedos in children's sizes, so it is recommended to ask the retailer before ordering. Most tuxedo and suit rental sizes start at a 3-year-old size, but there are options for younger children, such as just wearing pants, a shirt, a bow tie, suspenders, and little shoes, or purchasing a toddler's tuxedo with matching shoes.

Does a ring bearer have to carry the rings?

The role of a ring bearer is to carry the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. Typically, the ring bearer is a young boy, usually between the ages of 3 and 8, though some sources suggest the age range can be anywhere from 2 to 10 years old. The ring bearer is often a family member or a child of a close friend, and it is becoming increasingly common to see girls or non-binary children take on the role.

While the ring bearer is usually a child, adults and pets can also be ring bearers. If the couple chooses to have a child as their ring bearer, they should speak to the child's parents first to ensure they are willing to take on the responsibility. The ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for explaining the ring bearer's duties, paying for their outfit and accessories, and attending pre-wedding events.

The ring bearer traditionally carries the rings on a ring bearer pillow, but this is not required. Couples may choose to secure the rings to a ribbon tied around a meaningful item, place them in a bouquet, or have them carried in a briefcase or another creative container.

It is up to the couple to decide whether the ring bearer carries the real wedding rings or fake rings. Most couples choose to have the best man carry the real rings as a precaution, especially if the ring bearer is very young. If the couple chooses to have the ring bearer carry the real rings, it is recommended to wait until right before the ceremony to hand them over, reducing the risk of losing them.

While the role of the ring bearer is to carry the rings, their presence is not necessary for the wedding to take place. They add a special touch to the ceremony, but their role is purely symbolic and traditional.

What age should a ring bearer be?

When it comes to choosing a ring bearer, there are a few things to consider. While the role is typically given to young children, the specific age is flexible and can be chosen based on what suits your wedding theme and dynamic.

Traditional Age Range

The traditional age range for a ring bearer is between 3 and 8 years old. This ensures the child is mature enough to handle the responsibilities associated with the role, such as walking down the aisle and carrying the rings. However, some sources suggest a broader age range of 4 to 12 years old, with 12 being the age where the child will still find the role fun and exciting.

Younger Ring Bearers

If you're considering a ring bearer younger than 3 years old, it is advisable to speak with the child's parents first. They can escort the child down the aisle and help them fulfil their duties. Younger children might be more unpredictable, so it's important to be flexible and have a backup plan. For infants or very young babies, they can be pulled down the aisle in a wagon or sit in a remote-controlled car, adding a unique and memorable touch to your wedding.

Older Ring Bearers

While it is less common, older children or even adults can also take on the role of ring bearer. If you're considering a ring bearer older than 10 years old, you may want to assign them a junior groomsman role, which includes more responsibilities and involvement in pre-wedding events. However, some people prefer older ring bearers as they are more likely to follow directions and are less likely to cry or wander off during the ceremony. Ultimately, it is your decision, and you can choose whoever you think will suit your wedding dynamic and add a special touch to your big day.

Choosing the Right Ring Bearer

Regardless of age, it is important to choose a ring bearer who is close to you or your partner. This could be a young family member, the child of the maid of honour or best man, or even a furry friend. Consider the child's personality and whether they will be excited to take on the role. It is also crucial to speak with the child's parents to ensure they are comfortable with the responsibilities and are willing to assist with any necessary preparations.

Frequently asked questions