Best Man: Do You Really Need One?

While it is common to have a best man at a wedding, it is not mandatory. If you are struggling to choose a best man, you can opt to have just groomsmen, a best woman, or no wedding party at all. You can also consider asking a family member, such as your dad, to stand by your side on your wedding day. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you can set your own rules for your wedding.

What are the best man's responsibilities?

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante. He is usually a close friend or relative of the groom and is tasked with supporting and assisting the groom in any way possible before and during the wedding. Here is a detailed list of the best man's responsibilities:

Pre-Wedding Responsibilities:

• Lead the pack: The best man is the head groomsman and is the point of contact for the groom and the rest of the groomsmen. He is in charge of all communication and spearheads most of their activities and duties.
• Head up the formalwear process: The best man helps the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear and coordinates the other groomsmen's ensembles. This may include gathering measurements, giving order deadlines, or placing the order himself.
• Plan an awesome bachelor party: The best man organizes a bachelor party that the groom will never forget. He enlists the other groomsmen to help with logistics and recommendations.
• Attend pre-wedding events: The best man is expected to attend the engagement party, shower, and ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Buy a wedding gift: The best man is expected to purchase a wedding gift for the couple, although he may organize a group gift with the other groomsmen to save some money.

Wedding Day Responsibilities:

• Take charge of transportation: The best man may be in charge of driving the couple to the reception, wedding-night hotel, or airport after the reception. This requires him to stay sober throughout the wedding reception.
• Be the groom's right hand: The best man is the groom's personal aide and advisor before and during the wedding. This includes helping the groom get ready, delivering a letter to the bride, serving as a point of contact for vendors, and ensuring the groom eats, drinks, and manages any pre-wedding jitters.
• Be the time enforcer: The best man ensures the groomsmen arrive on time for the rehearsal, pre-wedding activities, portrait session, ceremony, and more. He receives a timeline of events from the wedding planner or groom and communicates important times to the groomsmen.
• Keep the wedding rings safe: One of the most important duties of the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe until it is time to exchange vows.
• Stand beside the groom at the altar: During the processional, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom and takes his place closest to the groom at the altar.
• Sign the marriage license: The best man signs the marriage license as a witness, along with the maid of honor, and hands the officiant a sealed envelope with their fee.
• Act as an unofficial reception host: The best man keeps his eyes and ears open at the reception to ensure the newlyweds and guests are having a good time. He may also be expected to mingle, dance, and keep the energy high throughout the reception.

Post-Wedding Responsibilities:

• Help collect gifts: The best man ensures that wedding gifts and cards from guests end up in the right place, whether it's a card box, gift table, or locked room. He may also be asked to deposit checks in the couple's bank account or keep them safe until they return from their honeymoon.
• Give the best man speech: One of the biggest responsibilities of the best man is delivering a well-crafted speech during the reception. The speech should focus on the newlyweds and their love story.
• Decorate the getaway car: The best man helps coordinate and decorate the couple's getaway vehicle after the reception, with permission from the vehicle's owner.
• Tie up loose ends: The best man may be asked to help with certain tasks after the reception, such as tipping and paying vendors, transporting gifts to the couple's home, and returning any rented attire.

Overall, the best man has a crucial role in supporting the groom and ensuring that the wedding runs smoothly. He should be organized, trustworthy, and able to handle a variety of tasks and responsibilities.

Who can be my best man?

There are no rules when it comes to choosing your best man, and you can break tradition if you want to. If you're struggling to choose someone to be your best man, here are some options to consider:

Close friends or relatives

The obvious choice for a best man is usually a close friend or relative, like a brother, cousin, or someone you've known since childhood. This person should know you well and have your best interests at heart. They should be organised, trustworthy, and able to plan and lead pre-wedding events, like a bachelor party.

Other family members

If you don't have any close male friends, you could ask a parent, uncle, grandparent, or other family member to be your best man. This can be a great way to honour a family member who is important to you.

Female friends or relatives

You can also break with tradition and ask a female friend or relative to be your "best (wo)man". This can be a great option if you have a close female friend or relative who you want to include in your wedding party.

Multiple best men

If you have several close friends or relatives who you want to include, you could consider having multiple best men. This can take the pressure off any one person and allow you to include more people in your wedding party.

No best man at all

Finally, remember that you don't have to have a best man at all. You could just have groomsmen, or you could ask your dad or a friend to check on you periodically on your wedding day and see if you need anything. You can also get creative and have a best pup by your side if you're a dog lover!

Do I need a best man for my wedding procession?

The role of the best man is to be the chief groomsman and to assist the groom throughout the wedding planning and on the wedding day. The best man is usually a close friend, sibling, or family member. However, it is not mandatory to have a best man at your wedding. You can choose to have just groomsmen or even a "best woman" instead. If you don't have a best man, you can ask someone else to plan the bachelor party, be by your side on the wedding day, give a speech, and hold the wedding rings. You could ask a parent, sibling, grandparent, cousin, uncle, or friend to take on some of these duties, or even hire a company to throw the bachelor party. Alternatively, you could ask your wedding planner to assist with some of these tasks, such as ensuring the wedding party gets everywhere on time, holding the rings, and making sure you have your favourite drink.

If your partner is having a maid of honour or best man, you may want to consider having a best man to keep the wedding procession even. However, it is not the end of the world if the wedding party is uneven, and you could even scrap the wedding party altogether. Ultimately, it is your wedding, and you can set your own rules and create a wedding party that feels authentic to you.

Who will give the best man speech?

If you're wondering who will give the best man speech at your wedding, you might be considering whether you need a best man at all. While it's typical to have a best man—usually a close friend, sibling, or family member—wedding traditions are not mandatory. You can set your own rules and create a wedding party that feels authentic to you.

If you decide not to have a best man, you can still have groomsmen or opt for a wedding party that includes a "best woman" or "best pup." You can also ask a parent, mentor, or friend to give a speech instead. Alternatively, you can skip the best man speech altogether and use that time for something else, like dancing.

If you do want a best man to give a speech, it's important to choose someone who knows you well and has your best interests at heart. They should be organised and trustworthy, and able to plan and lead pre-wedding events like a bachelor party. Remember, the obvious choice is usually the right one, so consider a brother, a best friend, or a cousin whom you're extremely close with.

If you're still unsure, don't worry—you have options. You can just choose someone, anyone, even if it's not a lifelong friend. You can also have multiple "best men" to share the responsibilities. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you can give a speech yourself!

Who will plan the bachelor party?

Although there are no rules prohibiting the groom from planning his own bachelor party, it is traditionally the best man's job to plan the bachelor party. The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or relative. The best man will often consult the groom about his preferences on location, dates, activities, and the guest list. The groom should have complete control over the guest list and should provide the best man with the contact information for each guest.

If the best man is not up to the task, the other groomsmen can step in and help. The groom might nominate someone to take on the planning role, or the duties can be divided among the group. For example, one person could be in charge of accommodations, while another researches bars and restaurants.

The groom's future spouse can also be enlisted to help come up with fun ideas or plans. The other guests can also be involved in the planning process.

Frequently asked questions