Classic Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Format, Style, And Grace

A wedding invitation is one of the first things your guests will see, so it's important to get it right. The invitation should include the who, what, where, and when of your wedding, but there are many ways to go about this. The wording of your invitation will depend on the tone you want to set for your wedding, whether that be formal, casual, fun, or creative.

The invitation should begin with a host line, which is dedicated to the host of the wedding, or the party covering the expenses. Traditionally, this would be the bride's parents, but nowadays it could also be the groom's parents, the couple, or a combination of both sets of parents. The host line is followed by the request line, where you invite your guests to join your wedding celebration. This is usually a formal phrase such as request the honour of your presence, but more modern invitations might use phrasing such as invite you to share in their joy.

Next, you should include the names of the couple, with the bride's name typically coming before the groom's. For same-sex couples, the names can be listed alphabetically or based on preference. The date and time of the wedding should then be included, with formal invitations spelling these out in full. The location of the wedding should also be specified, including the street address if the venue is a private residence.

Finally, you should include post-ceremony plans, such as reception to follow or dinner and dancing to follow.

The host line: Include the names of those hosting (usually the people paying)

The host line is the first line of a wedding invitation and is dedicated to the host of the wedding, or the party covering the expenses. Traditionally, the bride's parents pay for the wedding, but nowadays, the groom's parents, the couple themselves, or a combination of all three may contribute.

There is no official order or requirement to list the names. It's all up to personal preference. If your family has a non-traditional structure, don't let the host name part of the invitation trip you up. It's easy to accommodate situations such as step-parents or deceased parents. Here are some examples:

Including Step-Parents

> Mr. & Mrs. Flores, Mr. & Mrs. Hill, Mr. & Mrs. Byrne and Mr. & Mrs. Lin request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of Talia Flores & Stephen Byrne

Honouring Deceased Parents

> Mr. & Mrs. Jon Flores and Mr. Tom Byrne & the late Mrs. Nancy Byrne request the honor of your company at the marriage of their children Talia Flores & Stephen Byrne

One Set of Married Parents Hosting

> Include the parents’ full names (with middle names for very formal weddings). If they have different last names, write “and” to join the two names.

> Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Timothy Williams (very formal; middle name is included)

> Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Williams (formal)

> Mr. and Mrs. Christopher and Sarah Williams (formal; includes both first names)

> Christopher and Sarah Williams (less formal)

One Set of Divorced Parents Hosting

> Include the mother’s name first, followed by the father’s name. Do not use “and” to connect the two names; rather, each name should get their own separate line.

> Mr. and Mrs. Allen Jones and Mr. and Mrs. Michael Levy request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Rachel Lynn Levy and Doctor Michael Brandon Smithson Saturday, the twenty-second of March two thousand eighteen at six o'clock Temple Sinai Granville, Ohio

Both Sets of Parents Hosting

> For different-sex couples, list the bride’s parents’ names first, then the groom’s parents’ names. For same-sex couples, list the names according to preference or in the order that looks best with the invitation design.

> Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wong and Mr. and Mrs. Adam Hollis (formal)

> Aaron and Alisha Wong together with Adam and Beatrice Hollis (less formal)

Couple Is Hosting With Their Families

> When the couple and both of their families are contributing to the cost of the wedding, many choose to add a line such as “Together with their families” as the host line.

> Together with their families

> Together with our families

> Together with their parents

Couple Hosting

> If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can skip the host line altogether or start the invitation wording with a warm and welcoming introduction, such as:

> Together with full hearts

> With hearts full of love and joy

The request line: How you invite guests to join the celebration

The request line is where you invite your guests to join your wedding celebration. This is where you can be creative and add a personal touch to your wedding invitation.

Traditionally, couples would include formal wording in the request line to denote a formal, religious ceremony. For example, "request the honour of your presence". Using the British spelling of "honour" and "favour" is also seen as more formal.

However, modern celebrations tend to use more casual language. Here are some examples of wording for the request line:

• "Invite you to join"
• "Please join us to celebrate"
• "Love the pleasure of your company"
• "Together with our parents, we invite you..."
• "We ask you to be present with us at the ceremony uniting..."
• "We invite you to share with us a celebration of love..."
• "We are thrilled to invite you to celebrate the union of..."

The request line is also where you can outline the type of celebration you are inviting guests to share in. For example, "at the marriage of their daughter" if the bride's parents are hosting, or "at the celebration of their union" if the couple is hosting.

Couple's names: The main event

The couple's names are the main event and should be displayed in larger text and oftentimes in a fancy typeface.

For heterosexual couples, the bride's name typically comes before the groom's. The bride's first and middle names are usually used, followed by the groom's full name.

For same-sex couples, the names can be listed in alphabetical order or simply in the order that sounds and looks best.

For formal invitations, it is customary to use both partners' full legal names. If one partner goes by a nickname, it can be used on the save-the-date or other less formal pieces of the invitation suite. If the names are too long, one or both middle names can be dropped.

Capitalise proper names and titles, and avoid punctuation except after courtesy titles. Avoid abbreviations and instead spell everything out, except courtesy titles.

• "Mr. Brian Charles Jamison and Mr. Ryan Rodney request the honour of your presence at their marriage on Saturday, the ninth of September, two-thousand twelve, at noon, Boone Hall, Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. Dinner and merriment to follow."
• "Blake Ellender and Ryan Rodney request the honour of your presence at their marriage on Saturday, the ninth of September, two-thousand twelve, at noon, Boone Hall, Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. Dinner and merriment to follow."
• "Together with their families, Talia Flores and Stephen Byrne request the honour of your presence at their marriage on June 11, 2024, at 12:00 pm, Arctic Club Hotel, Seattle, Washington. Dinner and dancing to follow."
• "Ms. Andrea Jane Brigante and Mr. Robert Holden White request the honour of your presence at their marriage on Saturday, the tenth of July, two thousand seventeen, at half after four o'clock, First Congregational Church, Richmond, Virginia."

Date, time and location: The ceremony details

The date, time, and location are essential details to include in your wedding invitation. Here are some tips and examples to help you format this information for a classic wedding invitation:

Date and Time:

• For a classic, formal invitation, it is customary to spell out the date and time in full. For example, "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon."
• Capitalize the day of the week and the month. Do not use "and" when spelling out the year.
• The time of day should be indicated as "four o'clock" or "half after four o'clock." For times between noon and four o'clock, you can use "in the afternoon." For times after five o'clock, you can use "in the evening."
• If you prefer a more modern or casual style, you can use numerical figures for the date and time, but be sure to choose a legible font to avoid confusion.

Location:

• Include the name and full street address of your wedding venue, including the city, state, and zip code. If your wedding is taking place abroad, include the country as well.
• For a formal invitation, it is customary to spell out the state name in full.
• If your wedding is taking place at a private residence, you may include the street address. Otherwise, the venue's name is usually sufficient.
• If the reception will be held at the same location as the ceremony, you can simply state, "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow."
• If the reception is at a different location, you can include the full address on a separate details card or reception card enclosed with the invitation.

Example 1:

"Saturday, the eleventh of June, two thousand and twenty-three, at twelve o'clock in the afternoon, Arctic Club Hotel, 700 Third Avenue, Seattle, Washington. Reception to follow."

Example 2:

"Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon, First Congregational Church, Spring Hill, Minnesota. Afterward, join us at the Spring Hill Golf Club for dinner and dancing."

Example 3:

"The twentieth of June, two thousand fifteen, at half after three o'clock, First Congregational Church, Spring Hill, Minnesota. Reception to follow at the Spring Hill Golf Club."

Remember to include clear and detailed information about the date, time, and location to ensure your guests arrive at the right place at the right time.

Reception details: What guests can expect after the ceremony

The reception is where the real party begins! After the ceremony, guests can expect to be whisked away to the reception venue, where they will be treated to an evening of celebrations, entertainment, and delicious food and drinks.

Drinks and Dancing

Guests will be eager to toast the newlyweds, so it is important to have a variety of drinks options available. In addition to the usual bar offerings, consider interactive champagne servers or a whiskey and cigar bar for a touch of sophistication. For entertainment, a live band or DJ is always a good choice, but for something more unique, a silent disco or karaoke might be just the thing to get everyone on their feet.

Delicious Food

Whether it's a formal, sit-down dinner or a casual buffet, guests will be treated to a delicious spread at the reception. For more interactive dining, consider food and drink stands where guests can create their own sweet or savoury treats.

Outdoor Fun

If your reception venue has outdoor space, why not set up some lawn games? Corn hole, giant Jenga, and bocce ball are always popular choices. For something more relaxed, a simple game of badminton or hula hoop contest can be organised.

Photo Ops

A wedding photographer will capture all the special moments, but it's also fun to provide disposable cameras on each table so guests can snap candid shots throughout the night. For extra fun, create a photo scavenger hunt list of moments or set up a themed photo booth with fun props and backdrops.

Other Activities

• Caricature artist
• Tarot card reader
• Magicians
• Fire performers
• Celebrity impersonators
• Live painters
• Bingo
• Poker

Frequently asked questions