Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Last Names And What To Include

Wedding invitation wording is a complex affair, with many nuances to consider. Traditionally, the bride's full name (first, middle, and last) is included, followed by the groom's full name. However, modern invitations often feature only the couple's first names or a mix of first and last names. Including last names is generally considered more formal and is especially important for larger guest lists to avoid confusion. Same-sex couples may opt for alphabetical order or choose the order based on their preference. When addressing guests, titles like Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Miss are used based on age and marital status, with Mx. as a gender-neutral option. Outer envelopes are formal, including titles and full names, while inner envelopes are more casual, allowing for flexibility.

Married Couple, Same Last Name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is important to consider the couple's titles and names. For a heterosexual couple, the traditional format is "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

> Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

However, many modern couples may prefer to include the wife's name to avoid having her name left out. In this case, the invitation can be addressed as follows:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

> Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

It is also worth noting that for a same-sex couple, either name can go first, and you can use gender-neutral titles such as "Mx." if appropriate.

When addressing the outer envelope, it is considered formal to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title. This approach works for couples of all genders, regardless of whether they share a surname. Alternatively, you can choose to forgo titles and use only first and last names, especially if you feel that personal titles may be restrictive for your guest list.

Married Couple, Different Last Names

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the outer envelope should include the couple's full names, with their personal titles included. The woman's name is written first, followed by the man's name. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Here's an example:

> Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

For the inner envelope, you can use their first names or a combination of their personal titles and surnames. Here's an example:

> Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

It's important to note that you should always double-check the preferred personal titles of your attendees before finalising your wedding invitations. If you feel that using personal titles may be restrictive or exclusive, you can opt to use only first and last names. Additionally, for unmarried couples with different last names, the outer envelope should list the person you are closest with first, or you can go in alphabetical order.

Unmarried Couple

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to list both names on the invitation, especially if they live together. Each name should be written on a separate line, and you can omit the word "and" as this implies a married couple. For example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim

> Ms. Amanda Rhee"

>

> Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim

> Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is more common to only send an invitation to the person you are closest to and include "and guest" on the inner envelope for their significant other. This can also help to avoid an awkward situation if the couple were to break up before the wedding.

When addressing unmarried couples, it is also important to use the correct titles and spell out names in full. For example, use "Ms." for a woman over 18, and "Miss" for a woman under 18. For men, use "Mr." if they are over 18, otherwise no title is necessary.

Single Person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, it is important to use their preferred title. If they are over 18, use "Mr." for men and “Ms." for women. If you are unsure of their preferred title or want to be more modern, you can forgo the title altogether and just use their first and last name.

On the outer envelope: The preferred title and last name (e.g., Ms. Ali Johnson)

On the inner envelope: Only the last name (e.g., Ms. Johnson)

If a single person has been offered a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, use "and Guest" on the inner envelope:

On the outer envelope: The preferred title and last name (e.g., Mr. James Montgomery)

On the inner envelope: The first name and "and Guest" (e.g., James and Guest)

It is also important to note that if you are inviting a family with children, the outer envelope should only include the parent(s)' names. You can then list each child's name on the inner envelope.

Additionally, if you have a small guest list and everyone knows who is getting married, you may choose to omit last names from the invitations altogether, especially if your wedding is modern and less formal. However, including last names is generally recommended to stick with etiquette and eliminate confusion for guests.

Children

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few considerations to keep in mind. Here are some detailed guidelines to ensure that children are included appropriately:

Outer Envelope Etiquette:

The outer envelope is typically reserved for the names of the parent(s) or guardian(s). When addressing a family with children, it is proper to list the family name or the parents' names, followed by the children's names on the inner envelope. This ensures that all invited guests are clearly stated while maintaining a formal tone for the outer envelope.

For example, the outer envelope can be addressed to:

• "The Thompson Family"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"
• "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"

Inner Envelope Details:

On the inner envelope, you can include the names of the children being invited. For girls under 18, you have the option to use "Miss" as an honorific, while boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".

Here's an example of how to address the inner envelope:

"Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

If you're inviting a family with children who are 18 or older, it is customary to send separate invitations to each adult child, unless they live at home with their parents. In this case, you can follow the same format as for younger children, including their names on the inner envelope.

For example, the outer envelope can be addressed to:

"Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

While the inner envelope includes the children:

"Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Ms. Audrey"

Casual Wedding Invitation Options:

If you prefer a more casual approach for your wedding invitations, you can opt for a less formal style. This may include using only first and last names, without titles, on both the outer and inner envelopes. This option provides flexibility and a more modern feel to your invitations.

For example, the outer envelope can simply say:

"Alan and Emily Thompson"

With the inner envelope listing the children:

"Roger, Chance, Jennifer, and Audrey"

Remember, it's essential to consider the tone and formality of your wedding, as well as your personal preferences, when addressing wedding invitations to families with children.

Frequently asked questions