Envelope Etiquette: Guests' Names On Wedding Invites

When it comes to wedding invitation envelopes, there are a few options for how to address them. The traditional way is to use both inner and outer envelopes, with the outer envelope bearing the guest's name and address, and the inner envelope containing the invitation and bearing the names of those invited. This allows for clarity on who is invited, and by omission, who is not. However, it is becoming increasingly popular to forgo the inner envelope, and simply use an outer envelope. In this case, all invited parties should be listed on the front of the envelope.

When addressing the envelopes, it is important to use the correct titles and names for your guests. For married couples, both names are included, and for unmarried couples living together, each name is listed on a separate line. If you are inviting a single person with a plus one, it is best to include their name if you know it, or you can simply write and guest.

Inner and outer envelopes

Wedding invitations can include an inner and outer envelope, but inner envelopes are optional. The outer envelope is addressed with the guest's mailing address, while the inner envelope states exactly who is invited to the event.

The outer envelope is the formal envelope with the recipients' addresses, full names, titles, and sometimes even middle names. The inner envelope can be much more casual, with titles such as Mr. and Miss, or first names only.

The inner envelope is smaller than the outer envelope and has traditionally been marked only by the titles and last name(s) of the guest(s). However, it is becoming more common to use just the first name on the inner envelope, especially if you are unsure of the guest's preferred pronouns.

The inner envelope is important because it clarifies who is invited to the wedding. For example, if the outer envelope is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. David Wilson / The Wilson Family", the inner envelope would specify whether the children are also invited by including their names, e.g. "Mr. and Mrs. Wilson / David and Sarah". If the children are not invited, their names would be left off.

If you are inviting a single person with a plus-one, the inner envelope can be addressed as "Mr. Styles and Guest" or "Harry Styles and Guest". Including or omitting "and Guest" makes it clear if the invitee is allowed to bring a date.

While the use of inner and outer envelopes is more traditional and formal, it is not required. Some couples may prefer to use only one envelope to reduce expenses and paper usage.

Single guests with a plus one

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few different approaches you can take to let single guests know they are welcome to bring a plus-one. Here are some suggestions:

Using "and Guest"

One popular approach is to use the phrase "and guest" on the inner envelope or invitation card. This can be done by writing the guest's name and then adding "and guest", such as "Mr. John Smith and guest". This approach clearly indicates that the guest is welcome to bring a plus-one without having to include their name on the outer envelope. It is also a good way to avoid any confusion or assumptions about the number of invited guests.

Including a Note

Another option is to include a printed note or a handwritten message on the invitation card or RSVP card. For example, you could write "You are invited to bring a plus-one" or "We have reserved __ seats in your honour". This approach adds a personal touch and ensures that your guests are aware of the option to bring a plus-one. It also allows you to control the number of guests by specifying the number of seats reserved.

Addressing by Name

If you know the name of the plus-one, you can address the outer envelope to both the guest and their plus-one. This approach is more formal and traditional, especially if you include titles such as "Mr." or "Ms.". However, it is important to ensure that you have the correct name and spelling to avoid any embarrassment. This method also ensures that there is no ambiguity about the invitation extending to a plus-one.

Online Invitations

If you are using online invitations, be sure to address all invitees clearly and upfront. Include the names of both the guest and their plus-one if they are in a relationship. If you are allowing a casual plus-one, you can use the guest's name followed by "and guest". This approach ensures that there is no confusion about the invitation and allows your guests to plan accordingly.

Remember, it is your special day, so feel free to be selective about who you offer a plus-one to. Consider your budget, venue capacity, and the social dynamics of your event when making these decisions.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with the same last name, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preferred level of formality.

Formal Addressing:

For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope is usually addressed using "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For instance, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The inner envelope can then be more informal, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

However, this format may not be suitable for modern women who prefer not to have their names left out or lumped in with their husbands. In such cases, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren", while the inner envelope remains the same.

Informal Addressing:

For a less traditional approach, you can opt to remove titles and use first names and the joint last name. For example, the outer envelope can say "Thomas and Michelle Warren", and the inner envelope can simply say "Thomas and Michelle".

It's worth noting that you don't have to spell out the guests' full birth names if they don't commonly use them. For instance, you can use "Kenneth Arendt" or "Ken Arendt", depending on their preference.

Additionally, when addressing married women, you can use "Mrs." or "Ms." as both are acceptable. "Ms." is often preferred as it doesn't identify a woman by her marital status.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation envelope to a married couple with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is recommended to use the couple's full names with their respective titles, such as "Mr." and "Mrs.". The names can be written on the same line or on separate lines if combining them makes the line too long. The woman's name is usually written first, but if you are equally close to both guests, alphabetical order is also an option. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

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> Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you are using only one envelope, you can follow the same format or simply write the names and titles without repeating "Mr." or "Mrs." For example:

> "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

It is important to ensure that you have the correct titles and that you are aware of any name changes, especially if one person has taken the other's last name.

Additionally, if you are inviting children along with the married couple, their names should be included on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if you wish. Boys do not need a title until they are 16. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"

>

> Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

Remember to double-check the preferred titles and names of your guests before addressing the envelopes to ensure accuracy and avoid any misunderstandings.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles or prefixes for each person. For unmarried women, use "Ms." and for unmarried men, use "Mr.". If either person in the couple identifies as non-binary, use the honorific "Mx."

Secondly, the way you write the names on the invitation depends on whether the couple lives together or not. If the unmarried couple lives together, you have two options. You can either list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines or on the same line. If you choose to list their names on separate lines, it would look like this:

Mr. Ross Geller

Ms. Rachel Green

If you prefer to list their names on the same line, write the name of the person you are closest with first, or alphabetically if you are equally close with both. Here is an example:

Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

On the other hand, if the unmarried couple does not live together, send a separate invitation to each guest.

When it comes to the inner envelope, you can use courtesy titles and last names or only first names if you are close with the couple. For example:

Ms. Green and Mr. Geller or Rachel and Ross

It is worth noting that the inner envelope is optional. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope only contains the names of the invitees and holds the invitation inside.

Frequently asked questions