Addressing Wedding Invitations: Etiquette And Addressing Guests By Name

Addressing wedding invitations can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to navigating different relationship statuses, honorific titles, and plus-ones. The traditional format of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith is now often considered outdated and even offensive to some, with many people preferring to see the woman's name included or written first. Others prefer to use titles such as Mr. and Ms. while others still opt for a more modern approach, using only first and last names. When addressing a married couple with the same last name, it is customary to use Mr. and Mrs. for a heterosexual couple, while for same-sex couples, either name can go first. If a woman has chosen to hyphenate her last name, both names should be included in the invitation. When inviting an entire family, the outer envelope is usually addressed to the parents, with children's names included on the inner envelope.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few different ways to go about it, depending on your preferred level of formality. Here are some examples:

Formal Addressing:

For heterosexual couples, a traditional and formal way to address the invitation is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For instance:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

If you would like to include the wife's name, you can address the invitation as follows:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Informal Addressing:

If you prefer a less formal approach, you can simply use the couple's first names and shared last name. It is recommended to list the wife's name first. For example:

• Outer envelope: "Thomas and Michelle Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Thomas and Michelle"

Same-Sex Married Couples:

For same-sex married couples with the same last name, you can follow a similar format as above. Either name can go first. For instance:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mr. Adam Miller" or "Mr. Adam Miller and Mr. Ethan Miller"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mr. Miller" or "Adam and Ethan"

Modern Approach:

In modern times, it is also acceptable to use gender-neutral titles or forgo titles altogether and use only the couple's names. In such cases, you can follow the format below:

• Outer envelope: "Mx. Thomas Warren and Mx. Michelle Warren" or "Thomas Warren and Michelle Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Thomas and Michelle"

Married couples with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is important to respect the wife's choice to keep her maiden name and not refer to her by her husband's surname. Secondly, the outer envelope should be formal and include the couple's full names, including their personal titles. For a heterosexual couple, the woman's name is written first, followed by the man's name on the same line. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to leave out one or more elements of the formal name format used on the outer envelope. You can use personal titles and last names or opt for a more casual approach with first names only. Here is an example:

> Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If the couple has children, there are a few ways to include them in the invitation. One option is to list each child's name on the inner envelope, using "Miss" for girls under 18 and no title for boys under 16. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith"

> Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Joe, and Miss Jane"

Alternatively, you can use a family title to encompass everyone, such as "The Smith-Doe Family". Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "The Smith-Doe Family"

> Inner envelope: "John, Jane, and Joe"

Remember to double-check the preferred titles and names of the couple and their children to ensure your invitations are addressed correctly and respectfully.

Single people

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the proper prefix should be used.

For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.

If you are inviting a widowed woman, it is common to address the envelope with her married name, but it is best to ask for her preference. A divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on whether she goes by her married or maiden name.

For a single person with a plus-one, it is best to know the name of the guest. If not, simply include "and guest" or "& Guest" following the full name of the invitee.

Families with children

When addressing a wedding invitation to a family with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited. If you want to be specific, write the names of each family member, starting with the parent or parents' names, and list the invited children's names in order of age below. Here is an example:

Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson

Mr. Bart Simpson

Miss Lisa Simpson

If you do not want to call out specific family members, you can simply address the envelope to the entire family:

The Simpson Family

Alternatively, you can use the family name or only the names of the parents on the outer envelope:

Mr. & Mrs. Homer Simpson

Then, list the first names of all invited family members on the inner envelope:

Homer, Marge, Bart, Miss Lisa, and Miss Maggie

It is important to note that children under 18 are typically not named on the outer envelope and are instead listed on the inner envelope. If you are not inviting children, simply omit their names from both envelopes.

When addressing female children under the age of 18, use "Miss" as the honorific. Boys under 18 do not need a title, while boys over 18 are addressed as "Mr.". Children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation.

People with distinguished titles

When addressing wedding invitations to people with distinguished titles, it is important to follow the correct etiquette to ensure your guests feel respected and valued. Here are some guidelines to help you address invitations to individuals with distinguished titles:

Doctors

For married couples where one or both partners are doctors, the invitation can be addressed as "The Doctors" or "Drs.". If only one partner is a doctor, their name is listed first, followed by their spouse's name. The full word "Doctor" is used on the outer envelope, while it is abbreviated to "Dr." on the inner envelope.

Military Personnel

For couples with one or both partners serving in the military, their military titles should be included in the invitation. The correct military rank and service information should be used, such as "Lieutenant, US Navy". The person with the higher rank is listed first, regardless of gender.

Lawyers

For married couples where one or both partners are lawyers, their names can be followed by "Esq." on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, the couple can be addressed using their titles and last name or their first names.

Judges

When addressing a judge, the term "The Honorable" is used before their full name on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, the title "Judge" is used, followed by their last name or first name.

Other Titles

For individuals with other distinguished titles, such as clergy or rabbis, their title is listed first on the outer envelope, followed by their name. On the inner envelope, the title and last name or first name can be used. If both partners have distinguished titles, the person with the higher-ranking title is listed first, and if they have the same rank, the woman is traditionally listed first.

Frequently asked questions