Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Including 'And Family

Wedding invitation wording is an art, and there are many ways to address families on wedding invitations. The traditional way is to list the parents' names and then add and Family afterward. For instance, Mr. John and Mrs. Sophia Smith and Family or John and Sophia Smith and family. If you want to be more specific about which family members are invited, you can list the names of each family member, starting with the parent or parents' names, and then list the invited children's names in order of age. Girls under 18 can be addressed as Miss, while boys under 18 do not need a title. For children 18 and older who do not live with their parents, a separate invitation should be sent, using their first name and Ms. or Mr. as appropriate.

Addressing a family with young children

When addressing a family with young children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited. If you want to be specific, write the names of each family member, starting with the parent(s) and listing the invited children in order of age below. For girls under 18, use "Miss" as a prefix, while boys under 18 do not need a title. Here's an example:

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly

If you prefer not to list individual names, you can simply address the envelope to the entire family:

The Abraham Family

Alternatively, you can use the family name or only the names of the parents on the outer envelope:

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

On the inner envelope, list the first names of all invited family members:

Michael, Susan, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly

If the whole family is invited, but you prefer a more concise approach, you can use the parents' names followed by "and family":

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham and Family

When it comes to etiquette, it is generally recommended to use formal titles on the outer envelope, such as "Mr." and "Mrs." The inner envelope is more informal, allowing for the use of first names only or a combination of courtesy titles and last names.

It is worth noting that if you choose not to list the children's names, your guests may assume that their children are invited. To avoid any confusion, it is advisable to mention on your wedding website that the event is adults-only. You can also ask your immediate family and wedding party to help spread the word.

Addressing a family with adult children

When addressing a family with adult children, it is best to send each adult child their own invitation. This is to avoid any confusion and to ensure that it is clear who is and isn't invited.

Use the adult child's full formal name on the outer envelope and include their honorific ("Mr.", "Ms.", etc.) and last name on the inner envelope.

If you are inviting younger children from the same family, their names can be included on the inner envelope.

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few options to choose from, depending on your relationship with the couple and their marital status. Here are some examples to consider:

Married Couple With the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional way is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

However, this format may not be preferred by modern women who want their names included instead of being lumped in with their husbands. In this case, you can address the invitation as follows:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Married Couple With Different Last Names:

For a heterosexual couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long, you can list them separately.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

Married Couple With One Hyphenated Last Name:

If one spouse has chosen to hyphenate their last name, address the invitation as follows:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

Married Couple, One Person Is a Doctor:

If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it on the inner envelope.

Outer envelope: "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith"

Inner envelope: "Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith" or "Tami and Christina"

Married Couple, Both Are Doctors:

In this case, you can use "The Doctors" followed by their last name.

Outer envelope: "The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith"

Inner envelope: "The Doctors Smith" or "Matthew and Angela"

If one of the doctors has chosen to hyphenate their last name, address the envelope as follows:

Outer envelope: "Doctor Matthew Smith and Doctor Angela Griggs-Smith"

Inner envelope: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Griggs-Smith" or "Matthew and Angela"

Addressing a same-sex couple

When addressing a same-sex couple on a wedding invitation, there are no strict rules, and the etiquette varies from couple to couple. Here are some tips and guidelines to consider:

Names

If the couple is not married, traditional etiquette suggests addressing each person individually, writing each name on a separate line, just as you would for an unmarried opposite-sex couple. The order of the names typically doesn't matter, but you can arrange them alphabetically if you prefer.

If the couple is married, write both names on the same line, separated by "and". Include the appropriate titles for each person, such as "Mr." or "Mrs." For example, "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams." Many married same-sex couples choose to keep their last names, so this format is often appropriate.

Another option for married couples with the same last name is to use the plural form of the title. For men, you can write "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith" instead of "Mr. Dan Smith and Mr. John Smith." For women, you can use "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams" or "Mrs. Amanda Williams and Mrs. Jane Williams" if you prefer.

Host Line

The host line typically mentions the names of the people hosting the wedding. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can skip the host line or start with a warm introduction, such as "Together with full hearts" or "With hearts full of love and joy".

If the couple's families are jointly hosting the wedding, you can use a phrase like "Together with their families" or "Together with our families."

Request Line

The request line is where you extend the invitation to attend the wedding. Here are a few examples:

• "Request the honour of your presence" (traditionally for a religious service)
• "Request the pleasure of your company" (or variations) for a non-religious ceremony
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Would love for you to join them"

Order of Names

For same-sex couples, there is no traditional rule for the order of names. You can list the names alphabetically by last name or based on what looks best with the invitation design. Both options, whether it's "Emily and Zara" or "Zara and Emily," are equally appropriate.

Additional Information

Include other relevant details such as the wedding location, date, and time. For very formal weddings, spell out the date, time, and location in full. Include reception information, dress code, and any other important instructions for the guests.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can always personalise the invitation to suit the couple's preferences and the style of the wedding. When in doubt, consider asking the couple for their preferred greeting and format.

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the person's preferred title. If you are unsure, it is better to forgo the title altogether rather than risk offending them. The outer envelope should include the person's full name, including their personal title. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson". The inner envelope can be more informal, and you may use just the person's last name or first name, such as "Ms. Johnson" or "Ali".

If the single person is bringing a plus-one, you can simply write "and Guest" on the inner envelope. For example, the outer envelope could be addressed to "Mx. Sam Li", and the inner envelope to "Sam Li and Guest".

It is also worth noting that if you are only using one envelope for your invitations, all invited parties should be listed on the front. This includes plus-ones and children, who are typically only listed on the inner envelope when using double envelopes.

Frequently asked questions