Wording Wedding Invites: The Etiquette Of 'Plus One

Wedding planning is no easy feat, and addressing wedding invitations can be a tricky task. When it comes to plus-ones, there are a few ways to go about it. Traditionally, invitations have an outer and inner envelope. The outer envelope is addressed to the recipient, while the inner envelope lists the names of all the invitees, such as children or plus-ones. If you're using this method, simply write the guest's name and add and Guest. However, if you're sending a more modern invitation with only one envelope, be sure to clearly address all invitees, including plus-ones, up-front. You can write Mr. Smith and Guest or add a note at the bottom of the card saying, You are invited to bring a plus one. Ultimately, it's your special day, so don't feel obligated to offer plus-ones to everyone.

Using and guest

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few different approaches you can take to indicate that a guest is invited to bring a plus-one. Here are some suggestions for using "and guest":

Outer and Inner Envelopes

Traditionally, wedding invitations include an outer and an inner envelope. The outer envelope is more formal and typically includes the recipient's full name and title. The inner envelope is more informal and may omit certain elements of the formal name format.

For a guest with a plus-one, you can address the outer envelope with their name alone, and the inner envelope with their name followed by "and guest". For example:

Outer envelope:

Mr. Smith

Inner envelope:

Mr. Smith and Guest

Alternatively, you can include a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus-one".

Single Envelope

If you are using only one envelope, all invited parties, including plus-ones, should be listed on the front. In this case, you can address the envelope with the guest's name followed by "and guest". For example:

Single envelope:

Mr. Smith and Guest

Online Invitations

If you are sending online invitations, include the names of the invited guest and their plus-one at the beginning of the email. For example:

"Mr. Smith and Guest"

RSVP Cards

To further clarify the plus-one allowance, you can include a line on the RSVP card indicating the number of seats reserved. For example:

"__ of 2 will be attending"

Or:

"We have reserved __ seats in your honour"

Wedding Website

If you have a wedding website, you can also use it to set expectations regarding plus-ones. A simple sentence will suffice:

"Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate plus-ones due to our venue capacity. We appreciate your understanding, and we can't wait to celebrate with you on the day!"

Addressing outer envelopes

When addressing the outer envelope of a wedding invitation, it is important to follow certain etiquette rules to ensure your guests feel welcome. Here are some detailed instructions and examples for addressing outer envelopes when your guests have a plus-one:

• Formal Addressing: Traditionally, the outer envelope is more formal. Write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Mx., Dr., etc.). For a couple, use both partners' full names on the same line. If they have different last names, list the names alphabetically or with the person you are closest to first. For a plus-one, you can simply add “and Guest” after the named guest, for example, "Mr. Smith and Guest". This is a foolproof way to indicate that the guest is welcome to bring a plus-one.
• Modern Addressing: If personal titles feel too restrictive, you can modernise the addressing by using only first and last names. For a plus-one, you can still use the "and Guest" format or include a note inside the invitation. For example, address the outer envelope to "Mr. Smith" and include a note inside saying, "You are invited to bring a plus-one".
• Married, Engaged, and Cohabitating Guests: It is customary to extend a plus-one invitation to guests who are married, engaged, or living with their partner. In this case, list both guests by their full names on the outer envelope. If you don't know the name of the plus-one, you can use the "and Guest" format. For example, "Mr. Smith and Guest".
• Inner Envelope Note: If you are using both inner and outer envelopes, another option is to include the plus-one information on the inner envelope. Address the outer envelope to the guest only, and on the inner envelope, write the guest's name followed by "and Guest". This way, the guest will understand that the invitation is directed to them, and upon opening, they will see that they are invited to bring a plus-one.
• Be Clear and Direct: Avoid using vague phrases like "plus-one" or "and guest" on the outer envelope if you are not offering a plus-one option to all guests. This may create confusion. Instead, be clear and direct, addressing the outer envelope only to the invited guest(s). If a plus-one is offered, use the formats mentioned above for clarity.
• Seating Chart Adjustments: If you are offering plus-ones, remember to adjust your seating chart or escort cards accordingly once guests confirm their attendance with their plus-ones' names. This will ensure a smooth seating arrangement on the wedding day.

Inner envelope notes

The inner envelope is where you can include the names of any plus-ones or additional guests. This is also where you can be more informal, forgoing titles and surnames if you wish.

If you are inviting a single person and would like them to bring a plus-one, you can write their name followed by "and guest". For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson and guest". If you would prefer to be more gender-neutral, you can write "Mx. Sam Li and guest".

If you are inviting a married or engaged couple, you can include both of their names. For example, "Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Rivera". If the couple is unmarried, simply write their names on separate lines. For example, "Mr. Aaron Triguiero, Mr. Gabriel Reyes".

If you are inviting a family with young children, you can list each child's name on the inner envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly".

If you are inviting a family with children over the age of 18, each child should receive their own invitation. For example, "Ms. Audrey Abraham".

Remember, the inner envelope is more casual, so you can use first names only or a combination of titles and surnames, whichever you prefer. The most important thing is to clearly indicate who is invited and if they are allowed to bring a plus-one.

Plus-one on the invitation

When it comes to addressing plus-ones on wedding invitations, there are a few different approaches you can take. The traditional way to indicate a plus-one is to include an outer and inner envelope. The outer envelope is addressed to the recipient, i.e., the guest you know personally, and the inner envelope lists the names of all invitees, such as children or plus-ones. However, modern invitations often use a single envelope or online format, in which case you should address all invitees clearly and upfront.

If you are inviting a guest with a plus-one, you can address the invitation to "Mr. Smith and Guest" or "Ms. Smith and Guest". This format is standard and polite. If you know the name of the plus-one, it is preferable to include their name on the invitation, for example, "Mr. Smith and Ms. Jones". This approach is especially important if the plus-one is a spouse, fiancé, or live-in partner, as they should always be invited and named.

If you are using a single envelope or an online invitation, you can include a note at the bottom or back of the invitation stating, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus-one". This approach ensures that your guest knows they are welcome to bring a date. Alternatively, you can include a line on the RSVP card that indicates the number of seats reserved, such as "_ seats reserved in your honour" or "_ of 2 will be attending". This method helps to clarify the number of guests invited and prevents any assumptions or misunderstandings.

Remember, it is not obligatory to offer plus-ones to all guests. If you are having a small wedding or are working with a limited budget, it is perfectly acceptable to be selective about who receives a plus-one. In such cases, it is essential to address the invitation only to the guest you are inviting. If they indicate an additional guest on the RSVP, you can kindly explain that your wedding is an intimate affair.

Seating plans for plus-ones

When it comes to addressing plus-ones on wedding seating plans, there are a few approaches you can take to ensure clear and thoughtful labelling. Here are some ideas to consider:

Names on the Seating Chart

One option is to ask your guests for the name of their plus-one ahead of time. This allows you to include the plus-one's name on the seating chart, ensuring a more personalised experience for your guests. It is considered polite to obtain the guest's name, and it may be helpful to set a deadline for your guests to provide this information. However, if the name is not provided, you can still accommodate their plus-one on the seating plan.

"Guest of [Name]" or " [Name]'s Guest"

If your guests' plus-ones are unknown or their names are not provided, you can use labels such as "Guest of [Name of Guest]" or " [Name of Guest]'s Guest". This approach ensures that the plus-one is associated with the primary guest and can be easily accommodated on the seating chart.

"Billy's Plus-One" or Similar

In cases where you know the primary guest is bringing someone but don't know their name, you can use a label like "Billy's Plus-One" on the seating chart. This approach is direct and clear, indicating that the seat is reserved for the plus-one guest accompanying Billy.

Seating Cards Displayed Near Primary Guest

Another option is to create a seating card for the plus-one and display it near the primary guest's card. This way, the plus-one can easily find their designated seat without their name being included on the main seating chart.

Seating Arrangements for Wedding Party Plus-Ones

When it comes to seating arrangements for the wedding party and their plus-ones, there are a few options to consider:

• Include the wedding party and their plus-ones at a large head table or king's table. This creates a grand display and ensures the wedding party is seated together.
• Opt for a sweetheart table for the couple and seat the wedding party with their plus-ones at nearby tables. This allows the wedding party to be close to the couple while also enjoying the company of their partners.
• Create a mix of seating arrangements, such as including the maid of honour, best man, and their plus-ones at the head table with the couple, while the rest of the wedding party sits with their partners at nearby tables.

Remember, it's important to consider the comfort and preferences of your guests and wedding party members when making seating arrangements. Some people may prefer not to be separated from their plus-ones or partners, while others may enjoy the opportunity to socialise with other guests.

Frequently asked questions