Rhiannon Hendricks
Wedding invitations are a chance to showcase your style and give your guests all the essential details they need to know about your big day. While the rules of wedding invitation etiquette are not overly complicated, there are some important considerations to keep in mind when it comes to including parent titles. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding and are named at the top of the invitation. However, modern couples often opt to include the names of both sets of parents as a gracious way of acknowledging their contribution. If the couple chooses to host the wedding themselves, they can omit the host line altogether. When it comes to wording and formatting, there are several options to choose from, depending on the level of formality desired.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Including parents' titles | Optional, but considered gracious and polite |
| Omitting parents' titles | Acceptable, especially if the couple is hosting |
| Including both sets of parents | Common and considerate, especially if both are contributing financially |
| Including deceased parents | Possible by rearranging the invitation wording |
| Including divorced parents | Possible by listing each parent on a separate line |
| Including stepparents | Possible by listing them on the same line as their partner |
| Same-sex couples | Names can be listed alphabetically or based on preference |
| Including middle names | Optional, unless the wedding is very formal |
What You'll Learn
Including both sets of parents
When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few standard elements that should be included. These are:
- A request to come to the wedding
- The names of the couple
- Reception information
If both sets of parents are hosting, it is customary to include their names on the invitation. Here are some examples of how to word such an invitation:
Formal Wording
> Kenzie M. Smith and Jennifer L. Smith
> Mark Franklin and Mary Elizabeth Reyes
> request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children
> Olivia Rose and John Michael
> Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four in the afternoon at [venue name and address]
> Reception to follow
Fun Wording
> Kenzie Smith and Jennifer Smith
> Mark Franklin and Mary Reyes
> hope you'll join them on the dance floor to celebrate the marriage of their children
> Olivia Rose and John Michael
> Saturday, August 17, 2024 at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address]
> Merriment to follow
Casual Wording
> Kenzie and Jennifer Smith along with Mark and Sally Reyes
> invite you to share and celebrate the marriage of their children
> Olivia Rose and John Michael
> Saturday, August 17, 2024 at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address]
> Reception to follow
Creative Wording
> Kenzie and Jennifer Smith and Mark and Sally Reyes
> can't wait to celebrate with you at the marriage of
> Olivia Rose and John Michael
> Saturday, August 17, 2024 at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address]
> Party to follow
Modern Wording
> Kenzie and Jennifer Smith and Mark and Sally Reyes
> hope you will attend the marriage of
> Olivia Rose and John Michael
> Saturday, August 17, 2024 at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address]
> Reception to follow
Simple Wording
> Kenzie and Jennifer Smith and Mark and Sally Reyes
> invite you to the wedding of
> Olivia Rose and John Michael
> Saturday, August 17, 2024 at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address]
> Reception to follow
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Deceased parents
If you have lost a parent, you may want to find ways to honour their memory on your wedding day. One way to do this is to include their name on your wedding invitation. However, this can be tricky, and you may have many questions about how to craft your invite. Here is some advice on how to include a deceased parent on your wedding invitation.
How to Include a Deceased Parent on a Wedding Invitation
The traditional format of a wedding invitation is:
> [Engaged Person’s Name]
> child of [Parent’s Name] and [Parent’s Name]
> [Engaged Person’s Name]
> child of [Parent’s Name] and [Parent’s Name]
> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
If one parent has passed away, you can list the surviving parent's name first, followed by "and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]". For example:
> [Engaged Person’s Name]
> child of [Surviving Parent's Name] and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]
> [Engaged Person’s Name]
> child of [Parent’s Name] and [Parent’s Name]
> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
This format can also be adapted if both parents have passed away, by listing both parents as "late".
> [Engaged Person’s Name]
> child of the late [Parent’s Name] and [Parent’s Name]
> [Engaged Person’s Name]
> child of [Parent’s Name] and the late [Parent’s Name]
> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
Other Options
If you do not want to include your deceased parent on the invitation, there are other ways to honour them. You could include their memory in the wedding service itself, such as by lighting a memorial candle, reserving a seat for them, or including a note "in loving memory" in the wedding program. You could also give a toast, read a memorial poem, or hold a bouquet of flowers that reminds you of them.
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Divorced parents
When it comes to wedding invitation wording, there are some basic rules to follow, but ultimately, you are free to riff off these principles to create your own.
If your parents are divorced, the mother's name always comes first, followed by the father's name on a separate line with no "and" to conjoin them. This is because "and" signifies marriage and is only used to unite married couples. The mother's title can be either Ms. or Mrs., but "Ms." is recommended to eliminate any confusion.
If your mother kept her married name:
> Ms. Sarah Smith
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
If your mother uses her maiden name:
> Ms. Sarah Jones
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
> Michael Alan Timmons
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
> Michael Alan Timmons
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
> Michael Alan Timmons
> Ms. Sarah Smith
> Mr. John Smith
> together with
> Mr. and Mrs. Alan Timmons
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children
> Michael Alan Timmons
> Mrs. Sarah Smith
> together with
> Mr. and Mrs. Alan Timmons
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children
> Avery June Smith daughter of the late Mr. John Smith
> Michael Alan Timmons
> Ms. Sarah Smith
> together with Mr. and Mrs. Alan Timmons
> request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children
> Elizabeth Ann Monroe to Kevin Charles Black
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Same-sex couples
When it comes to wedding invitation wording, there are no strict rules for same-sex couples, but there are some guidelines that can help you create elegant and respectful invitations. Here are some tips to keep in mind:
Names of the Couple
The names of the couple are, of course, essential. For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of putting the woman's name first does not apply. Instead, you are free to choose the order that sounds best or is more aesthetically pleasing. For example, "Emily and Zara" or "Zara and Emily" are both equally lovely. If you are still unsure, alphabetical order is always a safe choice.
If the couple is married, you can address them as "Mr." or "Mrs." followed by their names, e.g., "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams." Using the plural form of the titles, especially if they share a last name, is also an option: "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith" or "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams."
If the couple is not married, you should address each person individually with the appropriate title, writing each name on a separate line. The order of the names is typically not important, but alphabetical order is a safe choice if you are unsure.
Host Line
As same-sex couples often pay for the wedding themselves or jointly with their families, the invitation should reflect this. Here are some examples:
- "John Smith and Peter Brown request the pleasure of your company..."
- "Together with their families, [Couple's names] request the pleasure of your company..."
Other Details
While the names of the couple and the host line are essential, don't forget to include other key details such as the wedding location, date, and time, as well as information about the reception or evening party. It is also important to avoid abbreviations for venues or addresses to ensure your guests find the correct location.
In conclusion, while there are no strict rules, these guidelines will help you create elegant and respectful wedding invitations for same-sex couples. Feel free to add a personal touch and always ensure that the important information is conveyed clearly and concisely.
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Dress code
When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to include a dress code so that guests know what is expected of them attire-wise. Here is a guide to help you decide what to include:
White Tie or Full Evening Dress
This is the most formal of all wedding dress codes. Men usually dress in long-tail tuxedos, while women wear full-length ball gowns.
Black Tie
Black tie usually indicates an evening wedding. Men typically wear tuxedos with black bow ties, and women wear formal floor-length gowns. It's worth noting that black tie does not mean guests have to wear black, but traditionally, men would wear a black bow tie and tuxedo.
Formal or Black Tie Optional
These phrases indicate that guests are encouraged to wear black-tie attire, but it is not mandatory. Men can wear a dark suit with a shirt and tie if they don't want to wear a tuxedo. Women can wear a floor-length gown, knee-length cocktail dress, pantsuit, or dressy separates.
Lounge Suit or Semi-Formal
This dress code is a step down in formality from black tie and is suitable for a semi-formal daytime wedding. The wedding party will be in formal wedding attire, but it is optional for guests. Men should wear a classic suit or tux with a tie, and women should wear formal evening wear (floor-length dresses or evening pantsuits).
Jacket and Tie
Similar to lounge suit or semi-formal, this dress code indicates that it is acceptable for men to wear a sports jacket, suit jacket, or smart blazer with chinos and a tie. Women should wear a cocktail dress that is shorter than floor-length, a pantsuit, or dressy separates.
Cocktail Attire
Cocktail attire is a balance between elegant and comfortable. Women should opt for a tea-length, knee-length, or midi dress, while men are required to wear a suit and tie, regardless of the setting.
Smart Casual
Smart casual means that wedding guests should dress neatly, without being too dressy or too casual. Men can wear dark denim, chinos, or suit paints with a neat shirt, and women can wear a skirt or smart trousers.
You can include the dress code on the wedding invitation itself, usually in the lower left or right-hand corner, or at the bottom centre of the design. Alternatively, you can include it on a separate information or details card, or on your wedding website.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it is not necessary to include parent titles on your wedding invitations. The only essential information to include is the couple's full names, who is hosting the nuptials, the ceremony location, and the reception venue.
The traditional way to word parent titles on wedding invitations is to include the names of both sets of parents, crediting all the parents rather than leaving two out. For example: "Kenzie M. Smith and Jennifer L. Smith, Mark Franklin and Mary Elizabeth Reyes request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael."
If you would like to include only one parent's name on the invitation, you can simply omit the other parent's name. For example: "The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of Jack Alexander Smith to Mason Jacob Kim."
If one of the parents is deceased, you can rearrange the wording to include the deceased parent's name without indicating that they are hosting. For example: "Ariana Smith, daughter of Mr. Austin Smith and the late Kristen Smith, requests the pleasure of your presence."
If the couple's parents are divorced, you can include all of their names on separate lines. For example: "Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory, and Mr. James Abner and Lydia Abner, and Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland invite you to the wedding of their children Amy Abner and Charles Hyland."
