How To Address A Captain On A Wedding Invitation

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a lot of nuances to consider. One such nuance is whether to abbreviate the title Captain when addressing wedding invitations to couples where one or both members are captains in the military. While it is essential to consider the couple's preferences and the level of formality of the wedding, adhering to standard etiquette guidelines ensures a respectful and clear invitation.

Abbreviating titles and suffixes

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to follow certain rules to avoid offending your guests. Here are some guidelines for abbreviating titles and suffixes:

Military Titles

Military wedding invitations follow the same general guidelines as civilian weddings, with a few differences in the use of titles. The bride's/groom's rank and service branch should be included, along with those of their parents if they are in the military. Traditionally, brides who are members of the military do not use their titles on the invitations, but they can choose to do so. Military titles should never be abbreviated. For example, "Colonel and Mrs. Andrew Garcia" or "Captain James Rice Taylor".

Professional Titles

Professional titles such as "Dr." for doctors, "Esq." for attorneys, and "Rev." for reverends should be spelled out in full on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, it is acceptable to abbreviate these titles, such as "Dr." for doctor. If both members of a couple have the same professional title, they can be addressed together, such as "The Doctors Smith".

Generational Suffixes

Generational suffixes such as "Senior" or "Junior" should not be abbreviated. For example, "Mr. Joseph Morales, Jr." or "Mr. Joseph Morales IV". The suffix "Junior" can be spelled out on a more formal invitation.

State Names

When writing the return address or the address of the wedding venue, state names should be spelled out in full. For example, "Washington, District of Columbia" instead of "WA" or "DC". This adds a touch of formality and elegance to the invitation.

Street Names and Numbers

All words in the address, including street names and numbers, should be spelled out in full. For example, write "Sixty-Seventh Street" instead of "67th St.". House numbers smaller than twenty should also be spelled out. This attention to detail ensures that the invitation exudes sophistication and adheres to traditional etiquette.

Inner and Outer Envelopes

Traditionally, wedding invitations were sent with two envelopes: an outer envelope for mailing and an inner envelope to keep the invitation clean and pristine. The outer envelope is addressed more formally, while the inner envelope usually includes only first names or familiar names, such as "Aunt Becky & Uncle Raul". If using both envelopes, the outer envelope should follow the formal addressing guidelines mentioned above.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is important to use full names and avoid nicknames or initials. The outer envelope is typically more formal and includes titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The inner envelope can be less formal and may include first names only, such as "Thomas and Michelle".

If the couple prefers a less traditional approach, the wife's name can be included in the address. The outer envelope could be addressed as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". The inner envelope could then be "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names.

It is also possible to omit titles altogether and simply use first and last names, especially for more casual weddings. In this case, the outer envelope could be addressed as "Thomas Warren and Michelle Warren", while the inner envelope could be more informal, such as "Thomas and Michelle".

For same-sex married couples with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "The Mesdames Suzanne and Deborah Jones" or "The Mssrs. Robert and Peter Smith". Alternatively, a less formal approach would be "Mrs. and Mrs. Jones" or "Mr. and Mr. Smith". The inner envelope can then include first names only.

It is important to remember that the chosen format should respect the preferences of the couple and make them feel welcome at the wedding.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few etiquette rules to keep in mind. Firstly, it is recommended to use the couple's full names, avoiding nicknames or initials. Secondly, social titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs." should be used, with the woman's name listed first. This is the case regardless of whether the couple is heterosexual or same-sex. Here is an example of how to format the outer and inner envelopes for a heterosexual couple:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

For same-sex couples with different last names, the names should be listed alphabetically by last name, with each name preceded by the appropriate title. Here is an example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Lisa Chan and Ms. Angelica Green" or "Mr. Bradley Washington and Mr. Walter Randolph"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Chan and Ms. Green" or "Mr. Washington and Mr. Randolph"

If one or both members of the couple have a professional title, such as "Doctor" or a military rank, this should be included in the address. The person with the title should be listed first, regardless of gender. Here is an example for a heterosexual couple:

Outer envelope: "Doctor Katherine Herman and Mr. Gary Shepherd"

Inner envelope: "Dr. Herman and Mr. Shepherd" or "Katherine and Gary"

For same-sex couples with different last names and professional titles, the names should still be listed alphabetically by last name. Here is an example:

Outer envelope: "Captain Josephine Wood and Lieutenant Jonathan Wood, US Navy"

Inner envelope: "Captain Wood and Lieutenant Wood"

It is worth noting that etiquette rules are not set in stone and can be adapted to fit the level of formality and style of your wedding. If you think a rule might offend someone, don't be afraid to ignore it. The most important thing is to make your guests feel respected and welcome at your wedding.

Married couples with children

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with children, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and full names of the couple. For a heterosexual married couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. However, this can be seen as outdated, and it may be more appropriate to list both names, with the woman's name first: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". For same-sex couples, either name can go first.

If the couple has different last names, their names should be written on the same line, with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long, they can be listed separately: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

When including children on the invitation, those under the age of 18 are usually only listed on the inner envelope, while children over 18 should receive their own invitation. On the inner envelope, list the first names of the children and address girls under 18 as "Miss". Boys do not need a title until they are 16, when they can be addressed as "Mr.".

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" or "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle" followed by the children's names, e.g., Michael, Miss Emily, and Daniel.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, it is important to follow certain etiquette rules to ensure clarity and avoid offending your guests. Here are some guidelines to follow when addressing invitations to unmarried couples:

Names on Separate Lines:

The most common way to indicate that a couple is unmarried is to write their names on separate lines without using the word "and." For example:

Mr. John Francis Smith, II

Ms. (or Miss) Anna Brown

Avoid Using "and":

The word "and" between two names typically implies that the couple is married. Therefore, it is best to avoid using "and" when addressing unmarried couples.

Include Both Guests' Names:

When inviting an unmarried couple who lives together, it is essential to include both guests' full names—first and last—on the invitation, even if you have never met the significant other. Take the time to find out their names before sending out the invitations.

Unmarried Couple Living Separately:

When addressing an unmarried couple who does not live together, it is ideal to send a separate wedding invitation to each person. However, if you prefer, you can send one invitation to the primary invited guest and include the significant other's name on the inner envelope.

Be Mindful of Break-ups:

Consider what would happen if the couple breaks up before the wedding. If you feel that both individuals would still be invited even after a break-up, it is best to send separate invitations to each of them. This approach avoids any potential awkwardness.

Avoid "and Guest":

Instead of writing "and Guest," make an effort to find out the name of the significant other and include it on the invitation. This shows thoughtfulness and respect for your guests.

Maintain Consistency:

Establish a consistent policy for inviting unmarried couples to your wedding. Including all established couples, regardless of the length of their relationship, is a good way to avoid upsetting or offending your friends and family.

Frequently asked questions