Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business, and it's important to get right as it's the first glimpse your guests will have of your big day. Traditionally, wedding invitations are sent out in two envelopes: an outer and an inner. The outer envelope is addressed formally, with titles and surnames, and is the envelope that is mailed. The inner envelope is more informal and includes the names of those invited from the household, including children. However, pocket invitations are contemporary and do not require inner envelopes. So, how do you indicate who is invited without an inner envelope? There are several creative ways to do this, including addressing the pocket itself or using paper belly bands.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Use of inner and outer envelopes | Pocket invitations do not require inner envelopes. |
Formality | Pocket invitations are contemporary. |
Addressing guests with children | The names of guests with children can be included on the outer envelope. |
Addressing guests with a plus-one | The names of guests with a plus-one can be included on the outer envelope. |
Addressing single guests | Single guests can be addressed by their title and last name on the outer envelope. |
What You'll Learn
Pocket invitations are contemporary and do not require inner envelopes
Pocket invitations are a contemporary alternative to traditional wedding invitations and, as such, do not require inner envelopes. The pocket of the invitation serves the same purpose as an inner envelope, housing and organising the invitation and its components.
While traditional wedding invitation etiquette calls for the use of properly addressed inner and outer envelopes, this is not necessary for pocket invitations. Here are some tips for addressing pocket invitations without inner envelopes:
- Include guests and children on the outer envelope: List the primary invitee's name followed by "and Guest" or "and Family". This is a formal and proper way to indicate that their significant other or children are invited.
- Indicate guests or children on the RSVP card: Use the reply card to specify the number of guests attending. Add a line for the number of attendees or request a number next to the entree choices. You can also personalise the reply cards with the names of those invited.
- Address the pocket directly: Write the informal address on the side of the pocket without the flap. This way, when the pocket is removed from the envelope, the address will be visible. Use gelly roll pens or calligraphy markers for writing on the pockets.
- Use paper belly bands: Include guests and children on a printed paper belly band or tag wrapped around the pocket. This can be done using a data merge program.
By following these creative addressing tips, you can ensure that your pocket invitations are properly addressed and clearly indicate who is invited to your wedding.
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How to address a married couple with the same last name
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spell out the couple's full names. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
If the wife has kept her last name, it is essential to include her first and last name to avoid erasing her identity. In this case, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. [Husband's first name] [Shared last name] and Mrs. [Wife's first name] [Shared last name]". For example, "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
The inner envelope is more informal and can include just the couple's first names or their titles and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".
It is worth noting that some modern women may prefer to be addressed without the "Mrs." title, so it is always a good idea to check with the couple beforehand if you are unsure.
Additionally, if you are using pocket invitations, which are contemporary and do not require inner envelopes, you can include guests' names on the outer envelope, such as "Mr. and Mrs. James Jones and Family". This clearly indicates that the couple's children are also invited to the wedding.
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How to address a married couple with different last names
When addressing a married couple with different last names, it's important to remember a few key points to ensure your invitation is both respectful and proper. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you:
Use Separate Lines for Each Individual
It is generally recommended to write the names of the couple on separate lines rather than trying to fit them on the same line, especially if they have long last names. This approach ensures that each person's name is clearly visible and avoids a cluttered appearance.
Include Appropriate Titles and Full Names
When addressing a married couple with different last names, it is respectful to use appropriate titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs." or "Ms." before their names. Avoid using only the first name of one individual paired with the other's last name, as this may appear disrespectful and imply that one person is an afterthought.
For example, you could address the outer envelope as:
> Mr. John Smith
> Mrs. Jane Doe
Be Mindful of Name Order
When addressing a married couple with different last names, the traditional approach is to list the woman's name first, followed by the man's name. However, this is not a rigid rule, and you can adjust the order based on your relationship with the couple. If you are equally close to both individuals, alphabetical order can be used.
Addressing Children and Family
If you are inviting children who share one parent's last name, you can include them under the parent with the matching last name. For example:
> Mr. John Smith
> Mrs. Jane Doe
> Joe Smith
Alternatively, you can opt for a family-style approach, such as:
> The Smith-Doe Family
Avoid Assumptions
It is essential not to assume that the wife has changed her name or that she prefers a specific title. If you are unsure, it is always best to ask. This simple step ensures that you respect their preferences and avoids any potential awkwardness.
Inner Envelope Addressing
The inner envelope provides more flexibility in terms of formality. You can maintain the same format as the outer envelope or opt for a more casual approach by using first names only. For example:
> John and Jane
In conclusion, when addressing a married couple with different last names, it is important to be mindful of proper etiquette. Using separate lines for each individual, including appropriate titles and full names, considering name order, addressing children or family appropriately, and avoiding assumptions will ensure your invitations are both respectful and well-received.
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How to address a married couple with one hyphenated last name
When addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few different ways to do so, depending on the formality of the invitation and the couple's names. Here are some examples:
Formal Addressing:
For a formal invitation, the outer envelope can be addressed using the following formats:
- Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones
- Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft
The inner envelope can be more informal, and you have a few options:
- Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones
- Thomas and Michelle
- Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft
- Marcus and Brian
Informal Addressing:
If you're going for a more casual vibe, you can address the outer envelope with just the first names of the couple:
- Mary and Michael
- Marcus and Brian
The inner envelope can be even more informal, and you can address it to the couple by their first names only:
- Mary and Michael
- Marcus and Brian
General Guidelines:
When addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name, it's important to remember the following:
- The outer envelope is more formal and should include full names and titles (Mr., Ms., Mrs., etc.).
- The inner envelope is more informal and can include just the first names of the couple.
- Always use the person's preferred title. If you're unsure, it's better to forgo a title altogether.
- If the couple has different last names, list each person's name separately, joined by "and".
- Avoid using "Mrs." if the wife has hyphenated her last name, as it is not technically correct. "Ms." is always a safe choice.
- When in doubt, ask the couple about their preferred names and titles.
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How to address a single male
When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure you follow proper etiquette. Firstly, it is important to use the complete, formal name of your guest. For a single male, the title "Mr." is used if he is over 18. If he is younger than 18, no title is necessary. Here is an example of how to address a single male on the outer and inner envelope:
Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"
If you are inviting a single male with a plus-one, you would address the outer envelope to the guest only, and include "and guest" on the inner envelope:
Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery and guest" or "James and guest"
It is worth noting that wedding invitation etiquette has become more flexible in modern times. If you are hosting an informal wedding, such as a laid-back backyard barbecue, you can use a more casual formatting style and forgo titles or use just first names. However, if you are having a formal wedding, it is best to stick to the traditional etiquette guidelines outlined above.
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Frequently asked questions
Pocket invitations are contemporary and do not require inner envelopes. The outer envelope should include the recipient's full name and title, but you can choose to forgo titles and only use first and last names.
You can include guests and children on the outer mailing envelope, for example, "Mr. James Jones and Guest". You can also indicate the number of guests on the RSVP card by adding a line for the number attending.
For a heterosexual married couple with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first.
On the outer envelope, use the guest's full name without indicating the plus-one. On the inner envelope or directly on the pocket, you can write the guest's name followed by "and Guest".