Weddings Abroad: A Tactic To Avoid Large Family Gatherings?

Destination weddings are a controversial topic, with many people believing they are a selfish choice. However, they can be a good option for couples with large families who want a small wedding, as it is harder for guests to attend destination weddings due to the cost and travel involved. This means that guest lists are often naturally reduced, and couples are more likely to be left with a smaller wedding.

Destination weddings are expensive for guests

While destination weddings can be cheaper for the couple, they are often more expensive for guests. According to The Knot, the average cost for guests attending a destination wedding is $673 per person, compared to $703 for a traditional wedding. This figure includes travel and accommodation expenses, which can range from $500 to $1,000 for guests travelling from the US to Mexico.

The cost of attending a destination wedding can be a significant burden for guests, and it is not uncommon for invited guests to decline the invitation due to financial constraints. In fact, a study by Bankrate found that 56% of Americans believe it is in poor taste for a couple to plan a destination wedding. The same study also revealed that nearly 20% of those surveyed had declined invitations to destination weddings due to financial constraints.

While it is understandable that couples may want to get married in a location that is special to them, it is important to be mindful of the financial burden this may place on guests. As a result, it is not uncommon for destination weddings to have a lower attendance rate than traditional weddings.

However, there are ways to mitigate the costs for guests. For example, choosing an all-inclusive resort can help save money on accommodations, meals, and group activities. Additionally, planning the wedding during the off-season may result in lower travel costs. Ultimately, it is essential to consider the financial situation of your guests when planning a destination wedding and be understanding if some guests are unable to attend due to financial constraints.

They can be a lot of effort for guests to get to

One of the main reasons why people might choose not to attend a destination wedding is the effort required to get there. This is closely linked with the cost, as any kind of travel can be expensive, especially if the wedding is in another country. It can also be a big ask for guests to use their limited vacation days to attend a wedding.

Some couples choose a destination wedding because one partner's family lives in a different country, which would require a lot of travel for the other side of the family regardless. In this case, a destination wedding might make more sense as it can split the travel distance. For example, if one person is from Canada and the other is from England, a destination wedding in, say, France, might be a good middle ground.

However, it's important to remember that even if the wedding is local, it doesn't guarantee that people won't have to travel and that all guests will be able to attend.

If you're planning a destination wedding and want to make it easier for your guests, it's a good idea to send out Save the Dates as early as possible—four to six months in advance, and even earlier for destination weddings. This gives guests more time to plan travel arrangements and increases the likelihood of them being able to attend. It's also recommended that official invites for destination weddings are sent out about four months ahead of time, with RSVPs due two months later.

While destination weddings can be a lot of effort for guests to get to, there are ways to mitigate this, such as choosing a location that minimises travel for both sides of the family or giving guests plenty of notice so they can plan ahead.

There's a risk of damaging relationships with uninvited family members

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and one of the most challenging aspects is creating the guest list. When it comes to destination weddings, the issue of whether to invite extended family becomes even more complex. While some couples may opt for a destination wedding to intentionally limit their guest list, there is a risk of damaging relationships with uninvited family members. Here are some considerations to keep in mind:

Family Dynamics and Relationship Impact

Destination weddings can be exclusive by nature, and not inviting certain family members may strain relationships. Before finalising your guest list, evaluate the potential impact on your family dynamics. Consider whether your relationship with uninvited family is repairable and if you'll be seeing them at future family gatherings. Excluding certain relatives may create long-lasting resentment and negatively affect your bond with them.

Financial Constraints and Guest Expectations

Weddings are expensive, and destination weddings even more so. When deciding whether to invite extended family, consider your budget constraints. Be mindful that some relatives may expect an invitation, especially if they have attended other family weddings. Not receiving one could lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Evaluate your guest list in light of your financial limitations and be prepared for potential backlash from uninvited family members.

Communication and Transparency

Effective communication is crucial when dealing with uninvited family members. Be compassionate and considerate of their feelings, and try to explain your decision gently. It's essential to confront the situation directly and express that you wanted to include everyone but had to make tough choices due to budget or venue constraints. Be honest about the finality of the guest list while remaining sensitive to their emotions.

Alternative Ways of Inclusion

If you're unable to accommodate all family members at your destination wedding, consider alternative ways to include them. You could host a separate celebration, such as a backyard cookout or a cocktail party, specifically for those who couldn't attend the main event. Another option is to invite them virtually by setting up a webcam or live-streaming the ceremony so they can still participate remotely. These gestures can help ease any tensions and make uninvited family members feel valued.

Managing Pushback and Emotional Blackmail

Uninvited family members may react with disappointment, anger, or even emotional blackmail. It's important to stand your ground and politely decline any pushy attempts to secure an invitation. Don't give in to invite fishing or allow yourself to be pressured into changing your guest list. While it's natural to want to avoid conflict, remember that it's your wedding, your budget, and ultimately, your decision. Be firm yet empathetic in your response to minimise the risk of damaging relationships.

It's hard to plan a destination wedding from afar

Planning a wedding is a complex process, and adding the logistical challenges of a destination wedding can make things even more difficult. Here are some reasons why planning a destination wedding from afar can be hard:

Language Barriers and Time Differences

Planning a wedding in a different location often involves dealing with language barriers and time zone differences. These factors can make each step of the planning process more challenging and time-consuming.

Impatience with Vendors

When planning a destination wedding, couples may need to adopt a more relaxed attitude and go with the flow. Vendors in certain locations may have a more relaxed perspective, and being impatient with their response times may not be productive.

Legal Requirements and Paperwork

Different countries have different legal requirements for marriages, including residency requirements, waiting periods, and specific documents. It is important to research these requirements well in advance to ensure that all necessary paperwork is in order.

Cost and Budgeting

The cost of a destination wedding can vary widely depending on location, guest count, and personal preferences. Creating a detailed budget that includes travel expenses, accommodations, and wedding-related costs is crucial. Unexpected expenses, such as shipping costs and baggage fees, should also be considered.

Guest Accommodations and Travel Arrangements

Helping guests with travel arrangements and providing a range of accommodation options is an important aspect of planning a destination wedding. This includes recommending hotels at different price points, providing clear information on transportation options, and arranging group discounts if possible.

Cultural Sensitivity and Local Customs

Respecting and embracing the local culture of the destination is essential. Incorporating local customs, cuisine, and traditions into the wedding celebration adds authenticity and fosters a sense of cultural appreciation.

Weather Patterns and Contingency Plans

Considering the weather patterns of the chosen destination and having a backup plan for inclement weather is crucial, especially for outdoor ceremonies. Ensuring guest comfort by providing shade, fans, or heaters, depending on the climate, is also important.

Communication and Updates

Keeping guests informed throughout the planning process is essential. Regular updates through a wedding website or emails can help guests stay informed about travel requirements, local customs, and other important details.

Marriage Licenses and Passports

Understanding the requirements for obtaining a marriage license in the chosen destination is crucial. Additionally, ensuring that passports and other travel documents are up to date is important to avoid any last-minute issues.

Venue Selection and Site Visits

Selecting a venue for a destination wedding can be challenging, especially if the couple is unable to visit the location beforehand. It is important to research potential destinations thoroughly and consider climate, seasonality, and local customs to find the ideal backdrop for the wedding.

Wedding Planner or Coordinator

Hiring a local wedding planner or coordinator who has in-depth knowledge of the destination and can navigate language barriers can be a game-changer. They can handle logistical details, recommend trusted vendors, and ensure that the wedding day goes smoothly.

There's a chance of a low attendance rate

There's a chance that a destination wedding will have a low attendance rate. This is mainly due to the costs involved for guests, which can include travel, accommodation, and time off work.

A study by Bankrate found that 56% of Americans believe it is in poor taste for a couple to plan a destination wedding. The same study also found that nearly 20% of people have declined invitations to destination weddings, with cost being the main reason for not attending.

While some guests may be able to afford the costs associated with attending a destination wedding, others may not be able to, or may not feel comfortable spending that amount of money. This can result in a lower attendance rate compared to a local wedding.

Additionally, destination weddings can be more difficult for guests to attend due to the travel required. This is especially true for guests who have young children or other caregiving responsibilities, as well as those who may not be able to take time off work.

It's important to consider the financial and logistical constraints of your guests when planning a destination wedding. While it's understandable that not everyone will be able to attend, it's crucial to be understanding and respectful of your guests' decisions.

Some ways to mitigate the potential for low attendance include choosing a location that is convenient for the majority of your guests, giving guests plenty of advance notice, and understanding if guests are unable to attend.

Frequently asked questions