Responding To E-Vites: Wedding Edition

When it comes to responding to an email wedding invitation, it's important to strike a balance between grace and etiquette. Whether the invitation is formal or informal, your response sets the tone for your participation in the wedding. Here are some key considerations to keep in mind when crafting your reply:

- Promptness: It is courteous to respond as soon as possible. This allows the couple to plan accordingly and shows respect for their efforts.

- Matching the Style: Whether the invitation is traditional or modern, casual or formal, your response should align with its style.

- Clarity and Respect: Regardless of the response method (email, phone, or mail), ensure your reply is clear and respectful. Mention your name, whether you plan to attend, and any guests you may bring if allowed.

- Declining Politely: If you need to decline, express regret and thank the couple for their invitation. It's not necessary to provide a detailed explanation for your absence.

- Attention to Details: Double-check the date, venue, and other important information. Avoid assumptions about details not mentioned in the invitation.

- Personal Touch: Add a congratulatory note or a sincere expression of excitement, especially when responding informally.

RSVP as soon as possible

It is important to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible. This is a courteous thing to do and will help the couple with their planning. They will need to finalise their numbers, create a seating plan and confirm their budget before the big day.

If you are responding via email, carefully type in the host's email address, double-checking for typos. Keep your response short and sweet, simply letting the host know whether or not you will be able to attend. You do not need to go into detail or explain your reasoning. Be polite and formal, using proper spelling and grammar, and include your contact information so that the host can easily reach you if needed.

If you are unable to attend, a short note is still necessary. You do not need to provide a reason, but you can choose to do so, especially if you are close with the couple. A polite decline may look something like this:

> "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Richards,

> Thank you for inviting us to celebrate with you. We regret that we will not be able to attend your wedding on June 6th. Best wishes, David and Rebecca Smith."

If you are responding for a group, be sure to include the total number of attendees, along with their names and any requests. For example:

> "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Richards,

> Thank you for inviting us to attend the marriage of your daughter, Hannah. We are honoured to be included in the celebration and look forward to seeing you at the ceremony on Saturday, June 15th at St. Mary's Church in Little Rock.

> The following 4 people will be in attendance:

> David Smith (vegetarian meal)

> Rebecca Smith

> Junior Smith

> Michelle Smith"

If you are attending, you can also keep your response brief and formal:

> "Dear Sally and George,

> Harry and I are so excited to attend your wedding on June 3rd, 2022. Kind regards, Harry and Claire O'Kiely."

Or, if the invitation is more informal, you can be more casual:

> "Hi guys! So excited for your special day! Of course, we'll be there! Can't wait to see Claire walk down the aisle to the man of her dreams. See you on Friday for a celebratory drink. Big hug, Samantha and Alyssa."

Don't request a plus one

When responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to be mindful of the couple's wishes and budget. If you are invited without a plus one, it's best not to request one. Here are some tips on how to gracefully decline the invitation or accept it as a solo guest:

Be Mindful of the Couple's Budget and Wishes

The decision to offer plus ones is often influenced by the couple's budget and venue capacity. Respect their decision and understand that they may have financial constraints or a specific vision for their wedding day.

Respond Promptly and Politely

It is important to respond to the wedding invitation as soon as possible. This allows the couple to plan accordingly and make any necessary adjustments to their guest list. When responding, be polite and formal, using proper spelling and grammar. Include a positive message even if you are declining the invitation, and express gratitude for being invited.

Decline Gracefully Without Requesting a Plus One

If you are unable to attend the wedding, send a short and polite note expressing your regrets. You can choose to provide a reason for your decline, especially if you are close with the couple. Here is an example:

> "Dear [Couple's Names],

Thank you so much for inviting me to your wedding. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it, but I wish you all the best. Congratulations on this exciting milestone! Best wishes,

[Your Name]"

Accept as a Solo Guest

If you are invited without a plus one and are happy to attend solo, simply respond enthusiastically and confirm your attendance. There is no need to bring up the absence of a plus one. Here is an example:

> "Dear [Couple's Names],

I am so excited to celebrate your special day with you! I gladly accept your kind invitation and look forward to witnessing your love. See you soon!

Best wishes,

[Your Name]"

Remember, the couple has carefully considered their guest list, and your presence at their wedding is already a joy for them. By responding promptly and respectfully, you are helping them tremendously in their wedding planning journey.

Be mindful of children

When responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to be mindful of whether or not children are invited. Here are some tips and examples to help you navigate this aspect gracefully:

• Check the invitation carefully: Pay close attention to how the invitation is addressed and any additional information provided. If the invitation includes your children's names or specifies "and family," it's safe to assume that children are invited. However, if the invitation is addressed only to you and your partner, it's likely a child-free event.
• Clarify with the hosts: If you're unsure whether children are included, don't hesitate to reach out to the couple or the wedding organisers. It's better to ask for clarification than to make assumptions. Send a polite email or message to confirm, especially if you need to arrange childcare or travel plans.
• Respect the couple's wishes: Remember that the couple has the right to decide whether they want children at their wedding. If the invitation indicates an adults-only event, respect their wishes and make the necessary arrangements for your children's care during that time.
• Respond promptly and clearly: Once you know whether you can bring your children, respond to the invitation promptly. Let the hosts know the exact number of attendees, including the names and ages of your children, if applicable. This information is crucial for their planning, especially regarding seating and catering arrangements.
• Be considerate of the venue and other guests: Keep in mind that some venues may have age restrictions or limited space, making them unsuitable for children. Additionally, consider the comfort and enjoyment of other guests. If you do bring your children, ensure they are supervised and well-behaved throughout the event.

Examples of how to respond regarding children:

Accepting with children:

> "Dear [Couple's Names],

We are delighted to accept your invitation to celebrate your special day. [Number] of us will be attending, including our children, [Children's Names] who are [ages]. We look forward to sharing this joyful occasion with you.

Best wishes,

[Your Names]"

Declining due to child care:

> "Dear [Couple's Names],

Thank you for inviting us to your wedding. Unfortunately, we won't be able to attend as we are unable to secure childcare for that date. We hope you understand, and we wish you all the best for a memorable celebration.

Sincerely,

[Your Names]"

Accepting without children:

> "Dear [Couple's Names],

We are thrilled to accept your kind invitation. However, please note that we will be attending without our children as we understand this is an adults-only event. We look forward to a wonderful evening.

Warm regards,

[Your Names]"

Remember, when in doubt, it's always best to clarify with the couple or organisers to ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Follow the host's instructions

When responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to follow the hosts' instructions. This ensures your response isn't lost and that the hosts can easily plan and prepare for their big day. Here are some tips to help you follow the hosts' instructions when responding to a wedding invitation via email:

Check the Invitation

Before you start drafting your email response, carefully read through the wedding invitation. Look for any specific instructions or requests from the hosts. They might specify how they would like you to respond, such as by email, phone, or mail. If they request an email response, use the email address provided in the invitation. This address is likely dedicated to wedding responses, making it easier for the hosts to keep track of replies.

Respond Promptly

It's important to respond to the wedding invitation as soon as possible. Wedding planning can be stressful, and your prompt response will help the hosts immensely. It gives them enough time to plan and make arrangements, especially regarding seating and catering. Responding quickly is courteous and ensures you don't forget to reply later.

Include All Relevant Details

In your email response, be sure to include all the information requested by the hosts. This typically includes the number of guests attending, meal choices or dietary restrictions, and any other special instructions mentioned in the invitation. If you are unable to attend, it is still considerate to send a quick response, and you may include a gift from their registry if you wish.

Follow RSVP Etiquette

When responding to the wedding invitation, follow the standard RSVP etiquette. This includes providing your full name(s), your response (attending or not attending), the total number of guests, and any other specific details requested by the couple. If you are accepting the invitation, a gracious note expressing your enthusiasm for the event is always appreciated. If you need to decline, a simple "no" is sufficient, and it is considerate to include a brief explanation if appropriate.

Use Proper Formatting

When responding via email, use proper formatting to ensure your message is clear and polite. Use proper spelling and grammar, and include your contact information so that the hosts can easily reach you if needed. Keep your response concise and positive, even if you are unable to attend.

By following these tips, you can ensure that you are respectfully following the hosts' instructions when responding to a wedding invitation via email. Your timely and thoughtful response will be greatly appreciated by the happy couple!

Respond with the appropriate level of formality

When responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to match the level of formality in the invitation itself. This will depend on your relationship to the couple, as well as the nature of the wedding and the invitation. Here are some tips for responding with the appropriate level of formality:

Formality of the Invitation

If the invitation is highly formal, with elegant stationery and perhaps a pre-stamped envelope for returning an RSVP card, your response should match this formality. Write your reply on nice stationery, using proper spelling and grammar, and include your contact information. Address the couple using their full names and titles, and express your pleasure at accepting their kind invitation. For example:

> Ms. Mahoney and Mr. Jameson accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Andrews to the wedding reception of their daughter Johanna and Mr. Hannes Yuval on Sunday, March 17th at 2:00 pm.

Informality of the Invitation

On the other hand, if the invitation is more informal, such as a WhatsApp message from a close friend, you can be more casual in your response. It's still important to respond promptly and express your excitement, but you can be more genuine and personalised in your reply. For example:

> Yay! So excited you're getting hitched. Of course I will be there. My plus one will be Tom.

Formal Response to Informal Invitation

However, just because an invitation is informal, it doesn't mean your response has to be. If you feel more comfortable with a formal response, go for it! You can still add a personal touch or a cute congratulatory note. For example, you could send a sweet note on a nice card, such as:

> Dear Sally and George, Harry and I are so excited to attend your wedding on June 3rd, 2022. Kind regards, Harry and Claire O’Kiely.

Informal Response to Formal Invitation

Conversely, if you receive a formal invitation but want to respond in a more informal way, make sure you still include all the necessary information. You can be more relaxed in your tone and add some well-wishes or a personal message. For example:

> Dear Mick and Katie, Georgina and I are so happy for you and can't wait to be part of the festivities on July 4th, 2023. Best wishes, Sally and Georgina Oppenheim

In all cases, remember to respond as soon as possible, include all requested details, and express gratitude and positivity, even if you are unable to attend.

Frequently asked questions