George Boyle
Wedding invitation etiquette has evolved over the years, and while there are no fixed rules, there are some considerations to keep in mind. Traditionally, the bride's parents were listed first on the invitation as they were often the primary financial contributors to the wedding. However, modern weddings often involve multiple sets of parents or even the couple themselves as hosts, making the invitation wording more complex. In such cases, it is essential to consider the preferences of all parties involved and make decisions that reflect the level of formality desired for the wedding.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Who should be listed on the wedding invitation | The individuals hosting the wedding are typically listed first on an invitation. This is a formal etiquette indication of who is shouldering the majority of the financial burden of the wedding. In traditional marriages, the role of hosts has fallen to the bride's parents, but now it is not uncommon for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to be the hosts of the wedding and therefore listed first on the invitation. |
| How to list parents on the invitation | In formal invitation etiquette, the parents are listed with the titles Mr. and Mrs. and the first, middle and last names of the father are spelled out. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wayne Adamson or Doctor and Mrs. Thomas Wayne Adamson. |
| How to list divorced parents on the invitation | In the case of divorced parents, the mother's name is listed first. For example, Cynthia Adamson along with Thomas Adamson. If either parent has remarried, the mother's name is still listed first, but the spouses can be included if preferred: Mr. and Mrs. Roger Inman. |
| How to list deceased parents on the invitation | If the individual wishes to include the name of a deceased parent, it is important not to use wording that implies that the deceased is issuing the invitation. For example, Doreen Louise Michaels, daughter of Mrs. Marvin Gadsden Michaels and the late Mr. Michaels. |
| How to list parents when the bride and groom are paying for the wedding | A modern take is for the hosts of the wedding not to be specified on the invite or for the invitation to come directly from the couple themselves. For example: "Together with their families, BRIDE & GROOM request the pleasure of your company at their wedding." |
| How to list parents when the bride's parents are paying for the wedding | "Mr. & Mrs. Bride's Parents request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter... BRIDE & GROOM... son of Mr. & Mrs. Groom's Parents." |
| How to list parents when both parents are contributing equally | Both sets of parents should be listed by name at the top of the invitation as the hosts. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents invite you to the wedding of their children, Bride and Groom." |
What You'll Learn
- The bride's parents are traditionally the hosts and therefore listed first on the invitation
- The groom's parents are not usually included on traditional American wedding invitations
- Both sets of parents can be included on the invitation if they are contributing equally
- The bride's parents' first names and surnames are mentioned, but only the bride's first and middle names are included
- The couple themselves may host and send out invitations
The bride's parents are traditionally the hosts and therefore listed first on the invitation
The wedding invitation is a formal affair, steeped in tradition and etiquette. The wording of the invitation is important and can be a delicate matter, especially when it comes to listing the names of those involved. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding and, as such, are listed first on the invitation. This is a formal indication that they are shouldering the majority of the financial burden of the wedding.
In this instance, the invitation might read: "Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's Parents] request the honour of your presence at the wedding of their daughter, [Bride], to [Groom], son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's Parents], on [date]." This traditional phrasing makes clear the role of the bride's parents in hosting the event and inviting the guests, while still acknowledging the groom's parents.
However, times are changing, and it is now common for multiple sets of parents or even the couple themselves to host the wedding and be listed first on the invitation. This can become tricky when multiple sets of parents are involved or when both the parents and the couple are contributing financially. In these cases, it is important to use your best judgement and consider the preferences of your family. It is recommended that the couple be as considerate as possible to those helping with the wedding plans and always err on the side of graciousness, showing appreciation for the love and support of their family.
For example, a more modern invitation might read: "Together with their families, [Bride] and [Groom] request the pleasure of your company at their wedding." This phrasing includes all parents without specifically listing them and indicates that the couple themselves are also hosting the event. Ultimately, the couple should decide on the wording that they feel is best and communicate this decision to both sets of parents.
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The groom's parents are not usually included on traditional American wedding invitations
The wedding invitation is a delicate matter, often causing drama and conflict between families. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding, and therefore the only names to appear on the invitation. This is because, in the past, the bride's parents were expected to pay for the wedding, with the understanding that the groom and his family would support the couple after the big day.
However, times have changed, and it is now common for the groom's parents to contribute financially to the wedding, or for the couple to pay for it themselves. This shift has led to a change in invitation etiquette, and it is now acceptable to include the names of both sets of parents on the invitation, especially if both are contributing financially.
Some people still prefer to stick to the traditional format, however, and this can cause conflict, as seen in the example of one couple's parents, who were arguing over whose names would appear on the invitation, with the bride's parents insisting on following the traditional format, and the groom's parents feeling offended and slighted.
If both sets of parents are contributing equally, then it is generally considered proper etiquette to include both on the invitation, with the bride's parents' names listed first. This can be done in several ways, such as:
- "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents & Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents invite you to the wedding of their children, Bride and Groom"
- "Together with their parents [bride's parents' names] and [groom's parents' names], Bride and Groom invite you..."
- "Together with their families, Bride and Groom invite you to their wedding"
Ultimately, the decision on how to word the invitation rests with the couple, and it is important to communicate this decision to both sets of parents and make sure everyone understands that this is what the couple wants.
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Both sets of parents can be included on the invitation if they are contributing equally
When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, the host of the wedding is typically the person or people paying for the majority of the celebration. Traditionally, this role has fallen to the bride's parents, but nowadays it is not uncommon for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to host and be listed first on the invitation.
If both sets of parents are contributing equally to the wedding, it is appropriate and common to include both on the invitation. This can be done in a few ways. One option is to list both sets of parents as hosts, followed by the bride and groom: "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents invite you to the wedding of their children, Bride and Groom". Another option is to include a line under the groom's name which says "son of Mr. and Mrs..", recognising the contribution of the groom's parents. This implies that although the bride's parents are hosting, the groom's parents are also contributing.
Including both sets of parents on the invitation is a way to be inclusive and recognise the support of both families, while still honouring the role of the bride's parents in the event. It is important to consider the feelings of all involved and to make a decision that reflects the contributions of both families.
Ultimately, the couple should make the final decision about the wording of their wedding invitations and communicate this to both sets of parents. It is their wedding, and it is important that the invitations reflect what they think is right.
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The bride's parents' first names and surnames are mentioned, but only the bride's first and middle names are included
When it comes to wedding invitation wording, there are many options to consider, especially when it comes to including the names of the bride's and groom's parents. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you craft the perfect invitation when the bride's parents' first and last names are mentioned, while only the bride's first and middle names are included:
Host of the Wedding
The host of the wedding is typically the person or couple paying for the majority of the celebration. While modern couples often pay for their weddings, traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and therefore are mentioned on the invitation. When the bride's parents are hosting, their first and last names are included, followed by "request the honour of your presence" or "request the pleasure of your company" at the marriage of their daughter. Here is an example:
> Dustin and Margaret Schultz
> request the pleasure of your company
> at the marriage of their daughter
> Sara Marie
> to Troy Higgins Clark
> on Saturday, the twelfth of September
> two thousand twenty-seven
> at six o'clock in the evening
> Northern Lights Garden
Formal and Casual Wording
The level of formality of the wedding can influence the invitation wording. For a formal wedding, the traditional line "request the honour of your presence" is used, especially if the ceremony is in a house of worship. For a casual wedding, a more informal tone can be used, such as including the first names of the bride's parents and omitting titles like "Mr." and "Mrs." Here is an example of casual wedding invitation wording:
> Samuel and Mindy Peters
> the families and friends of
> Matthew John Masterson
> for the ceremony and celebration
> on Saturday, the twelfth of September
> two thousand twenty-seven
> at three o'clock in the afternoon
> Northern Lights Garden
Religious Wording
If the couple is having a religious wedding, the invitation wording can reflect this. Including a line like "our joy will be more complete if you can share in the marriage of our daughter" adds a heartfelt touch. Here is an example of religious wedding invitation wording:
> Our joy will be more complete
> if you can share in the marriage
> of our daughter, Sara Marie
> to Troy Higgins Clark
> on Saturday, the twelfth of September
> two thousand twenty-seven
> at six o'clock in the evening
> to worship with us and witness their vows
>
> Jonathan and Emma Neilson
Holiday Wedding Wording
If the wedding is taking place during the holiday season, the invitation can incorporate festive themes. Beginning with a line like "As this season begins, we have a special reason to celebrate", sets a cheerful tone. Here is an example of wedding invitation wording for a holiday wedding:
> As this season begins
> we, Jefferson and Louisa Hinke
> have a special reason
> to celebrate with family and friends
> You are invited to share the joy as our daughter
> Michael Joseph Stromm
> are joined in marriage
> on Saturday, the twelfth of September
> two thousand twenty-seven
> at five o'clock in the evening
> 1232 Snowflake Drive
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The couple themselves may host and send out invitations
In the modern day, it is not uncommon for the couple themselves to host their wedding and send out invitations. This is especially true when the couple is paying for the majority of the wedding.
When the couple is hosting the wedding, the invitation is sent out in their names. For example, "Bride and Groom invite you to their wedding". If the couple wants to acknowledge the financial contributions of their parents, they can add a line such as "Together with their families".
If the couple is hosting the wedding, but one set of parents is contributing significantly more than the other, it is still customary to list both sets of parents on the invitation. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents invite you to the wedding of their children, Bride and Groom".
It is important to note that the invitation wording should reflect the level of formality of the wedding. For a very formal wedding, traditional wording may be more appropriate.
Additionally, different cultures have different traditions regarding wedding invitation wording. For example, in many European countries, each set of parents is printed in the two top corners of a folded wedding sheet, while Middle Eastern weddings often have both sets of parents listed at the top.
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Frequently asked questions
The parents of the bride and groom are usually included in the wedding invitations. The individuals hosting the wedding are typically listed first on an invitation. In traditional marriages, the bride's parents are the hosts and are thus listed first. However, it is now common for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to host and be listed first.
If the bride's parents are the ones paying for the wedding, then they are considered the hosts and are listed first on the invitation. The groom's parents can still be included in the invitation, but their names would follow the bride's.
If both sets of parents are contributing equally, then both should be listed as hosts and their names should appear at the top of the invitation. There are different ways to word this, but a common format is: " [Bride's parents' names] and [Groom's parents' names] invite you to the wedding of their children, [Bride's name] and [Groom's name]."
If the couple is paying for the wedding themselves, they can choose to omit the parents' names and have the invitation come directly from them. For example: "Together with their families, [Bride] and [Groom] invite you to their wedding."
