Attending Weddings: To Go Or Not To Go?

Wedding invitations are a crucial part of wedding planning, providing guests with essential information and setting the tone for the big day. The invitation suite includes various components, such as the invitation card, response card, and envelope. It is important to include key details such as the date, time, and location of the ceremony and reception, as well as RSVP and dress code information. The invitation should also indicate who is hosting the wedding, with names listed accordingly. This guide will cover everything you need to know about wedding invitations, from traditional elements to optional additions, ensuring you create elegant and informative invitations for your guests.

Who is hosting the wedding?

The host of a wedding is usually the person or people who are paying for the event. Traditionally, this would be the bride's parents, but nowadays, it is more common for multiple people to chip in. In this case, it is appropriate to write "together with their parents" or "together with their families" on the invites.

The host is also responsible for other duties such as greeting guests, selecting vendors, handling issues that arise, and making sure everything is taken care of. It is important to note that paying is not the sole criterion for being a host. The host also has a say in decision-making, greeting people, and other hosting duties.

If the wedding is hosted at someone's home, it is customary to acknowledge them as the host, even if they are not paying for the event. In the case of a couple paying for and planning the wedding, they are considered the hosts, and their names would be included in the invitation.

Who is invited?

The wedding invitation is the first line of defence when it comes to delivering important details to guests. The invitation should cover the who, what, when, and where of the nuptials.

The invitation should begin by listing the host(s) and inviting your guests. If the bride and groom are hosting, their names can be listed first, followed by the invitational lines. It is traditional to include the first and middle names of the couple, but it is also acceptable to omit the middle and/or last names. The day of the week and the date are traditionally written out in full, but in many contemporary invitations, these are abbreviated or written as numerals.

The invitation should also detail the wedding location and starting times. It is not necessary to include additional start times for other events, such as the cocktail hour and reception, if they are taking place on the same day and location. In this case, simply stating "reception to follow" is sufficient. If the reception is at a different venue, include a separate reception card with the start time and address.

The invitation should also include the names of the people getting married. For heterosexual couples, the woman's name typically goes first, but couples can order their names however they prefer. LGBTQIA+ couples may order their names alphabetically, by age, or however, they choose.

Finally, the invitation should include an RSVP deadline and method, as well as the wedding website address.

When and where is the wedding?

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to include the "who, what, when, and where" of the nuptials. Here are some tips to help you provide your guests with all the necessary information about the timing and location of the wedding:

Date and Time:

It is essential to include the date and time of the wedding ceremony on the invitation. Avoid latecomers by clearly stating the start time, and be sure to specify the time of day (a.m. vs. p.m.) to avoid any confusion. It is considered more formal to write out the time rather than using numerals (e.g., "four o'clock in the afternoon"). If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, you can simply add "Reception to follow" or "Celebration to follow."

Ceremony and Reception Location:

Provide the name and address of the wedding venue(s) so that guests know exactly where they are going. If the ceremony and reception are at different venues, include a separate reception card with the start time and address. If the wedding is in a unique or rural location, consider including a custom map or directions card to guide your guests.

Timing and Logistics:

Traditionally, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. Save-the-date cards can be sent out earlier, especially for destination weddings, to allow guests to make travel arrangements. The RSVP deadline is typically set for two to three weeks before the wedding date to allow time for finalizing the headcount and seating arrangements.

Additional Timing Considerations:

When planning the timing of the wedding and related events, consider any unique circumstances or cultural traditions that may impact the schedule. For example, in some cultures, the evening may be considered to start earlier or later than the standard definition of 6 p.m.

In summary, providing clear and detailed information about the timing and location of the wedding is crucial for ensuring your guests can attend and enjoy the celebration without confusion or delay.

What is the dress code?

The dress code for a wedding is usually specified on the invitation, on a separate information card, or on the wedding website. It is important to specify the dress code so that guests know what is expected of them in terms of attire.

White Tie or Full Evening Dress: This is the most formal wedding dress code. Men typically wear long-tail tuxedos, while women wear full-length ball gowns.

Black Tie: This usually indicates an evening wedding where men wear tuxedos with black bow ties, and women wear formal floor-length gowns. It is important to note that "black tie" does not mean one must wear black.

Black Tie Optional: This means that guests are encouraged to wear black-tie attire, but it is not mandatory. Men can opt for a dark suit with a shirt and tie instead of a tuxedo, while women can choose a floor-length gown, knee-length cocktail dress, pantsuit, or dressy separates.

Lounge Suit or Semi-Formal: This indicates a slightly less formal setting than black tie, suitable for a daytime wedding. Men can wear a classic suit or tux with a tie, while women can opt for formal evening wear, such as floor-length dresses or evening pantsuits.

Jacket & Tie: This dress code allows men to wear a sports jacket, suit jacket, or blazer with chinos and a tie. Women should wear a cocktail dress that is shorter than floor-length, a pantsuit, or dressy separates.

Cocktail Attire: This dress code encourages guests to dress a step above smart casual. Women can wear dresses of any length above floor-length, while men can wear a suit with an optional tie or a sports jacket and dress shirt.

Smart Casual: This dress code aims for a neat, yet relaxed look. Men can wear dark denim, chinos, or suit pants with a shirt, while women can opt for a skirt or smart trousers.

When specifying the dress code, it is essential to consider the venue and time of the wedding. For example, if the wedding is taking place on a beach or in a garden, guests should be advised to choose appropriate footwear. Similarly, if the wedding is held at a country club with a specific dress code, this information should be communicated to the guests.

It is worth noting that some sources suggest that it is considered rude to specify a dress code on a wedding invitation, except for black-tie events. In such cases, it is recommended to include dress code information on the wedding website or spread it by word of mouth.

How do guests RSVP?

As a guest, you should RSVP for a wedding as soon as you know whether or not you can attend. It is perfectly acceptable to RSVP before the deadline listed on the invitation—in fact, the sooner you accept or decline, the better. This is because the couple will be able to get an idea of the final guest count as soon as possible. If you have a physical RSVP card, it is recommended to drop it in the mail about a week before it is due.

The absolute latest that guests should RSVP by is about two weeks before the event. By that time, the couple will need to share a final guest count with their wedding caterer, venue and other vendors. If you wait too long to RSVP, you will cause more work for the couple as they will have to personally follow up, and if they can't track down your response, they may eventually assume you're not coming to the wedding.

If you are the couple getting married, it is recommended that you send your invitations out between six and 10 weeks before your wedding date. This will give your guests enough time to make travel arrangements if necessary. If you leave too much time between when the invitations are sent and the RSVP date, you run the risk of your guests putting it off and forgetting.

Your RSVP deadline should ideally be three to four weeks before your wedding. This is because your wedding vendors, such as your caterer, will require a final guest count before the big day.

Frequently asked questions