Best Man's Guide To Speech Giving

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it's also a big responsibility. One of the key duties of the best man is to deliver a speech at the wedding reception. This is a chance for the best man to say a few kind words about the couple and their friendship with the groom. While it's not mandatory for the best man to give a speech, it is customary and the couple may be disappointed if he doesn't.

Best man speech structure

Being the best man at a wedding is a big deal and a huge honour. It comes with a lot of responsibility, from organising the stag do to safeguarding the rings to offering assistance and support. But the part that most people will remember is your speech. Here is a guide to help you structure it.

Plan Ahead

Give yourself plenty of time to write your speech—at least one month. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, things can get hectic, so it's good to get a head start.

Kick things off with a light-hearted icebreaker or a joke. This will warm up the guests and calm your nerves. It will also set a friendly tone for the rest of your speech. You might be the best man, but not everyone will know who you are, so be sure to introduce yourself. Share how you met the groom to establish your connection with the audience, especially those who may not know you well.

Messages from Afar

Read out messages from friends and family who couldn't attend the wedding. This is a lovely gesture and will be meaningful to the couple and those who sent their well-wishes. You can also add a funny twist by making up some fake messages from celebrities or notable figures.

Story Time

Share some amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom and the couple. This is the key section of your speech. You want to take the audience on a journey of your friendship and give an overview of who the groom is as a person. If you know him from school, walk down memory lane with some childhood stories. You can also use props like a slideshow of photos or a theme if he is known for always wearing the same outfit.

Words of Wisdom

Offer some light-hearted yet sincere advice for the newlyweds. If you are married, you and your partner could share some golden rules for a happy marriage. If not, you could ask the couple's family and friends for their tips.

Compliments to the Couple

Take a moment to compliment the couple and reflect on your favourite things about their relationship. You can also add a memory of when you knew they were destined to be together.

Acknowledge the Bridal Party

Thank the bridesmaids for their role on the day and everything they've done in the lead-up to the wedding.

Final Toast

Conclude your speech by raising a glass to the couple. Wish them happiness and invite all the guests to join in.

Timing

The sweet spot for a best man's speech is around seven minutes. Any longer, and people may start to lose interest. You don't want to rush through it either, so take your time and enjoy the moment.

Things to Avoid

• Inappropriate anecdotes or stories about exes.
• Long-winded stories—keep things concise and to the point.
• Relying solely on humour—it's okay to be sentimental and share how you truly feel.
• Upstaging the newlyweds—keep the focus on the couple and don't try to steal the show.
• Embarrassing yourself with alcohol—limit your drinks before the speech to avoid slurring or forgetting what you wanted to say.

How to open a best man speech

Giving a best man speech can be daunting, but it's also an honour and a chance to shine. Here are some tips on how to open your speech and capture the audience's attention from the start:

Plan and Practice:

Before crafting your opening line, it's essential to plan and practice your entire speech. Give yourself ample time, at least a month, to write and rehearse. The weeks leading up to the wedding can be hectic, so it's best to start early. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend, and consider recording yourself to refine your delivery. Remember, confidence comes from preparation!

Know Your Audience:

Keep in mind that your audience will include people of different ages and backgrounds, such as the couple's grandparents, colleagues, and friends. Tailor your content and humour to suit a diverse crowd. Avoid inside jokes or inappropriate anecdotes that might make certain guests uncomfortable.

Break the Ice:

Begin your speech by stepping onto the dance floor and welcoming the crowd. Introduce yourself as the best man and express gratitude. Thank the couple's parents, the newlyweds, and the guests. You can also thank the bartender for a good laugh or add a one-liner to break the ice. This sets a friendly and appreciative tone.

Be Creative:

Get creative with your opening line to grab the audience's attention. Here are some ideas:

• Twist the traditional introduction by adding a humorous twist, such as "I'm [name], and it's time for me to deliver this speech I scribbled down about an hour ago."
• Make a quick-witted joke, such as setting "house rules" for the audience: "If you have a mobile phone, keep it switched on for entertainment. And if anyone texts you good jokes, forward them to me!"
• Pretend you printed the speech off the internet: "It's a pleasure to stand here as the best man. Oh wait, I was supposed to edit that part out before I printed it off..."
• Compliment yourself: "Gorgeous, loyal, charming, handsome... but today isn't about me. Now, let's talk about [groom]."
• Wish the couple well with a touch of humour: "My only wish for this wonderful couple is that each day of their marriage is better than the previous, so they can look back on their wedding day and say it was the worst day of their lives."
• Make a light-hearted joke about the wedding cost: "Thank you for having me as your best man. I didn't really want to do it, but I thought it might be my only chance to get a free meal and drinks, so I didn't risk turning it down."

Focus on the Couple:

While it's essential to include anecdotes about your friendship with the groom, don't centre the whole speech on it. Remember, the focus should be on celebrating the couple's relationship. Share a story or two about the groom, but then shift the attention to the newlyweds. Talk about how they met, their unique dynamics, and how the bride has positively influenced the groom.

Remember, the key to a successful best man speech is a combination of humour, sincerity, and a genuine celebration of the happy couple. With planning, creativity, and practice, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and engaging speech.

Best man speech content

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties is delivering a memorable wedding speech. While it can be a daunting task, especially if you're not used to public speaking, with some planning and practice, you can deliver a speech that will wow the guests. Here are some tips and ideas to help you craft the perfect best man speech.

Planning Your Speech

Start by giving yourself plenty of time to write your speech. It's recommended to begin at least a month in advance, as the weeks leading up to the wedding can get hectic. Outline the key points you want to cover and then fill in the details. Keep the speech short and sweet, aiming for around 3-7 minutes. Remember, you don't want to bore the guests or take up too much time during the reception.

Opening Your Speech

Begin your speech by welcoming the guests and introducing yourself as the best man. You can break the ice with a light-hearted joke or a well-chosen one-liner. This will warm up the audience and help calm your nerves. You could also express gratitude to the couple's parents, the guests, and the happy couple for having you there.

Talking About the Groom

Share how you met the groom and how long you've known each other. Include a funny anecdote or story that sums up the kind of person he is. If possible, link this story to his partner to make it more meaningful. Talk about his positive qualities and the moments that showcase his bond with his partner. If appropriate, you can also include some playful roasting, but always keep it friendly and respectful.

Focusing on the Couple

While it's great to share stories about your friendship with the groom, don't centre the whole speech on it. The focus should be on celebrating the couple's relationship. Talk about how they met and share a story that epitomises their connection. If you can, include a moment when you realised their partner was "The One" for the groom. Emphasise how happy you are for your friend and how the couple complements each other.

Offering Advice and Compliments

If you're married or have some words of wisdom to share, offer some light-hearted yet sincere advice to the newlyweds. You can also include a compliment for the bride, praising her beauty or the positive impact she has had on the groom.

Concluding Your Speech

Finish your speech by raising a glass to the couple and offering them your warmest congratulations and best wishes for the future. You can include a personal, witty, or heartfelt toast to their lifetime of happiness.

Things to Avoid

• Inappropriate anecdotes or stories that are too risqué. Keep the speech PG-rated, as there will be guests of all ages present.
• Any mention of ex-partners or previous relationships.
• Long-winded stories that may cause the audience to lose interest. Keep your stories concise and to the point.
• Too much focus on yourself. While it's fine to share stories about your friendship with the groom, don't make the speech all about you.
• Relying solely on humour. It's great to include some jokes, but also share your genuine feelings and well-wishes for the couple.

Practising and Delivery

Practise your speech several times beforehand. Read it out loud to yourself and consider recording yourself to refine your delivery. While you don't have to memorise every word, it's a good idea to know your speech well so you're not constantly reading from notes. Keep your alcohol intake to a minimum before the speech to avoid slurring or losing your train of thought.

Remember, the best man speech is a chance to celebrate the couple and share your unique perspective on their relationship. With the right planning, a positive attitude, and some practice, you'll be able to deliver a speech that the guests will remember fondly.

Best man speech delivery

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a big responsibility. The best man's speech is a time-honoured tradition and a chance to entertain wedding guests with an endearing and amusing toast. It's also an opportunity to shine a unique light on the couple's relationship and celebrate their love story. Here are some tips to help you deliver an outstanding best man speech.

Structure

A well-structured best man's speech will guide guests through an emotional journey while keeping them engaged. Think of your speech as a story with distinct chapters, each serving a specific purpose.

The essential components of your speech should include:

• An introduction (30-45 seconds): Establish your connection to the couple and express gratitude for your role.
• Middle section (4-5 minutes): Share meaningful stories, highlight the groom's character, describe how the couple met, and celebrate their relationship.
• Closing (30 seconds): End with a call to action for the guests, such as a toast to the couple.

Timing

The key to mastering the timing of your speech is to keep your message concise and impactful. The ideal length for a best man's speech is between 3 and 10 minutes, depending on the cultural context and whether you are co-best man. American weddings typically call for a 5-minute speech, British celebrations 7 minutes, and Australian receptions 7 minutes. If you are one of two co-best men, your joint speech should be between 12 and 13 minutes. Individual co-best men speeches should be around 7 minutes each.

Transitions

Smooth transitions between different parts of your speech are crucial. Your speech should flow like a natural conversation, with each topic leading logically to the next. Use connecting phrases and thematic links to avoid abrupt changes. For example, when moving from a funny story to a more serious moment, you might say, "While we've had our share of laughs, what truly stands out about [Groom] is his incredible capacity for caring...".

Opening

Your opening sets the tone for the entire speech. Grab the audience's attention and establish your connection to the couple. Here are some examples:

• "Good evening everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm James, and I've had the privilege of being John's best friend since we accidentally set off the fire alarm in seventh-grade chemistry class."
• "When David asked me to be his best man, I immediately started writing this speech. That was six months ago, and I finished it about twenty minutes before the ceremony. Sorry, David – some things never change."
• "Looking around this room today, I see family, friends, and loved ones all united in celebrating Sarah and Michael. As Michael's best man and brother, I couldn't be more honoured to share this moment."

Stories

The heart of your speech lies in the stories you choose to share. Select anecdotes that reveal the groom's character while entertaining the guests. Here is an example story structure:

• Setup: "Many of you know Tom as a successful architect, but I remember when his biggest construction project was building a pillow fort in our university dorm..."
• Development: "This wasn't just any fort. Tom had blueprints, structural support calculations, and a strict 'no shoes' policy..."
• Payoff: "That same attention to detail and slightly obsessive planning is exactly why Emma fell in love with him – though I'm sure the pillow fort helped."

Delivery

Your delivery can transform good content into an unforgettable speech. Vary your tone and pace to match the content. For example, use a slightly faster pace and strategic pauses for laughter during funny moments. Slow down and add a genuine emotion to your voice when sharing something heartfelt.

Audience Engagement

Reading the room and adjusting your delivery accordingly is crucial for maintaining a connection with your audience. Techniques to engage your audience include scanning different sections of the room, acknowledging reactions naturally, and adjusting your timing based on their responses. Include subtle callbacks to earlier jokes, and feel free to interact directly with the audience by posing a question to them during your speech.

Emotional Moments

Balance humour with genuine sentiment to create touching moments that resonate with everyone present. Start with a light-hearted story, build a connection by sharing observations about the couple, and end with a strong statement about their relationship.

Cultural Considerations

Wedding traditions vary across cultures and regions, so it's essential to understand these nuances when crafting your speech. Some cultures place greater emphasis on formal respect over humour, while religious ceremonies may require additional sensitivity to traditions and values. If it's a multicultural wedding, take time to understand both families' backgrounds and expectations to ensure your speech honours both traditions while remaining accessible to all guests.

Best man speech alternatives

It is customary for the best man to give a speech at a wedding, but this isn't always the case. Here are some alternative ideas for honouring the newlyweds if the best man is uncomfortable with public speaking or if the couple simply wants to do something different:

Give a Joint Speech

If the best man is nervous about speaking, he could give a joint speech with the maid of honour, the bride, or the groom. This takes the pressure off the best man as he won't be the sole focus of the speech.

Change the Speech-Giver

There's no reason why the bride, maid of honour, chief bridesmaid, aunt, uncle, or a close friend can't give a speech instead. Just make sure they include anecdotes about the couple and a nod to the traditional speech givers.

Alter the Timeline

Wedding speeches usually take place right after the wedding breakfast, but you could change that. Perhaps later in the evening, after a few drinks, the best man will feel more relaxed and happy to speak.

Film Friends and Family

A nervous best man might prefer to film friends and family answering a series of questions about the couple ahead of time, such as how they met, how long they've been together, and any advice for married life. This gets lots of guests involved and can make for a really entertaining video.

Put Together a Slideshow

Putting together a slideshow of pictures of the couple over the years is a good alternative to a speech. You'll need about 150 pictures if you want to play it on a continuous loop during the wedding breakfast.

Engage a Storyteller

A professional storyteller can speak with the couple beforehand and weave an epic adventure around their love story, perhaps with friends and relatives as characters in the tale.

Organise a Table Quiz

The best man could MC a short table quiz featuring questions about the newlyweds. This is a fun way to break the ice and involve your guests in the speeches.

Organise an Open Mic

Choose one person who is a confident MC and have them conduct an open mic, inviting guests to speak. This is a great way of making sure everyone who wants to speak gets to contribute, including step-mums and dads who might otherwise be left out of traditional speeches.

Change the Location

If the best man doesn't like the idea of being the centre of attention in a formal wedding setting, do something different. You could have the speeches outdoors, with guests standing, sitting on hay bales, or at picnic tables.

Plan a Performance

If the best man would be happier performing than giving a speech, he could sing, dance, rap, or otherwise entertain the guests. Make sure you record it so the couple can look back on it.

Give a Toast

If the couple isn't interested in giving speeches, they could simply give a toast. This can be as simple as a list of thank-yous and a call to raise a glass.

Frequently asked questions