Best Man's Guide To Wedding Day Duties

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidant throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. The role is usually assigned to the groom's closest friend or family member, but there are no set rules. The best man's duties include planning the stag do, writing and delivering a speech, helping to choose the groomsmen's attire, and keeping the wedding rings safe. They may also be responsible for liaising with vendors, providing emotional support, and acting as master of ceremonies. Ultimately, the best man is there to support the groom and ensure his wishes are fulfilled on his wedding day.

Planning the bachelor party

Talk to the Groom

First, discuss the bachelor party with the groom. Find out his dos and don'ts, and any activities that are off-limits. While a surprise party might be tempting, it's best to at least involve the groom in the basic details like timing, location, and type of activities. Ask for his opinion on your bachelor party ideas to plan a celebration he will truly enjoy.

Finalise the Guest List

Involve the groom in deciding the guest list, which typically includes the groomsmen and any other close friends or family members. Get the groom's sign-off on the list and ensure that all attendees are also invited to the wedding.

Discuss the Budget

With the guest list decided, discuss what each person can realistically contribute to the bachelor party budget. Consider sending a Google form or informal group text to gauge everyone's budget and their willingness to spend on travel or activities. Remember that the groom's expenses are usually covered by the group, so factor that into the overall cost.

Pick a Theme or Party Style

Determine the type of party your crew is on board with. Would they prefer an adventure-packed weekend trip or a more relaxed evening at home or a local bar? The general vibe will influence the party location, so be sure to get input from everyone.

Choose a Date and Location

By now, you should have a good idea of the groom's preferences and the group's interests, making it easier to select a date and location. Try to find a time that works for the groom and the majority of the crew, ideally about two months before the wedding. If possible, avoid scheduling the bachelor party the night before the wedding, as the last thing the groom needs is a hangover or additional stress on his big day.

Book Travel and Accommodations

With your guest list and party style in mind, proceed to book the necessary travel arrangements and accommodations like flights and rental homes. Ensure you get confirmation from everyone in your group before booking to avoid any financial surprises.

Finalise Activities

Nail down any remaining reservations, such as booking a restaurant for a group dinner or securing tickets for an event. Popular bachelor party activities include golf outings, pool days, comedy shows, brewery tours, and sporting events. Don't forget to include some downtime in the itinerary for your guests to relax.

Confirm Attendees and Share the Itinerary

A few weeks before the party, check in with the group to confirm attendance and get a final guest count. Create a detailed timeline of activities, including important details such as hotel name and address, arrival times, and everyone's contact information.

Pack and Travel

Start packing in advance, and don't forget to bring any decorations or party supplies. As the host, plan to arrive at the party location earlier than the rest of the guests to handle any last-minute setup or preparations.

Regroup and Say Thanks

After the celebrations, send a quick thank-you note to the group, expressing your appreciation for their time and presence in honouring the groom. This is also a good time to follow up on any outstanding expenses.

Remember, while the best man usually handles most of the bachelor party planning, it can be a group effort involving all the groomsmen. Don't hesitate to delegate tasks and seek suggestions from the crew to make the planning process more manageable and enjoyable.

Being the groom's right-hand man

The role of the best man is to be the groom's right-hand man, offering support and assistance in any way possible before and during the wedding. The best man is also in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and spearheading their activities and duties.

In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man is the go-to person for the groom, acting as a confidante and helping to coordinate with vendors, select venues, and offer opinions on other details. The best man also helps to organise the bachelor party and is often in charge of holding the wedding rings during the ceremony.

On the day of the wedding, the best man's role is to support the groom in every possible way, from helping him get dressed to reminding him to take a moment to breathe. The best man also helps the groomsmen get ready and ensures everyone is where they need to be at the right time.

The best man is also responsible for delivering a speech during the reception, which should be well-crafted and focus on the newlyweds and their love story. The best man may also be called upon to act as a master of ceremonies, introducing key players and making sure the party goes to plan.

In terms of attire, the best man is in charge of helping the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles. This might include gathering measurements, giving the group an order-by deadline, or placing the order.

The best man is also often expected to attend pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, shower, and rehearsal dinner, as well as the ceremony rehearsal.

Other duties of the best man may include:

• Signing the marriage license as a witness
• Helping to collect gifts
• Decorating the getaway car
• Returning any rented attire
• Checking in with vendors to ensure all expenses are handled

Holding the wedding rings

It is important to ensure that the rings are stored safely and securely before and during the ceremony. The best man should triple-check his pockets to ensure they are secure and not at risk of falling out or being lost. If the wedding rings are placed on a pillow, the best man should ensure that they are securely fastened to the pillow, especially if a ring bearer is involved.

The best man will hand over the rings when the officiant tells him to. This is usually part of the ceremony and often occurs after the officiant has blessed the rings.

In some cases, the groom may hold onto his own ring, or the best man may hold one ring while the maid of honour holds the other. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide who they trust to hold their wedding rings.

Giving a best man speech

So you've been chosen as the best man for your friend or brother's wedding—congratulations! Now it's time to start thinking about one of the most important and memorable parts of your role: the best man's speech. Giving a best man's speech can be a thrilling but nerve-wracking experience. Here are some instructions to help you craft and deliver a speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons.

Start by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the groom. It's a simple way to begin and helps to engage the audience, especially if they don't know you well. You can then move on to sharing a few anecdotes about the groom, perhaps telling stories from when you first met or recounting some of his most memorable adventures. Keep the stories appropriate; you want to paint the groom in a positive, funny light, so avoid any tales that might embarrass him or offend the guests.

The best man's speech is also an opportunity to welcome the bride into your friend group, so be sure to include her in your anecdotes, too. Share a story about the first time you met her, or speak about how the groom has changed for the better since meeting her. It's a nice way to involve her in your speech and show that you're happy to welcome her into your lives.

When it comes to writing your speech, aim for a good mix of humor and sincerity. It's fine to poke fun at the groom a little, but also remember to speak from the heart. Share your wishes for their future together and perhaps include a quote or a piece of advice for a long and happy marriage. It's a nice touch to include a toast to the newlyweds, too, so don't forget to invite the guests to raise their glasses to the happy couple.

Practice your speech beforehand so that you feel comfortable and confident on the day. It's a good idea to time yourself to ensure your speech isn't too long; around five minutes is usually ideal. Speak clearly and not too fast, and remember to project your voice so that everyone can hear you. Most importantly, enjoy the moment. It's an honor to be chosen as the best man, so savor the experience and the special role you get to play in your friend's wedding day.

Wrangling the groomsmen

• Communicate clearly and frequently: Be open and forthcoming with your groomsmen about your expectations for the bachelor party and other pre-wedding events. Provide them with a timeline of when certain things need to be ordered and when they need to be present at different events, such as fittings, the engagement party, wedding shower, and bachelor parties.
• Schedule fittings in advance: This is especially important if your groomsmen aren't all in the same city. Once you've decided on the style of menswear, schedule a time for your crew to get together for a fitting or direct them to menswear shops in their area to get their measurements.
• Be considerate of their circumstances: Remember that being a groomsman comes with inherent costs and time commitments, so be understanding if someone isn't available or needs to opt out of certain activities.
• Offer to help with costs: Groomsmen will be shelling out a decent amount of money, so it's a nice gesture for the groom to offer to cover certain costs, such as a shave and haircut on the morning of the wedding, or to provide gifts that match the personalities of his friends.
• Keep them informed: Ensure the groomsmen have all the information they need, such as the contact details of relevant vendors, wedding planners, and family members.
• Make it fun: While there are a lot of responsibilities involved, being a groomsman is also about celebrating the groom and creating lasting memories. Organise fun activities for the groomsmen to bond and let loose, such as a game night or an outdoor adventure.

By following these tips, you'll be well on your way to successfully wrangling your groomsmen and ensuring that everyone has a positive and enjoyable experience.

Frequently asked questions