Rsvp Etiquette: Multiple Cards In Wedding Invites

Sending out wedding invitations can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to navigating the intricacies of RSVP cards. The number of RSVP cards to include in each invitation is a question many couples face, and it's important to get it right to ensure smooth planning for your big day.

Wording and etiquette

The wording of your wedding invitation is important as it provides all the essential details about your wedding, from the full names of the couple to the dress code. The wording you choose can also indicate the level of formality of your wedding. Here is a line-by-line breakdown of the etiquette to follow when it comes to wedding invitation wording:

Host Line: The opening line of a wedding invitation usually names the hosts of the event, typically the people paying for the wedding. The wording will vary depending on who is hosting, whether it be one or both sets of parents, the couple and their parents, or just the couple themselves. If the couple is hosting, this line can be omitted.

Attendance Request: This line invites guests to join the wedding celebration. Traditionally, formal wording such as "request the honour of your presence" was used to denote a formal religious ceremony, whereas modern celebrations tend to use more casual language such as "invite you to join" or "please join us to celebrate."

Couple's Names: The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger, prominent text. For heterosexual couples, the bride's name traditionally comes before the groom's. For same-sex couples, the wording of the host line may dictate the order, or the couple can decide based on their preference.

Date and Time: For formal invitations, the date and time are usually spelled out in full, e.g., "Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four." For modern invites, numerical figures are often used, e.g., "Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 pm."

Location: Include the name and full address of the wedding venue, especially for destination weddings or out-of-town guests.

Reception Details: If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, you can simply state "reception to follow." If the reception is elsewhere, include the full address on a separate details card tucked in with the main invitation.

Dress Code: Including dress code information is optional but helpful for guests. This can be mentioned in the lower corner or bottom centre of the invite, or on a separate details card.

RSVP Information: Most couples include a separate response card for guests to fill out and return. You can also provide the option of RSVPing via a wedding website. Include the website address on a separate card, just like an RSVP card, and indicate that guests can confirm their attendance there.

• Be concise: Avoid overloading your invites with text, as it can take away from the design and cause guests to miss important information.
• Consider the host: Traditionally, wedding invitations include the name of the person(s) hosting and paying for the wedding. Nowadays, this may not always be the parents of the bride, but it is respectful to list anyone contributing to the wedding, either by name or with a line like "together with their families."
• Consider formality: The wording you choose should correlate with the formality of the occasion. If you want a black-tie affair, opt for traditional wording, whereas if you prefer a casual wedding, feel free to use modern and playful phrasing.
• Include insert cards: Certain pieces of information don't belong on the wedding invitation itself, such as registry details. Provide guests with a link to your wedding website on a separate insert card, along with any other details that don't fit on the invitation, such as dress code advice or backup venue information.

Timing

Sending Invitations

It is recommended that formal wedding invitations be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to plan and make any necessary travel arrangements. For destination weddings, it is suggested to give guests even more time by sending invitations 12 weeks in advance.

Setting an RSVP Deadline

The RSVP deadline should be set around three to four weeks before the wedding date. This allows the couple and their vendors to finalise any last-minute details that depend on the total guest count, such as food quantities and seating arrangements.

Reminding Guests to RSVP

It is a good idea to remind guests to RSVP about a week before the deadline. This can be done in person, over the phone, or online. A gentle reminder will help ensure that you receive timely responses and reduce the need to track down delinquent guests.

Receiving RSVPs

By setting the RSVP deadline two weeks before the wedding, you will have time to follow up on any late responses and provide your caterer with an accurate headcount. This timely information will be crucial for the final preparations for your big day.

Destination Weddings

For destination weddings, it is recommended to set an earlier RSVP deadline of two months before the wedding. This is because guests will need more time to arrange flights and accommodations. Sending invitations four months in advance will give guests ample time to make their travel plans.

In conclusion, timing is essential when it comes to wedding invitations and RSVPs. Sending invitations and setting RSVP deadlines at the appropriate times will help ensure a smooth planning process and reduce last-minute stress.

Online RSVPs

Firstly, online RSVPs streamline the entire process, from sending out invitations to tracking responses and managing your guest list. You can create a custom event registration page or use a dedicated event management platform. These platforms often offer customizable templates, making it easy to match your wedding theme and style.

Secondly, online RSVPs can help you gather detailed information from your guests. With customizable forms, you can collect information such as meal preferences, dietary restrictions, and expected arrival times. This level of detail will help you immensely with your wedding planning, especially when coordinating with vendors.

Thirdly, online RSVPs are often preferred by guests. It is more convenient and quicker for guests to respond online, and it eliminates the need for them to use snail mail. You can include the RSVP link on your wedding website or even on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram.

When creating your online RSVP system, ensure you include the following:

• A blank line for guests to fill in their names and the names of their guests.
• A clear area for guests to indicate their attendance or regrets.
• Meal choices, if applicable, especially if you are offering different entrée options.
• The RSVP deadline, which should be around three to four weeks before your wedding date.

Finally, don't forget to promote your online RSVP system! Include clear instructions on your wedding invitations, and consider sending out reminders to your guests as the deadline approaches.

Plus ones

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to be clear about who is invited to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings. This is especially important when it comes to plus ones. Here are some tips and suggestions for handling plus ones on your wedding invitations and RSVP cards:

Make it Clear on the Invitation:

Firstly, be explicit about who is invited. If a guest has a plus one, be sure to write "and Guest" on the envelope or include their name if you know it. If you're inviting a couple but not their children, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs." rather than "The Family".

Specify the Number of Guests:

On the RSVP card, you can indicate the number of guests invited by writing something like, "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour". You can also be more direct and write, "We have reserved ___ seat(s) for you/your family". This makes it clear that only a certain number of people from each invite are expected to attend.

Online RSVP Options:

If you're using an online RSVP system, there are a few ways to handle plus ones. One option is to create a "Guest" profile linked to the invited guest's profile, so they can accept or decline on behalf of their plus one. Another option is to add a plus one section to the RSVP page, where the invited guest can provide the name of their plus one.

Follow Up:

If you're concerned about guests adding extra plus ones, you can follow up with them after receiving their RSVP. Gently explain that due to budget constraints, you cannot accommodate unknown plus ones. Most guests will understand and appreciate your honesty.

Be Consistent:

It's important to maintain consistency throughout your wedding planning. If you're only inviting spouses and long-term partners as plus ones, ensure this is clear on both the invitation and RSVP card. If you're happy for all single guests to bring a plus one, be sure to communicate this clearly as well.

Remember, the key to avoiding confusion is clear and tactful communication. By being explicit about who is invited and how many guests are expected, you can avoid any awkward conversations later on.

Allergies and dietary requirements

It is important to accommodate guests with dietary restrictions and allergies. Here is some advice on how to do so when sending out wedding invitations and RSVP cards:

Ask About Allergies and Dietary Requirements on the RSVP Card:

Include a line on the RSVP card asking guests to specify any food allergies or dietary restrictions. This will allow you to make informed decisions when selecting food options for your wedding. You can also encourage guests to reach out to you via phone or email to discuss their dietary needs further.

Work with Your Caterer:

After gathering information about your guests' dietary restrictions, collaborate with your caterer to create a suitable menu. Caterers are experienced in accommodating various diets and can help you craft a menu that satisfies everyone. They can also advise on preventing cross-contamination between dishes.

Serve Allergen-Free Options:

During cocktail hour, offer a variety of hors d'oeuvres, including vegan and vegetarian options, as well as dishes without common allergens like nuts, dairy, or gluten. This ensures that guests with allergies or dietary restrictions have safe options to enjoy.

Label Buffet-Style Food:

If you're having a buffet, clearly label each dish with its ingredients and dietary suitability (vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.). This helps guests with dietary restrictions make informed choices and feel confident about the food they are selecting.

Notify Your Venue and Caterer in Advance:

Give your venue and caterer ample notice about your guests' dietary requirements. This allows them to plan and source the necessary ingredients to accommodate everyone. Provide them with a final headcount and table plan to ensure smooth service on your big day.

Choose an Accommodating Venue or Caterer:

When selecting a venue or caterer, inquire about their ability to handle dietary restrictions and allergies. Ask about their experience, flexibility, and the options they can provide for guests with specific needs. This will help you choose a vendor who can confidently meet your guests' dietary requirements.

Provide Alternative Drinks:

Remember that dietary restrictions may also apply to drinks. Offer alternatives like gluten-free beer and egg-free cocktails. Provide non-alcoholic options and soft drinks for those who prefer them or have restrictions on alcoholic beverages.

Be Mindful of Children:

Children with dietary restrictions may feel left out if they can't enjoy the same treats as other guests. Ask your caterer to prepare special desserts or snacks for them, ensuring they feel included and satisfied.

Keep Communication Open:

If you're unsure about a guest's dietary needs, don't hesitate to reach out and ask for more information. They will appreciate your consideration, and you'll feel more confident about meeting their needs.

Remember, your guests will appreciate a substantial meal that accommodates their dietary requirements, and anything beyond that is a bonus. By following these tips, you can ensure that your guests with allergies and dietary restrictions feel welcomed and well-catered for at your wedding.

Frequently asked questions