Objections In Weddings: Can The Ceremony Continue?

The prospect of someone objecting during a wedding ceremony is enough to strike fear into the heart of even the most confident couple. But can weddings go on if someone does object?

The good news is that it's now very rare for someone to object during a wedding ceremony. In fact, the phrase speak now or forever hold your peace is now rarely used by officiants. However, if someone does object, the officiant will usually pause the ceremony and ask the objector to explain their reasons privately. If the objection is not legally valid—for example, if it's based on personal reasons or sentiments—the officiant can choose to proceed with the ceremony.

If the objection is legally valid—for instance, if one of the parties is already married or the couple is closely related—the wedding would be halted. However, most legally valid objections are caught during the wedding planning stage, when the couple applies for a marriage license.

So, while it's possible for a wedding to continue if someone objects, it depends on the nature of the objection and the couple's wishes.

What to do if someone objects

If someone objects to the marriage, it is important to remember that this is a rare occurrence and is usually done as a joke. However, if it does happen, there are a few things that can be done to handle the situation.

Firstly, the officiant will usually pause the ceremony to allow the objector to articulate their concerns. This can be done privately with the couple or the officiant can address the concern directly. If the objection is not valid, the officiant can choose to ignore it and continue with the ceremony.

If the objection is valid and has legal merit, such as one of the parties being already married or closely related by blood, then the wedding may be halted. In this case, the officiant will need to assess the grounds and validity of the objection.

The couple may also choose to take a moment to gather themselves and decide if they want to continue with the ceremony. If they decide to proceed, the officiant can make a brief apology for the interruption and thank everyone for their support.

To prevent potential objections, it is advisable to address any legal or personal issues ahead of time. This includes checking that both parties are legally able to marry and resolving any personal conflicts with guests.

It is also important to note that objections should be based on legal grounds and not emotional or moral reasons, as these do not hold legal power to prevent a marriage.

What to do if you want to object

If you want to object to a wedding, it's important to understand the implications and the potential consequences of doing so. Wedding objections are rare, but they can cause considerable emotional distress and disrupt the ceremony.

Firstly, it's crucial to understand the difference between a legal objection and an emotional one. A wedding objection must have a valid legal basis to be considered. This could include one of the parties being already married, not being of legal age to marry without consent, or if the couple is closely related by blood. Personal grievances, romantic declarations, or emotional pleas are not considered valid legal grounds and do not hold the power to prevent a marriage.

If you have a legal reason to object, it is best to speak to the couple in private before the wedding. Express your concerns respectfully and directly. Chances are, they will be more open to hearing you out in a calm and respectful setting. If they choose to proceed with the wedding despite your objection, you can notify the proper authorities or discuss the matter with the courthouse that issued the marriage license.

If you have an emotional objection, it is unlikely to carry any weight in stopping the wedding. In this case, it is best to respect the couple's decision to marry and refrain from causing a disruptive scene during the ceremony.

In any case, it is always advisable to handle the situation with extreme care and to consider the potential impact of your actions on the couple and the guests.

The history of wedding objections

The tradition of allowing wedding objections has its roots in the 12th century, when the Catholic Church began soliciting objections during wedding ceremonies. The purpose was to ensure that a couple's union was legal and permissible. At the time, there were no bureaucratic processes or databases to keep track of people's details, so the community played a crucial role in ensuring the legality of marriages. This practice was later adopted by other branches of Christianity, such as Anglicanism, Catholicism, and Eastern Orthodox Christianity.

The phrase "should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace" was introduced in the 1549 marriage liturgy section of the "Book of Common Prayer" for Anglican marriages. This phrase, or variations of it, became a standard part of wedding ceremonies, giving guests the opportunity to voice any objections or concerns.

The main reasons for wedding objections were to prevent illegal or unlawful marriages, such as bigamy, underage marriage, coercion, or marriages between closely related individuals. In the past, women had limited rights, especially regarding property ownership. By objecting to a marriage, it was possible to help prevent the transfer of property to a man who might later be revealed to be a bigamist or fraud.

Today, the tradition of asking for wedding objections is mostly a relic of the past. Couples are now required to obtain a marriage license that verifies the legality of the union before the wedding ceremony. Many officiants have also chosen to omit the "speak now or forever hold your peace" phrase to avoid potential interruptions. While objections are rare, they can still occur, and it is up to the officiant to decide how to handle the situation, often by pausing the ceremony to address the objection privately.

Legal reasons to object

In the context of a wedding, a legal objection must pertain to a lawful impediment to the marriage. This could include:

• One or both parties being currently married to someone else. In the United States, it is legally only possible to be married to one person.
• Close blood relations between the couple. Most states have banned marriage between close relatives, and in many states, it is illegal to marry a first cousin.
• One or both parties being underage without parental consent.
• One or both parties having made vows of celibacy or commitment to a religious body.
• One or both parties being coerced into the marriage.

In modern times, most of these legal issues are addressed when the couple applies for a marriage license, so it is rare for a wedding to be halted due to a legal objection.

The social consequences of an objection

The couple may feel a sense of embarrassment or humiliation, while guests may experience awkwardness and uncertainty about how to react or provide support. The objection can become a central topic of discussion, causing further discomfort for the couple and the attendees. Depending on the nature and validity of the objection, it may also affect relationships moving forward. Those close to the couple may feel resentment or hostility toward the objector, straining familial or social bonds. In severe cases, the objection may even impact the couple's relationship, especially if it brought to light previously unaddressed issues.

In some cases, the social consequences of an objection can be positive. For example, in one instance, the bride's estranged father stood up to object, not to stop the wedding, but to apologise for his absence and offer his blessing. This emotional moment brought the room to tears and ended in a heartwarming father-daughter dance at the reception.

Frequently asked questions