Asking For Cash Wedding Gifts: Is It Okay?

Asking for cash as a wedding gift can be a tricky topic to navigate. While some couples may feel uncomfortable discussing their preference for monetary gifts, it is becoming increasingly acceptable to do so. In fact, according to The Knot's 2023 Wedding Registry Study, cash funds, often in the form of honeymoon funds, are among the most popular registry items today. So, if you're wondering whether it's appropriate to ask for cash as a wedding gift, the short answer is yes, as long as it's done politely and with consideration.

It's not rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift

Asking for cash as a wedding gift is not considered rude. In fact, according to The Knot's 2023 Wedding Registry Study, cash funds are some of the most popular registry items today, especially for honeymoon funds. Personal finance expert Farnoosh Torabi notes that "cash registries provide couples with purchasing power and money they can pool and apply towards bigger goals and experiences they truly want".

Monetary wedding gifts are also common across different cultures. For example, in Korean weddings, guests present envelopes of money to the parents of the couple, who then pass it on to the newlyweds. Similarly, at Chinese weddings, the bride is given monetary gifts in red envelopes symbolising good luck.

There are several ways to politely ask for cash gifts. One way is to create a cash fund wedding registry, where guests can contribute to specific goals such as a honeymoon or a new home. You can also add gift cards to your registry from your favourite restaurants, stores, or travel companies. It's important to note that you shouldn't ask for money directly on your wedding invitations. Instead, include a link to your wedding website on your invites, where guests can find more information about your registry and preferences.

Another option is to ask your family members and close friends to spread the word about your preference for cash gifts. Be specific about how you'll use the money, whether it's for a honeymoon, home improvements, or a new home. This helps guests feel more connected to your plans and makes it more personal. You can also set up a card box at the reception for guests who prefer to give cash or cheques.

Remember, it's not rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift as long as you do it politely and respectfully. Communicating your wishes clearly and giving guests options will ensure everyone feels comfortable and happy.

How to ask for cash on your wedding website

It is becoming more common and acceptable to ask for cash as a wedding gift, especially if you already have everything you need to start your life together. Here are some tips on how to ask for cash on your wedding website:

Use a Cash or Honeymoon Registry Website

Use a cash registry website such as Honeyfund or Zola to create a registry for anything from honeymoons to home improvement projects. You can also choose to donate to your favourite charity. This allows guests to make financial contributions to you in a way that is better received than simply asking for cash.

Indicate How the Cash Will Be Spent

Letting your guests know how you plan to spend their monetary gifts can make them feel more connected to you and your plans. For example, if you are saving for your dream honeymoon, include an image of the location on your wedding website. Or, if you are saving for your first home, let your guests know that their gift will be helping to put a roof over your head.

Ask Your Family Members and Close Friends to Spread the Word

Make sure your family and friends know that you would prefer cash gifts, and encourage them to spread the word. Guests may ask them what to buy you, and they can suggest that guests contribute to your savings fund instead.

Be Specific About How You'll Use the Cash

Cash or cheques can feel impersonal, so letting your guests know where the money will go can make them feel more connected to your plans. If you are in the middle of a big project, such as renovating your home, let your guests know on your wedding website. You can also add a more personal touch by sharing the story of how the project started and any pitfalls you've faced along the way.

Word Your Wedding Website Thoughtfully

Use your wedding website to explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. Attaching your cash gift request to a specific goal will help gift-givers feel like their money will be more meaningful. For example, you could say: "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon fund."

How to ask for cash via word-of-mouth

While it is generally considered okay to ask for cash as a wedding gift, it is important to do so politely and tastefully. Here are some tips on how to ask for cash via word-of-mouth:

Inform your close family and friends about your preference for cash gifts:

Let your parents, siblings, and members of your wedding party know that you would prefer cash gifts. Explain to them the reason behind your preference, whether it's for a honeymoon, a new home, or another financial goal. Encourage them to spread the word discreetly and tactfully among other guests. This way, if attendees have questions about gift ideas, your close circle can let them know your preference without putting you in an awkward position.

Weave your story and personal touch when asking for cash:

If you feel uncomfortable directly asking for money, try weaving in your personal story and sharing your plans for the funds. For example, you could say, "We're saving for our dream honeymoon to [destination] and would be so grateful for any contributions toward making our trip even more special." This approach helps guests understand your intentions and feel more connected to your plans.

Emphasize that their presence is the most important gift:

When expressing your preference for cash gifts, always remember to convey that their attendance and celebration of your special day are the most valuable gifts. You could say something like, "Your presence at our wedding means the world to us, and if you wish to give a gift, we would be incredibly grateful for a contribution toward our [honeymoon/new home/financial goal]." This approach ensures that guests know their presence is valued above any material gifts.

Provide a range of options for monetary gifts:

While you prefer cash gifts, some guests may still want to offer physical gifts or gift cards. To accommodate different preferences, you can suggest alternatives such as gift cards to your favourite restaurants, stores, or online brands. You can also mention specific gift cards related to your financial goals, such as homeware or hardware store gift cards if you're saving for a new home or home improvements.

Designate a safe place for cards and monetary gifts at the reception:

Some guests may prefer to bring their monetary gifts to the wedding reception. Set up a designated area, such as a ""wishing well" or a card box, where guests can securely leave their envelopes containing cash or cheques. This ensures that your guests feel comfortable with their gifting choice and that you have a safe place to keep track of all the monetary donations received.

Remember, when asking for cash gifts, it's essential to be respectful, gracious, and mindful of your guests' feelings. By using these word-of-mouth strategies, you can tactfully convey your preferences and ensure that your guests feel valued and appreciated.

Why you shouldn't ask for cash on your wedding invitations

While it is acceptable to ask for cash as a wedding gift, there are some important reasons why you shouldn't make this request on your wedding invitations. Here are some considerations to keep in mind:

It May Be Considered Impolite or Greedy

Including a request for cash gifts on your wedding invitations can be seen as impolite or greedy. Traditional wedding etiquette dictates that registry information, including requests for monetary gifts, should not be included on the invitations themselves. Asking for gifts on the invitations can shift the focus away from the celebration of your wedding day and may leave a negative impression on your guests.

It's Not the Best Way to Communicate Your Wishes

Your wedding invitations are primarily about inviting guests to share in your special day. Including a request for cash gifts may detract from the main purpose of the invitation and may not be the most effective way to communicate your wishes. Instead, you can provide a link to your wedding website on the invitation, where guests can find more information about your preferences.

It May Make Guests Uncomfortable

Some guests may feel uncomfortable with a direct request for cash gifts on the wedding invitations. They may feel pressured or obligated to contribute financially, even if they cannot afford to do so. By not including the request on the invitations, you allow guests to make their own decisions about gifts without feeling undue pressure.

It May Not Reach All Guests

Not all guests will visit your wedding website or be aware of your gift preferences. Relying solely on the invitation to convey your request for cash gifts may result in some guests being unaware of your wishes. Using multiple communication channels, such as word-of-mouth through close friends and family or including a separate insert card with your invitation, can help ensure your message reaches a wider audience.

It May Not Align with All Cultures and Traditions

Different cultures and traditions have varying views on giving monetary gifts at weddings. While cash gifts are common in some cultures, others may have different gift-giving customs. By not including the request on your invitations, you respect the diversity of your guest list and allow guests to give gifts in a way that aligns with their own traditions.

It May Be Perceived as Presumptuous

Asking for cash gifts on your wedding invitations can be perceived as presumptuous or entitled. It may give the impression that you are expecting gifts from your guests and that their presence at your wedding is not enough. By omitting the request from your invitations, you allow guests to decide how they want to celebrate and honour your special day.

How to politely ask for cash

While it may be considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift, it is not. In fact, according to The Knot's 2023 Wedding Registry Study, cash funds are some of the most popular registry items today. However, there are some polite and tactful ways to ask for cash instead of traditional wedding gifts. Here are some suggestions:

Create a Cash Fund Wedding Registry

This is a great way to ask for money without directly asking your guests. Cash registries provide couples with the freedom to spend the money as they wish while also allowing guests to contribute to specific goals, such as a honeymoon or a new home.

Use a Honeymoon or House Deposit Fund

Setting up a specific fund for your honeymoon or a house deposit is a polite way to ask for cash gifts. It gives guests a clear idea of what their contribution will be used for, making it more personal and meaningful.

Ask Your Family and Friends to Spread the Word

Informing your close circle about your preference for cash gifts is a subtle way to get the message across. Chances are, guests will approach your family and friends for gift ideas, and they can tactfully suggest contributing to your savings fund for a honeymoon, home renovation, or any other specific goal.

Be Specific About How You'll Use the Cash

Letting your guests know your plans for the cash gifts makes their contribution feel more meaningful and personal. Share your goals on your wedding website or through word of mouth. For example, you could say, "We're saving for our dream honeymoon," or "We're working towards a down payment on our first home."

Designate a Place for Cards at the Reception

Some guests may prefer to give you a congratulatory card with cash or a check inside at the wedding. To accommodate these guests, set up a designated box for cards and monetary gifts at the reception, often called a "wishing well."

Word Your Wedding Website Thoughtfully

Your wedding website is an excellent place to explain your preference for cash gifts and how you plan to use the funds. You can say something like, "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. However, if you wish to give something, we would greatly appreciate contributions towards our [insert specific fund]."

• "We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund."
• "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but should you wish to give a gift as well, a cash gift to put toward our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated."
• "We've lived together for a while, and we really don't need anything new. But if you were thinking of a small wedding gift, some money for our future would be wonderful."

Frequently asked questions