“Plus One” Wedding Woes: Decoding The Invitation Lingo

A plus one at a wedding refers to an additional guest or date, usually a spouse or romantic partner, brought to a wedding by an invited guest. It could also be someone assisting an older family member or a friend of a guest. While there are no set rules, standard wedding etiquette suggests that married, engaged, or cohabiting guests, as well as members of the wedding party, should receive a plus one. Other factors to consider include the wedding budget and venue capacity.

Who should get a plus one?

When it comes to wedding planning, deciding who gets a plus one can be a daunting task. While there are no hard and fast rules, there are some traditional guidelines and best practices to follow. Here are some tips to help you determine who should get a plus one:

Married, Engaged, and Cohabitating Guests

It is customary to extend a plus one invitation to guests who are married, engaged, or living together. This is considered a "package deal", even if you are closer to one half of the couple than the other or haven't met the spouse before.

Members of the Wedding Party

It is also common courtesy to offer a plus one to members of the wedding party, such as bridesmaids and groomsmen. This is a way to show appreciation for their commitment and support throughout the wedding planning process.

Out-of-Town Guests

Guests who are travelling from out of town and may not know many other attendees are often given plus one privileges. This ensures they don't feel out of place or lonely at the wedding.

Immediate Family Members

It is also a nice gesture to offer a plus one to your immediate family members, such as your siblings or close aunts and uncles. This can add an extra touch of warmth and joy to your celebration.

Long-Term or Serious Relationships

Couples who are in a serious or long-term relationship, even if they are not living together, should also be considered for a plus one invitation. This acknowledges their commitment and helps them feel included.

VIP Guests

If you have a very important guest, such as a close friend or family member, who may not know many people at the wedding, consider offering them a plus one. This will allow them to bring a companion and fully enjoy the celebration.

Single Guests Who Know Other Guests

On the other hand, single guests who are part of a friend group or have a circle of friends or family at the wedding may not need a plus one. They will likely feel comfortable and have a good time without a date.

Budget and Venue Constraints

Lastly, it is important to consider your budget and venue capacity when deciding on plus ones. If you have limitations, it is okay to send solo invites to some guests. Be upfront and honest about any restrictions, as it is your special day and you shouldn't feel bad about your decisions.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and ultimately, your wedding day should reflect what you and your partner want. You can choose to be more flexible or strict with your plus one invitations depending on your preferences and circumstances.

Who shouldn't get a plus one?

When it comes to wedding planning, there are no hard and fast rules about who should and shouldn't get a plus-one. However, there are some general guidelines and considerations to keep in mind. Here are some groups of people who typically don't need to receive a plus-one invitation:

• Single guests who are casually dating: If an invited guest has a new significant other or hasn't been in a relationship for a substantial amount of time (usually less than a year), giving them a plus-one is not a priority. Of course, if the budget allows and there are special circumstances, couples may choose to extend the invitation.
• Single guests who know other attendees: If single guests such as siblings, cousins, or close friends will know a decent number of people at the wedding and feel comfortable, there is no pressure to offer a plus-one. They will likely have a good time surrounded by familiar faces.
• Coworkers: Inviting coworkers to a wedding can be tricky. If possible, it's best to either invite all coworkers or none at all, to avoid any drama or hurt feelings. If inviting a small group of coworkers, it's not necessary to give each of them a plus-one, especially if they can sit together and enjoy the wedding as a group.
• New couples or those casually dating: There is no pressure to include new couples or those who are casually dating on the plus-one list. It's up to the couple getting married, but it's generally not expected for someone to bring a Tinder date or a partner they just started seeing to the wedding.
• Guests with a large friend group: If a single guest has a large friend group attending the wedding, they may not need a plus-one as they will have plenty of familiar faces to spend time with.
• Guests with a close-knit social circle: In some cases, a close-knit family or friend circle may not require plus-ones for single guests. If everyone knows everyone else and there are no strangers, single guests can feel comfortable without bringing a date.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and each wedding is unique. The couple getting married should use their best judgment and consider their budget, venue capacity, and the comfort of their guests when deciding who should and shouldn't get a plus-one.

How can a plus one affect the cost of a wedding?

A "plus one" at a wedding refers to an additional guest or date who accompanies an invitee to a wedding. Typically, this is a spouse, romantic partner, or someone assisting an older family member.

Now, how can a plus one affect the cost of a wedding?

Food and Drink

Most areas of a wedding's budget are affected by the number of guests in attendance. Food costs, bar expenses, and venue setup fees can all increase with additional guests. Weddings with buffet-style receptions typically cost $50-$100 per guest, while formal plated dinners are more expensive, ranging from $100-$200 per guest. Surprise plus-ones can lead to unexpected food costs, and at $100 or more a plate, these expenses can add up quickly.

Venue

Some venues have strict accommodation guidelines or guest limits. Unconfirmed plus-ones could lead to additional setup requirements, last-minute event expenses, or additional service fees charged by the venue.

Gifts

If a plus one attends as a guest's date, it is generally expected that they contribute to the gift in some way. However, if the plus one is a stranger to the couple, they are not expected to contribute.

Invitations and Stationery

Ordering extra wedding invitations and stationery can be more cost-effective when ordered in larger batches. A larger guest list, including plus ones, may require a larger initial order, which can be more expensive.

Seating Arrangements

To accommodate plus ones, couples may need to adjust their seating arrangements and consider the personalities and relationships of their guests to avoid unwanted drama. This may require additional seating or table arrangements, which can affect the overall cost of the wedding.

Other Costs

Other potential costs that could be affected by the inclusion of plus ones include favours, chair rentals, and cake size.

In summary, offering plus ones to wedding guests is a generous gesture, as it often means the couple will be incurring additional expenses for each additional guest. From food and drinks to stationery and seating, the costs can quickly add up. Therefore, it is essential for couples to carefully consider their budget and make informed decisions about their guest list and plus one invitations.

How to decide on a plus one invitation list?

Deciding on a plus-one invitation list for your wedding can be a tricky task. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

Start with the Basics

Each additional guest costs money, and your venue has a maximum capacity, so you need to be mindful of your budget and space constraints when deciding on your plus-one list. It's essential to tread carefully and follow some general guidelines to ensure that everyone has a wonderful time on your big day.

Create an "A" List and a "B" List

Create two lists to help you manage your guest list effectively. Your "A" list should include all the must-have guests, such as close family members and friends, and their plus-ones. The "B" list can consist of guests you would like to include if possible, along with their plus-ones. Send invitations to your "A" list first, and if you receive enough declines, you can then invite guests from your "B" list.

Establish Clear Criteria

It's essential to establish clear criteria for who gets a plus-one to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some general guidelines to consider:

• Married, Engaged, and Cohabitating Guests: It is generally considered proper etiquette to invite spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of your guests. Even if you haven't met them personally, it's respectful to acknowledge their union.
• Wedding Party Members: It is courteous to extend a plus-one to all members of your wedding party. This is a way to show your appreciation for their time, support, and efforts in making your special day memorable.
• Out-of-Town Guests: Consider offering plus-ones to guests who are travelling from out of town and may not know many other attendees. This will ensure they feel more comfortable and less lonely during the event.
• Long-Term Relationships: You may also want to offer plus-ones to guests in serious or long-term relationships, especially if you haven't met their partner before. Consider setting a minimum duration for relationships, such as six months, to help you decide.

Be Mindful of Seating Arrangements

When creating your seating plan, be mindful of solo guests and avoid seating them between couples. Instead, place them between outgoing and friendly couples to foster a comfortable and communal atmosphere. This will help solo guests feel more at ease and create opportunities for organic conversations.

Prepare for Requests and Be Responsive

Be prepared for guests who may not receive a plus-one to reach out and ask about bringing a guest. If possible, enquire about the nature of their request. Their relationship status may have changed, or they may have become more serious with their partner since you sent out the invitations. If you have the capacity and it's appropriate, do your best to include their partner. If you can't accommodate their request due to budget or space constraints, respond kindly and firmly, expressing your regret and explaining your limitations. It's best to handle these conversations over the phone or in person rather than via email.

Properly Address Plus-One Invitations

When addressing invitations to guests with a plus-one, there are a few options to consider:

• Include "and Guest": You can address the invitation to "Mr. Harry Styles and Guest" or "Ms. Veronica Corningstone and Guest" if you don't know the name of their plus-one.
• List Names Separately: If you know the name of the plus-one, include it on a separate line below the guest's name, such as "Mr. Shawn Mendes, Ms. Camilla Cabello".
• Provide a Note: Another option is to address the invitation to the guest and add a note at the bottom or on the back, saying, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one".

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to plus-one invitation lists. The most important thing is to consider your budget, venue constraints, and the comfort of your guests. By following these guidelines and using your best judgment, you can create a plus-one list that works for your special day.

Plus one etiquette for guests

Plus-One Etiquette for Guests

Being a plus-one at a wedding comes with certain expectations and rules of behaviour. Here is some advice on how to navigate the dos and don'ts of being a plus-one.

Firstly, it is important to understand that a plus-one is not automatically granted to every wedding guest. Couples planning their wedding have to take into account their budget and venue capacity, which may limit the number of plus-ones they can invite. Therefore, if you are given a plus-one, it is important to be mindful and respectful of the couple's plans and arrangements for their big day.

If you do receive a plus-one invitation, it is essential to respond promptly and provide the name of your guest as requested by the couple. This will allow them to make the necessary arrangements, such as seating charts and reception place cards. Be considerate and avoid making any last-minute changes or demands that may disrupt their plans.

If you are unsure whether your plus-one can attend by the RSVP date, it is best to plan on going alone. This way, the couple won't have to pay for an extra plate that may not be needed. It is also important to understand that a plus-one is usually a date or a romantic interest. However, it could also be a family member escorting an older guest or a friend accompanying a single person.

When it comes to gifting, if you are bringing a plus-one, your gift should reflect that. Generally, wedding gifts are given as a unit, so it is acceptable to purchase one gift from the two of you. However, if your plus-one knows the couple well, they may offer to contribute to the gift. Ultimately, if your plus-one is a near stranger to the couple, you may want to plan on taking care of the gift yourself.

Additionally, if you bring a new partner as your plus-one, find time to introduce them to the couple. It is polite to do so, and it also shows your appreciation for the couple hosting your date.

Lastly, if your invitation does not include a plus-one, do not arrive at the wedding with an uninvited guest. If the person who was supposed to attend with you is unable to come, politely ask the couple if you can bring someone else. Accept their response gracefully, even if it is a "no".

In summary, being a plus-one at a wedding requires you to be mindful of the couple's wishes and plans, respond promptly with your guest's details, and be respectful of their arrangements. By following these guidelines, you can contribute to a memorable and enjoyable celebration for the couple and their loved ones.

Frequently asked questions