Wedding Receptions: What's Allowed And What's Not

Planning a wedding reception is an exciting but challenging task. The average wedding reception lasts between four and seven hours, with five hours being the standard. The length of your reception will depend on various factors, such as the number of guests, whether you opt for a band or DJ, and the dinner service style. A typical reception includes a cocktail hour, seating and bridal party announcements, toasts, the first dance and parent dances, dinner, cake cutting, and the bouquet and garter toss. It's important to create a timeline for your reception to ensure a smooth and enjoyable celebration for you and your guests.

Cocktail hour

Wedding receptions can go ahead, and a cocktail hour is a great way to kick off the party. Typically lasting an hour, it's a time for guests to mingle, enjoy drinks and light bites, and soak in the atmosphere. Here's a detailed guide to help you plan an unforgettable cocktail hour for your wedding reception:

Drinks and Refreshments

The cocktail hour is a great time to offer a variety of drinks to your guests. In addition to the usual wine and beer, you can also serve signature cocktails that reflect your personality and unique relationship. It's also thoughtful to provide non-alcoholic options and plenty of water to keep your guests hydrated. Aim to have multiple drink stations or servers to avoid long lines.

For refreshments, it's customary to serve light appetizers or hors d'oeuvres. Aim for at least five different types of bites, with about two per guest. Passed appetizers or trays of appetizers are common, but you can also set up buffet-style arrangements like food bars or grazing tables. Consider your guests' dietary restrictions and incorporate options like cheeses, charcuterie, fruits, and other allergy-friendly choices.

Ambiance and Decor

The cocktail hour is a great opportunity to set the tone for the rest of the reception. Choose a location that accommodates your guest count and suits the climate—an outdoor cocktail hour might not work in inclement weather. Decorate the space with elegant linens, captivating centerpieces, candles, and other decorative elements to create a relaxed and inviting atmosphere.

Seating Arrangements

While most guests will stand during the cocktail hour, it's a nice touch to provide seating for about 30% of your guests, especially older attendees or those who may need a break. Scatter high-top tables throughout the space and include a few low-seat tables. Chic lounge areas can also add a comfortable and photo-worthy element. Ensure there are enough tables for guests to set down their drinks.

Entertainment

The cocktail hour is a great time for guests to mingle and connect. Consider providing interactive elements like lawn games, a selfie station, or a guest book. Live entertainment, such as a mariachi band, a string quartet, or a live wedding painter, can also add a unique touch. Just remember to keep the volume at a level that allows for conversation.

Timing and Logistics

The cocktail hour typically lasts for about an hour but can be extended, especially if you need more time for photography. If your wedding ceremony and reception are in the same venue, the cocktail hour can begin immediately. However, if there's travel involved, it might start more than 30 minutes later.

During this time, your wedding party can also make their entrance, and you can even choose to have your first dance as newlyweds. The cocktail hour is a great opportunity to capture candid photos with your guests before the reception festivities begin.

Personal Touches

Adding personalized details to your cocktail hour will make it even more memorable. Consider monogrammed cocktail napkins, drink stirrers, or stemless wine glasses with your wedding date or initials. You can also serve a special wine or beer brewed in honor of your wedding and offer bottles as favors for your guests.

By following these tips, your cocktail hour is sure to be a memorable part of your wedding reception, creating a warm and festive atmosphere for you and your guests to enjoy.

First dance

The first dance is a special moment as it's the first time the couple takes to the dance floor together as a married pair. The first dance usually happens after the couple makes their grand entrance to the reception, but it can also take place after dinner or even after the cake-cutting.

The first dance can be a slow, romantic song, or something more upbeat and unexpected. It's entirely up to the couple and what they feel comfortable with. Some couples even opt for an original choreographed dance.

After the first dance, the father of the bride may dance with her, and the groom may dance with the bride's mother. Then, the bride's parents can dance together, followed by the groom's parents. The dance floor is then opened up to the wedding party and, finally, all guests.

Speeches

The father of the bride usually gives a welcoming speech, thanking everyone for attending. The father or parents of the bride may also give a toast as part of their speech, and this can be used to signal the start of the meal.

The best man and maid of honour's speeches are usually given between courses to spread out the high-emotion moments and keep guests in their seats. The maid of honour typically goes first, followed by the best man.

The couple may also want to give a thank-you speech, which can be done at the same time as the parents' speeches or after the meal.

Toasts

Toasts are a crucial part of the wedding reception and are usually given by the father of the bride, best man, and maid of honour. Toasts are not the same as speeches and should be kept short and sweet, with a focus on the newlyweds.

Timing

Content

Other Tips

• If you're having a large wedding, consider providing a microphone for the speakers to ensure everyone can hear.
• If you have a wedding planner or coordinator, they can help ensure the speakers stay on track and keep the reception timeline running smoothly.
• Don't forget to toast with a drink of choice!

Dinner

The traditional order of wedding reception speeches is the best man, followed by the maid of honour, and then the father of the bride. Each speech should be brief, with a maximum time of three minutes. The couple may also give a thank-you speech at this time.

After the toasts are finished, the couple's parents will usually join them on the dance floor for the parent dances, such as the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance.

If you're serving a plated dinner, family-style, or buffet-style, it's best to let guests eat shortly after they enter the party. This way, they'll be able to fuel up for dancing. If you're having a buffet, your wedding coordinator, band leader, or DJ should coordinate dismissing tables in sections to avoid a traffic jam. If you're serving a seated dinner, the band or DJ will play subdued, conversation-friendly background music as the waitstaff makes the rounds.

Some couples choose to walk around and personally thank their guests for coming during dinner, especially if they didn't have a chance to greet guests when they arrived.

Cake cutting

The cake-cutting ceremony is a symbolic detail of the wedding reception, with 77% of couples including it during their celebrations. The tradition dates back to the ancient Romans, where bread was broken over the bride's head. Today, the cake-cutting ceremony symbolises the couple's first joint task as newlyweds, and their promise to support each other.

The cake-cutting usually happens after dinner, between dinner and the parent dances, or before the first dance. It signals to guests that the reception is almost over and that they can start heading home, so it's best not to do it too early. However, it's also a good idea to schedule the cake-cutting earlier in the reception so that older guests or those with young children can leave before the end of the party if they wish. It's also a good idea to cut the cake earlier if you want to save on wedding photography costs, as the photographer can leave earlier.

Before cutting the cake, someone from the wedding party should make an announcement, and the couple may choose to play a song. The couple then cuts the cake together, with one partner placing their hand over the other's while cutting the first slice. The couple then feeds each other the first slice, symbolising their commitment to providing for one another. Alternatively, the couple may choose to smash the cake into each other's faces.

There are two neat methods for cutting the cake. The first is the box method, where you cut straight lines across the entire cake, portioning it into neat slices. The second is the wedge method, where you cut an inch into the bottom tier of the cake, then make a connecting cut to form a wedge.

After the couple has cut the initial piece, the catering staff will take over and bring the cake back to the kitchen to slice for the rest of the guests.

Frequently asked questions