A Rabbi And Priest Officiating: Is It Allowed?

A rabbi and a priest can officiate a wedding together, but it depends on the type of wedding and the personal beliefs of the rabbi and priest in question. For example, Jewish law bans interfaith marriage and does not recognize such marriages as valid, so all Orthodox and Conservative rabbis refrain from officiating at interfaith marriages. However, some Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis will officiate at interfaith weddings, though they may attach conditions such as not co-officiating with non-Jewish clergy or not officiating in a church. Additionally, state law varies, and some states require that a licensed member of the clergy perform the wedding. Nevertheless, with adequate time and patience, an interfaith couple can find an officiant of quality who is willing to co-officiate with a clergy member from another faith.

Interfaith weddings

Finding an Officiant:

It can be challenging to find clergy members who are willing to officiate interfaith weddings. In the case of a Jewish-Christian wedding, some rabbis and cantors may be open to performing interfaith marriages, but not all. The same may be true for priests, depending on their denomination. It's essential to have open and honest conversations with clergy from both faiths to understand their willingness and any conditions they may have. For example, some rabbis may require the couple to agree to raise future children in the Jewish faith or enrol in an introductory Judaism class.

Co-Officiation:

Co-officiation, where a clergy member from each faith performs the ceremony together, is an option for interfaith weddings. This approach allows both religious traditions to be honoured and represented equally. However, not all clergy members are open to co-officiation, and it may be challenging to find those who are. Organisations like InterfaithFamily can be a valuable resource for finding rabbis and cantors open to co-officiation. They provide curated lists of clergy members in your area who are a good fit for your wedding and can even recommend those willing to travel.

Legal Considerations:

It's important to ensure that your wedding officiant is legally recognised in the location of your wedding. In most states and countries, ordained clergy members of various faiths, including rabbis, cantors, priests, and ministers, are qualified to perform weddings. However, it's always a good idea to consult the local laws and regulations to confirm.

Ceremony and Traditions:

Communication and Compromise:

Planning an interfaith wedding requires open communication and a willingness to compromise. Discuss your visions, expectations, and concerns with your partner and the clergy members involved. Be respectful of each other's traditions and find ways to honour and celebrate both faiths. Remember that this process is about finding common ground and creating a ceremony that reflects your unique love story.

Orthodox weddings

The Betrothal Ceremony

The Betrothal Ceremony marks the start of Orthodox weddings. During this part of the ceremony, the priest formally asks the groom and bride if they wish to marry each other and if they’ve already committed themselves to anyone else. There are prayers and psalms. Then he blesses the wedding rings and places them on the couple’s right ring fingers to symbolize their union.

The couple doesn’t exchange spoken vows. Instead, their presence at the ceremony declares their commitment to each other and their consent to God’s presence in their marriage. The priest makes a sign of the cross three times in front of the groom’s forehead, and then three times in front of the bride’s forehead, while reciting his blessing.

The Crowning Service

The Crowning Service is the second half of the Eastern Orthodox wedding and contains its most recognizable and visually compelling rituals. During the Crowning Service, the couple are given lit candles to hold, join hands, and are crowned king and queen of their household before drinking from a cup of blessed wine.

The Crowning is the centerpiece of the Eastern Orthodox marriage ceremony. Garland wreaths are often fashioned into ornate crowns as a symbol of glory and honor. Crowns can also be made of orange blossom, myrtle leaves, semiprecious stones and metals, or threads of gold and crimson, which represent the royalty of marriage. The couple might join their right hands together during this part of the ceremony, or they may wait to hold hands during the crowning.

The priest recites a prayer, and the couple will continue to hold hands throughout the ceremony. This symbolic act reflects their willingness and desire to become ‘one flesh', and is common to many Christian marriage ceremonies.

The Dance of Isaiah

One of the final rituals in an Eastern Orthodox wedding is a couple’s joyful walk, or ‘dance’ around the table, led by the priest. Sometimes called the ‘Dance of Isaiah,’ this ceremonial procession symbolizes the couple’s first steps as husband and wife in the eyes of God.

The priest will sing hymns as they make their way around the ceremonial table (or analogion), followed by their wedding sponsors.

Conservative movement

Conservative rabbis and cantors are forbidden to officiate at interfaith weddings. If they do so, they risk losing their membership in the Conservative rabbinical or cantorial association.

Many rabbis and cantors who do not officiate at interfaith weddings will refer couples to someone who does or lend a sympathetic ear and offer a welcome for the couple into their community.

Some rabbis and cantors may require one, or more than one, of the following to take place: a promise to raise any children the couple may have in the future as Jewish; enrollment in an introductory Judaism class beginning before the wedding — either for the partner who is not Jewish, or perhaps for both partners; no co-officiation with a clergy person from another faith tradition; a ceremony that does not occur in a place of worship of another religion; membership in the rabbi or cantor’s synagogue if they are affiliated with one.

Many Conservative rabbis will only perform weddings for members of their synagogue and their families. You may have to join a synagogue if you want a particular rabbi to perform your wedding.

Reform movement

The Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR), to which Reform rabbis belong, discourages its members from officiating at interfaith weddings but does not forbid them from doing so. Many Reform rabbis and cantors will officiate at interfaith weddings, and a few will co-officiate with clergy of another faith.

Reform clergy gladly officiate at weddings for LGBTQ+ couples. Most Reform clergy officiate for interfaith couples. Some, but not all, are available for weddings before sundown on Saturday (even when it is still Shabbat). An officiant with an inclusive approach will offer possibilities and work with you to create a meaningful wedding ceremony that will resonate throughout your married lives.

If you are looking for a Reform rabbi or cantor to officiate your wedding, you can reach out to a rabbi or cantor you or your family already know. If they are unavailable to officiate, they may be able to recommend others. If not, consider reaching out to the clergy of your nearest Reform congregation.

You can also use referral services such as 18Doors or InterfaithFamily to find a rabbi or cantor to officiate at your wedding. These organizations can provide you with a curated list of rabbis and cantors in your area who are a good fit for the type of wedding you are planning. They can also provide personalized assistance and answer any questions you may have about interfaith weddings, clergy, and more.

Reconstructionist movement

The Reconstructionist movement leaves it up to the rabbi's conscience whether or not to officiate at interfaith weddings. While Reconstructionist rabbis are not permitted to co-officiate at interfaith weddings with clergy of another faith, some do.

A survey from 2018 found that 88% of Reconstructionist rabbis officiate at intermarriages, while 12% do not. This is a higher proportion than Reform rabbis, of whom 84% perform intermarriages.

While the Reconstructionist movement does not forbid rabbis from officiating interfaith weddings, it is still challenging for some interfaith couples to find a rabbi who will agree to officiate their wedding. Some rabbis may require the couple to agree to certain conditions before agreeing to officiate, such as promising to raise their children as Jewish or enrolling in an introductory Judaism class.

Frequently asked questions