Wedding Day Kiss: To Do Or Not To Do?

Kissing at a wedding is a symbol of love and commitment, and the first kiss as a married couple is often considered a special moment. However, the idea of kissing on your wedding day can be daunting, especially in front of a crowd of your closest friends and family. While some couples choose to embrace the tradition, others may prefer to forgo the kiss or modify it to suit their comfort level. Ultimately, the decision to kiss or not on your wedding day is a personal choice, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.

It's your wedding, so kiss however you want

Kissing at a wedding is a special moment for the couple and symbolises love and commitment. It is a tradition that is believed to have started in Ancient Rome, where a kiss was used to confirm a contract.

While it is a special moment, it is also a moment that can be filled with anxiety. Many couples worry about how to kiss, how long to kiss, and whether to choreograph the kiss.

However, it is important to remember that it is your wedding, and you can kiss however you want. There is no right or wrong way to kiss on your wedding day. The key is to be comfortable and to enjoy the moment. If you are not a fan of public displays of affection, you can opt for a small, brief kiss or even a hug or a fist bump. On the other hand, if you want to go all out with a passionate make-out session, that's your choice too!

You can practice your wedding kiss beforehand to make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Discuss hand placement, duration, approach, and dismount. Consider your level of comfort with public affection and any family traditions or cultural norms that may influence your kiss.

Remember, it's your wedding day, so kiss however you want and make it a moment to remember!

You don't have to kiss on the lips

Kissing at a wedding is a highly personal choice and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. While some couples choose to save their first kiss for their wedding day, others may have already shared many kisses before tying the knot. Ultimately, the decision to kiss or not on your wedding day is entirely up to you and your partner.

If you are considering skipping the kiss, there are several alternatives to express your love and commitment. Here are some options to consider:

• Exchange a brief hug or hold hands during the ceremony instead of kissing.
• Opt for a small, intimate ceremony with only your closest loved ones present, reducing the pressure of a public display of affection.
• Include your children (if you have any) in the ceremony and give them smooches on the cheek to symbolise your family coming together.
• Invite all the couples in attendance to kiss simultaneously, so the focus is not solely on you.
• Discuss with your partner beforehand and decide on a different way to symbolise your union, such as lighting a unity candle or performing a sand ceremony.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. Communicate your preferences with your partner and wedding officiant beforehand to ensure everyone is on the same page and your day unfolds exactly as you envision it.

If you choose to kiss, there are a few things you may want to consider to make the moment comfortable and memorable:

• Practice beforehand to familiarise yourself with hand placement, approach, and duration.
• Keep the kiss short and sweet, aiming for around 3 to 5 seconds.
• Avoid using your tongue or getting too passionate, especially with older relatives present.
• Be mindful of your family traditions and cultural background when deciding on the type of kiss.

Ultimately, the decision to kiss or not on your wedding day is a personal one, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner.

Practice your wedding kiss beforehand

While kissing on your wedding day is a special moment, it can also be nerve-wracking to kiss in front of an audience. Here are some tips to help you prepare for your wedding kiss:

Practice, Practice, Practice!

If you are comfortable with the idea of kissing before marriage, use this opportunity to get as many smooches as you want. Practising will help you perfect your technique and ensure that your wedding kiss is smooth and confident. Consider factors such as hand placement, duration, approach, and dismount.

Approach Each Other Slowly

Don't rush towards each other for the kiss. Take your time, make eye contact, and approach each other slowly. This will make the moment feel more intimate and romantic, and it will also ensure that you don't bump teeth or miss each other's mouths!

Do Something with Your Hands

Have a plan for where to put your hands during the kiss. Holding hands, a partial embrace with hands on each other's waists, or a passionate 'face grab' are all popular options. Choose what feels comfortable and natural for you as a couple.

Avoid Excessive Tongue Action

While it's important to be passionate, remember to keep the kiss appropriate for your audience. Avoid a long, overly passionate make-out session, and save the tongue action for later. As the movie "The Wedding Singer" famously put it, go for "church tongue" instead of "porno tongue"!

Keep it Short and Sweet

Most photographers recommend keeping the first kiss to around 3-5 seconds. This is enough time to capture some beautiful photos without making your guests feel uncomfortable. Remember, you have the rest of your lives to kiss and can always sneak in some longer kisses during your honeymoon!

By following these tips and practising beforehand, you can ensure that your wedding kiss is a memorable and special moment that you and your partner will cherish forever.

Discuss your preferences with your partner

Kissing at a wedding is a highly personal decision and can be influenced by several factors, such as cultural and religious beliefs, comfort with public displays of affection, and individual preferences. If you're considering not kissing on your wedding day, it's important to discuss your preferences with your partner to ensure you're both on the same page. Here are some things to keep in mind when approaching this conversation:

Understand Each Other's Comfort Levels

Talk about your comfort with public displays of affection. Be honest about how you feel and listen to your partner's perspective. If one of you is more reserved, consider a smaller, more intimate ceremony or a brief kiss to respect each other's boundaries.

Respect Cultural and Religious Differences

Discuss any cultural or religious traditions that may influence your decision. For example, in some cultures, public affection is not common, and a big wedding kiss might be uncomfortable for family members. Understanding and respecting these differences can help you navigate this topic with sensitivity.

Decide on the Type of Kiss

If you decide to go ahead with a kiss, discuss the type of kiss you're both comfortable with. A quick peck might feel insincere, while a passionate make-out session may be too much for your guests. Aim for something in between—a sincere, affectionate kiss that reflects your love without making others feel awkward.

Practice and Plan

Some couples find it helpful to practice their wedding kiss beforehand. While you don't have to choreograph every detail, discussing aspects like hand placement, duration, and approach can ease nerves and ensure you're both comfortable.

Consider Alternatives

If you decide not to kiss, there are alternative ways to seal your commitment. You could exchange hugs, invite all couples to kiss simultaneously, or involve your children with smooches on their cheeks to symbolise your family unity.

Remember, the most important thing is to respect each other's preferences and find a solution that feels right for both of you. Your wedding day should reflect your unique relationship, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to the wedding kiss.

Consider your family traditions and cultural background

The wedding kiss is a timeless tradition that is steeped in cultural and religious significance. While it is not a mandatory part of the ceremony, it is considered a joyful start to the marriage. The act of kissing one's spouse at the conclusion of a wedding ceremony is a custom in many societies and cultures. However, the expression of this tradition varies across different cultural and family backgrounds.

In Western culture, it is customary for the father of the bride to kiss his daughter as he escorts her down the aisle. This gesture, however, may be uncomfortable or unheard of in Chinese or Korean families, or in cultures where public displays of affection are not common. For instance, Slavic people often kiss three times on alternating cheeks, while Italians, Croatians, and Hungarians usually kiss twice. In Latin Europe, cheek kissing is a standard greeting, while in Mexico and Belgium, a single kiss is the norm.

Religious beliefs also play a role in shaping family traditions around kissing at weddings. In Christian weddings, the kiss may symbolize the exchange of souls between the bride and groom, as mentioned in the Bible, "the two shall become one flesh." Catholic priests used to give grooms the "kiss of peace," which would then be passed on to the brides, leading to the phrase, "You may now kiss the bride." This phrase, however, is falling out of favour due to its patriarchal and sexist connotations.

When considering family traditions and cultural background, it is essential to respect the comfort levels and preferences of both the couple and their families. Some couples may opt for a small, brief kiss to seal the ceremony, especially if they or their families are not accustomed to public displays of affection. Others may embrace the tradition wholeheartedly with a passionate kiss, multiple kisses, or even a full open-mouth tongue kiss. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and they can choose to adapt their kiss to the comfort level of their families and cultural background.

Frequently asked questions