Bridal shower gifts are typically smaller and more modest than wedding gifts, and the present you choose should be dictated by what the bride needs via the registry. While traditional etiquette states that you should wait to use any shower or wedding gifts until after the wedding, many people disagree with this. Some people believe that if the wedding doesn't happen, you should return the gifts, while others believe that a gift is a gift and there are no strings attached. There is no right or wrong answer to this question, as it is a matter of personal preference and what the couple is comfortable with.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Should couples use shower gifts before the wedding? | It is generally advised that couples wait until after the wedding to use shower gifts, in case the wedding is called off and gifts need to be returned. However, some people think this tradition is outdated and it is okay for couples to use the gifts. |
Bridal shower gift etiquette | It is advised to give a gift when attending a bridal shower, even if it is just a small gift like a bottle of wine and a card. If you are giving one bigger gift for both the bridal shower and the wedding, let the couple know in advance. |
Bridal shower gift budget | There is no required amount to spend on a bridal shower gift, but on average, guests spend between $50 to $100 depending on their relationship with the bride. |
Bridal shower gift ideas | Bridal shower gifts are typically smaller and more modest than wedding gifts and should be chosen based on the couple's needs and registry. Common bridal shower gifts include kitchenware, such as small appliances, utensils, towels, or dishes. |
What You'll Learn
Should couples open gifts before their wedding?
There are differing opinions on whether or not couples should open their wedding gifts before the big day. Some people believe that it is bad luck and that the gifts are meant to be opened and used only after the couple is officially married. This is especially true for wedding gifts, which are traditionally seen as gifts for the couple's married life together. Additionally, there is a belief that if the wedding is called off, the gifts should be returned, so opening and using the gifts beforehand could make this process more difficult.
However, others argue that this is an outdated tradition and that it is unnecessary to wait to open and use the gifts. They believe that gifts are meant to be enjoyed immediately and that it is impractical to have boxes piling up in the home. Additionally, some couples may already be living together and in need of the items, especially if they are essential home goods like kitchenware or appliances.
Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to open gifts before the wedding is a personal one. Some couples may choose to follow tradition and wait, while others may opt for practicality and convenience. It is also important to consider the preferences of the gift-giver, as some may have specific intentions or expectations for how and when the gift should be used.
To avoid any potential issues, it is recommended to check with the couple or the hostess to see if there is a preference for when the gifts should be opened. If the couple is having multiple showers, it is generally accepted that guests only need to bring one gift, which can be given at any of the events. Additionally, if a guest is only invited to one pre-wedding event, it is not obligatory to send a gift if they cannot attend, although it may be a nice gesture, especially for close friends or family.
When it comes to the type of gift, bridal shower gifts are typically smaller and more modest than wedding gifts, and it is common to give items like kitchenware, towels, dishes, or small appliances. Wedding gifts, on the other hand, tend to be larger and more expensive, such as appliances, furniture, or monetary gifts.
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Should couples use gifts before their wedding?
There are differing opinions on whether or not couples should use gifts before their wedding. Some people believe that it is bad luck and that the gifts are meant to be used only after the couple is officially married. This is especially true for wedding gifts, which are traditionally considered a way to help the couple start their new life together. Using these gifts before the wedding could be seen as jumping the gun and might be considered disrespectful to some.
However, others argue that it is unnecessary and inconvenient to wait until after the wedding to use gifts, especially if the couple already lives together and needs the items right away. Additionally, some people view gifts as unconditional presents that the recipient can do whatever they want with, including using them before the wedding.
Another factor to consider is the type of gift. Bridal shower gifts are typically smaller and more modest than wedding gifts, and there may be less expectation for them to be saved until after the wedding. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide what they are comfortable with and what makes the most sense for their situation.
If a couple is concerned about offending anyone, they might consider using only the bridal shower gifts before the wedding and saving the wedding gifts for after. They could also check with the gift-givers to see if they have any preferences or using certain gifts right away.
At the end of the day, the decision of whether or not to use gifts before the wedding is a personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Some people may prefer to follow tradition and save the gifts, while others may choose to use them right away. Open communication with gift-givers and consideration of cultural and familial traditions can help couples navigate this decision respectfully.
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What are some gift ideas for couples?
There are many gift ideas for couples, whether it be for their wedding, a special anniversary, the holidays, or just because. Here are some unique and thoughtful gifts for couples:
- Matching or personalised items: Mugs, aprons, bathrobes, pyjama sets, or jewellery are all great options for couples. You can add a cute twist by personalising these items with their initials, a meaningful date, or a cute design.
- Home essentials: If the couple has just moved in together, home essentials are a practical gift. This could include kitchen appliances, cookware sets, tableware, or even a smart indoor garden for growing herbs and veggies.
- Experience gifts: For the couple who loves to try new things, consider gifting them an experience such as an Airbnb gift card, a date night subscription box, or a cooking class.
- Sentimental gifts: A framed version of the night sky on a special date, a custom map serving tray, or a couples' hand casting kit are all thoughtful gifts that will create lasting memories.
- Entertainment: For couples who love to stay in and watch movies, a projector will level up their movie nights. For those who enjoy games and puzzles, options include The Hygge Conversation Game, Where Should We Begin, or a custom word search throw blanket.
- Self-care: Help the couple unwind with a shiatsu back, shoulder, and neck massager, or a set of plush bathrobes.
- Adventurous couples: For couples who love the great outdoors, consider gifting them a paddleboard, folding chairs for camping, or a picnic basket for two.
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What are some gift ideas for the bride?
Bridal showers are a great opportunity to give valuable presents to the bride, like appliances, china settings, and serving pieces from the couple's wedding registry. However, it is also encouraged to give something more personal and unique. Here are some gift ideas for the bride:
- Customized items, such as a bag with the bride's name or monogram, a hand-painted watercolour of the wedding venue or couple, or a champagne bottle personalised with the couple's name and wedding date.
- Pretty lingerie, jewellery, and self-care gifts like scented candles and beauty products.
- Personalised stationery sets, photo albums or scrapbooks.
- A special family heirloom, such as a piece of jewellery or antique furniture.
- "Something blue" charms and poems to be used in the bride's bouquet and kept as a memento.
- A day at the spa.
- Personalised jewellery dishes, ring/trinket dishes, or ring dishes.
- Bridal robes for the bride and her bridesmaids, customised with names, initials, dates, etc.
- Custom map art of significant locations and dates for the couple, such as where they met, got engaged, and are getting married.
- A bamboo cheese board and knife set.
- A professional jewellery cleaner.
- Personalised wine labels or wine glasses.
- A passport case and luggage tags.
- A handmade wine stand, including a corkscrew.
- A Cuisinart ice cream maker and porcelain dessert bowls.
- Personalised cheese board sets.
- A personalised BBQ grilling set.
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What are some wedding gift etiquette tips?
Wedding Gift Etiquette Tips
- It is not mandatory to give a gift at a wedding, but it is customary and appreciated.
- The amount spent on a gift should depend on your relationship with the couple, your budget, and the cost of hosting you at the wedding.
- It is generally advised to spend between $50 and $250, with $100 being the average.
- Cash gifts are acceptable and increasingly common, especially if the couple has registered for cash funds or gift cards.
- If you are unable to attend the wedding, you are not obligated to send a gift, but it is still a nice gesture.
- If you are attending the wedding, it is considered rude not to bring at least a card.
- If you are part of the bridal party, you are not expected to bring a gift.
- It is best to send gifts two weeks before the wedding or within three months after.
- If you are buying physical gifts for a destination wedding, send them to the couple's home in advance so they don't have to travel with them.
- If you are giving cash or cheque gifts for a destination wedding, send them before the wedding.
- If you are not able to attend a destination wedding, it is still nice to send a gift.
- You are not required to send a gift for an elopement, but you may do so if you wish.
- If you are buying a gift for an elopement, send something small after the couple has announced their marriage.
- You can give cash gifts for an elopement following similar etiquette to a regular wedding: $25 for a coworker or acquaintance, $50 for a friend or distant family member, and $100 or more for close friends or family.
- If the couple has a registry, use it to choose a gift they want and need.
- If the couple does not have a registry, consider gifts such as home essentials, wedding-related items, or experiences.
- If you want to buy a gift that is not on the registry, it is usually okay to do so if you know the couple well, the registry is bought out, or the items are out of your budget.
- If you are not close to the couple and unable to attend the wedding, you are not obligated to give a gift.
- If you are a family member who cannot attend, send a small gift or contribute to a group gift or honeymoon fund.
- If you are a friend who cannot attend, send a gift within your budget.
- If you are buying a group gift, ensure everyone who contributes signs the card so the couple knows who to thank.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, traditional wedding gift etiquette indicates that if you've been invited to the bridal shower and to the wedding, you should bring a gift to both. However, the gifts are expected to fall into different price ranges.
Keeping the 20-20-60 Rule in mind, a bridal shower gift should be about one-third the price of your wedding gift. However, what you spend comes down to your relationship with the couple and your budget.
While it’s uncommon to show up to a shower empty-handed, or to forgo a gift on the big day, some guests like to give the happy couple one big-ticket gift for all the celebrating, rather than breaking the gifts into pieces. That’s totally okay — but make sure the couple knows.
You can really go either way. If you want to give a gift specifically for the bride, the bridal shower is your opportunity to do so—wedding gifts are traditionally for the couple as a unit.