A Wedding Tradition: Groom Seeing The Bride

can the groom see the bride on her wedding day

The superstition that the groom should not see the bride before the wedding ceremony dates back to when marriages were arranged. The belief was that if the groom saw the bride before the vows, he might find her unattractive and back out of the wedding. This would damage the family's reputation as marriages were seen as business deals. The veil also played a part in this tradition, as it prevented the groom from seeing the bride's face until the last moment when it was too late to change his mind. Today, this superstition is considered outdated by many, and couples often choose to do a first look before the ceremony to ease pre-wedding jitters.

Characteristics Values
Reason for tradition In the past, marriages were arranged and the bride and groom were not allowed to meet until they were at the altar. The bride's parents feared that if the groom found the bride unattractive, he would call off the wedding.
Veil The veil was used to prevent the groom from knowing what the bride looked like until the last moment, when it was too late to back out.
Modern practice More and more couples are choosing to do a "first look" before the ceremony. However, many couples still choose to save the moment of seeing each other for the actual wedding.
Superstition It is considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.

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This superstition dates back to when marriages were arranged

The superstition that the groom should not see the bride before the wedding ceremony dates back to when marriages were arranged. In those times, it was considered bad luck for the betrothed couple to meet before the wedding, as it was believed that the groom might not find the bride attractive and would call off the wedding. The bride's parents feared that this would bring serious shame to the bride and her family. The tradition of the bride wearing a veil also stems from this superstition, as it prevented the groom from seeing what the bride looked like until the very last moment when it was too late to back out.

Arranged marriages often served more as a business deal between families than a love match, and the bride's father usually made the arrangement. The father wanted his daughter to marry into a wealthy family to benefit his own family. To avoid the risk of the groom backing out of the arrangement, the bride's parents ensured that the couple did not see each other until the wedding ceremony. This superstition was born out of the desire to ensure that the groom would follow through with his commitment to marry the bride, a commitment that was often made for business purposes.

In modern times, this superstition has evolved into a more romantic idea. Couples may choose to adhere to this tradition to create a surprise when they see each other in their wedding attire for the first time at the altar. However, with the decline of arranged marriages and the increasing personalisation of weddings, many couples opt to see each other before the ceremony during a "first look" moment. This allows them to appreciate each other and capture the emotions of seeing each other on their special day in a more private setting.

While some couples still choose to follow the tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding, it is no longer a widely held superstition. Ultimately, it is a personal choice for the couple to make, based on their preferences and beliefs.

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Parents of the bride feared the groom would find her unattractive and call off the wedding

The superstition that it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding ceremony dates back to when marriages were arranged and served as business deals between families. The bride's parents would usually make the deal, often with the intention of having their daughter marry into wealth to benefit their family. This led to fears that if the groom saw the bride before the ceremony, he might not find her attractive and could call off the wedding, which would bring serious shame and embarrassment to the bride's family.

The veil and the bride's walk down the aisle also have not-so-romantic origins tied to this tradition. The bride's face was covered as she walked down the aisle, only revealing herself at the very last moment before the vows were exchanged, ensuring the groom had no opportunity to back out.

Today, this superstition is less commonly observed, with many couples choosing to do a "first look" before the ceremony to ease pre-wedding jitters. However, some couples still choose to save that special moment for the actual wedding ceremony. Ultimately, the decision to see each other before the wedding or not is a personal choice, and couples should do what feels right for them.

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The veil was used to prevent the groom from knowing what the bride looked like until the last second

In ancient Rome and Greece, brides wore veils to protect themselves from evil spirits and to ensure happiness on their wedding day. The veil, usually saffron-coloured, was meant to make the bride look like she was on fire, thus hiding her from any evil spirits that might want to ruin her happiness.

The veil was also used to prevent the groom from knowing what the bride looked like until the very last moment. In the past, when marriages were often arranged, the bride's family would worry that if the couple met before the wedding, the groom might not find the bride attractive and would call off the match. This would bring serious shame to the bride and her family. To avoid this risk, the tradition of the couple not seeing each other until the ceremony was born. The veil played a crucial role in this tradition, as it covered the bride's face until the end of the ceremony, when it was time for the couple to kiss, and it was too late for the groom to back out.

In some cultures and religions, the veil also had other symbolic meanings. For example, in Judaism, the veil is used in the Bedeken ceremony, where the groom covers the bride's face with her veil. This act is a reference to the Biblical story of Jacob, who was tricked into marrying Leah, who was disguised with a veil, instead of his intended bride, Rachel. At the Bedeken, the groom is required to "check" and make sure he is marrying the correct person.

In Catholic weddings, the veil is meant to add to the bride's modesty and purity. Most traditional Catholic churches require that the bride's shoulders be covered during mass, which can be achieved with a veil.

Today, the superstition around the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding has evolved. Now, it is seen as a romantic gesture to allow their wedding attire to be a surprise until they meet at the altar.

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The superstition has been debunked, with many couples now choosing to do a first look

The superstition that the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding stems from the time when marriages were arranged and seeing each other beforehand was considered bad luck. It was believed that if the groom found the bride unattractive, he would call off the wedding, bringing shame to the bride's family. The veil also played a part in this tradition, as it prevented the groom from seeing the bride's face until the last moment, when it was too late to back out.

However, this superstition has evolved and is now considered debunked, with many couples choosing to do a "first look" before the ceremony. The "first look" is a moment for the couple to appreciate each other and capture the emotions of seeing each other for the first time on their wedding day, without an audience. Photographers also encourage this practice as they can capture more photos while the bride's hair and makeup are fresh.

Some couples still choose to adhere to the tradition and not see each other before the ceremony to save that special moment for the actual wedding. Ultimately, it is a personal choice, and couples can decide what works best for them. Some couples even choose to spend the entire day together, helping with set-up and preparations, and still have a meaningful and emotional "first look" moment.

While the superstition has been debunked, it is worth noting that some couples may still prefer to follow the tradition, especially if they want to maintain the element of surprise or adhere to cultural or religious beliefs.

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Couples who don't adhere to the superstition can still have a special moment seeing each other in their wedding attire

The superstition that the groom should not see the bride before the wedding ceremony dates back to when marriages were arranged. The bride's parents didn't want the groom to see the bride before the wedding, in case he found her unattractive and decided to call off the wedding. The veil was also used to prevent the groom from knowing what the bride looked like until the last moment – when it was too late to change his mind.

Nowadays, many couples choose to ignore this superstition and opt for a "first look" before the ceremony. This can be a special moment for the couple to appreciate each other in their wedding attire, without an audience watching on. A "first look" also allows couples to take photographs before the ceremony, so they can enjoy the cocktail hour after the wedding.

If you're planning a wedding and are worried about this superstition, remember that traditions don't always age well and it's completely personal how you and your partner choose to incorporate them into your wedding. You can decide to do whatever you want, and it's nice to make your wedding unique and personal to you.

Frequently asked questions

It is considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding as people believed that if the groom saw the bride before the vows, there was a chance he would back out if he found her unattractive.

The superstition dates back to when marriages were arranged and were seen as business deals between the parents of the bride and groom. If the groom pulled out at the last minute, it could damage the family's reputation.

There are several alternatives to seeing each other before the wedding, such as taking photos back-to-back, putting on a blindfold and holding hands, recording a video message, or writing a note and giving a gift.

Not seeing each other before the ceremony can build excitement and anticipation for the wedding. It also allows couples to spend ample time with their wedding party beforehand.

According to a poll, 52% of couples said the groom shouldn’t see the bride, 45% didn’t see why not, and 13% said it was ok to see the bride as long as the lights weren’t on. So, while it is still a common tradition, many couples now feel that it doesn't matter if the groom sees the bride before the wedding.

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