A Wedding-Less Marriage: Is It Possible?

There are many reasons why a couple might want to get married without a wedding ceremony. For some, the prospect of spending thousands on a single day's event doesn't align with their values, especially when the commitment is genuinely between two souls. Others might be more interested in allocating their funds to an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime experience, such as travel or starting a business. Whatever the reason, there are several ways to get married without a wedding.

One option is to have a civil ceremony performed by a government official, which can often be done at a courthouse with a few witnesses. Another option is to elope, which has evolved to offer couples a bespoke experience that allows them to celebrate in a way that feels authentic to them. A third option is to have an intimate vow exchange with just your closest friends and family in a setting that holds special meaning. Finally, online weddings are becoming an increasingly popular and flexible option for couples who want to unite without geographical constraints.

Courthouse or City Hall wedding

If you're looking for a small, intimate, and inexpensive wedding, a courthouse or city hall wedding could be the perfect option for you. This type of wedding, also known as a civil ceremony, is a secular, legally recognised marriage typically carried out by government officials or state-authorised individuals. While the specific format may vary depending on your location, there are some general steps and things to keep in mind when planning a courthouse or city hall wedding.

Firstly, it's important to plan ahead, especially if you have a particular date in mind. Research the requirements and fees for your desired location, as they can vary from city to city. For example, in New York City, couples are required to pay a fee and make an appointment, while in Dallas County, Texas, there is no need to make an appointment as long as a fee is paid and a judge is available. It's also worth noting that you won't be able to choose your officiant, but it will likely be someone well-practised in civil ceremonies, such as a judge, justice of the peace, notary, or city clerk.

Before the ceremony, you'll need to obtain a marriage license, which typically involves applying through your county and providing necessary documentation, such as government-issued IDs, birth certificates, and divorce papers if applicable. There may also be a waiting period after obtaining the license before you can schedule your wedding, so be sure to plan accordingly. Additionally, some locations may require witnesses, so it's important to check the requirements for your chosen location.

On the day of your courthouse or city hall wedding, arrive at the designated location with your partner, witnesses (if required), and any necessary paperwork. The ceremony itself is usually short, lasting around 10 to 15 minutes. After the ceremony, you are encouraged to take photos with your guests and witnesses to commemorate this special day.

While courthouse or city hall weddings are typically small and intimate, you can still incorporate personal touches and traditional wedding elements. You can choose to wear a wedding dress or suit, carry a bouquet, or even have a small reception or celebration with your closest family and friends. Ultimately, the choice of having a courthouse or city hall wedding allows you to create a unique and meaningful experience that suits your vision and preferences.

Elopement

Some couples may choose to have a small wedding ceremony with few or no guests and often without a reception, which can also be considered an elopement.

Civil ceremony

A civil ceremony is a non-religious, legal marriage ceremony performed by a government official. This type of ceremony is often chosen by couples who don't want a religious wedding, perhaps because they have different religious backgrounds, no religious affiliation, or they simply don't want religion to be a part of their wedding day.

Civil ceremonies are presided over by a legal official, such as a justice of the peace, county or court clerk, notary public, judge, or magistrate. They often take place at a city hall or courthouse, but they can also be held at other venues. While they are often attended by just a few guests (referred to as witnesses), a civil wedding ceremony can include a larger guest list.

To have a civil ceremony, you will need to obtain a marriage license and have your marriage solemnized by a legal official. This means that you must clearly express your intent to be married in the presence of your marriage officiant, and they must pronounce you married and complete the marriage certificate. Some states may also require witnesses, with a minimum of two over the age of 18.

Civil ceremonies are a popular choice for couples who want a simple, intimate, and affordable wedding. They can also be a good option for couples navigating tricky family dynamics or interfaith couples who want to avoid the pitfalls of navigating different religious traditions.

Commitment ceremony

A commitment ceremony is a way for couples to publicly declare their love and devotion to one another without signing any legal documents. It is not legally binding but is still a valid way for couples to celebrate their commitment.

Historically, commitment ceremonies were used by couples who were forbidden to marry by the church or state, often due to their sexual orientation or race. Today, they are still used by same-sex couples in countries where marriage equality has not been achieved. They are also a popular option for couples who do not want to be legally bound together for financial or tax reasons, or who simply want to celebrate their commitment in a way that is meaningful to them without the interference of the government.

Commitment ceremonies can include many of the same aspects as a traditional wedding ceremony, such as exchanging vows and rings, but without the legal requirements. Couples can choose to include as many or as few traditions as they like and can get creative with their ceremony, speaking directly to one another with no frills. The location, guest list, and attire are also entirely up to the couple, with no restrictions.

One downside of a commitment ceremony is that couples may miss out on the legal benefits of marriage, such as tax breaks or health insurance coverage. Additionally, some cultures may not approve of this non-traditional route, but ultimately, it is important to do what is best for the couple.

For couples considering a commitment ceremony, here are some key points to keep in mind:

• Choose a location that is personal and meaningful to you and your partner. Dream big and don't hold back on your celebration.
• Create your ideal ceremony program, including any traditions or activities that are special to your relationship.
• Decide on your guest list, keeping in mind that certain activities may not be suitable for all guests.
• Select an outfit that reflects your personal style, whether it resembles traditional wedding attire or something more unique and unexpected.
• Be upfront with your guests about the nature of the ceremony, especially if they are expected to travel or bring gifts.
• Remember that a commitment ceremony can be just as valid and important as a legal marriage, and it is a chance to celebrate your love and commitment in a way that is authentic to you.

Online marriage

There are a few different ways to get married online. One way is to use an online marriage service, such as Courtly or VirtualMarriage. These services typically include an authorized officiant who will perform the ceremony via web video conference, and they will also provide you with a marriage certificate. The cost of these services varies, but it is generally a few hundred dollars, plus the cost of the marriage license application.

Another option for getting married online is to use an online marriage license service, such as Online Marriage. This type of service will help you navigate the legal process of obtaining a marriage license and will often include recommendations for authorized online officiants. The cost of this type of service is usually a few hundred dollars, and it may include additional benefits such as a free immigration consultation.

It's important to note that the rules for getting married online vary by state and change frequently, so it's always a good idea to check the most up-to-date information for your specific location.

Overall, getting married online is a convenient, flexible, and legal way to get married without a wedding. It can be a great choice for couples who want a simple, private, or expedited marriage.

Frequently asked questions