Best Woman: Breaking Gender Norms At Weddings

It is becoming increasingly common for brides and grooms to have their closest friends by their side on their wedding day, regardless of gender. This has led to the rise of the best woman or grooms(wo)man, who takes on the traditional duties of the best man, including planning the stag, assisting with wedding attire shopping, and giving a speech. While some couples choose to have their best woman wear a suit to match the groomsmen, others opt for a dress that matches the colour scheme or bridesmaids' dresses. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference and comfort, and it is essential to communicate openly with both the best woman and the bride or groom-to-be to ensure everyone is on the same page.

What is a female best man called?

There are several names for a female best man. Some people refer to her as the "Best Woman", while others call her the "Groom's Woman". She would be considered part of the groomsmen. The equivalent exists in the opposite direction, called the "Man of Honour".

The trend of having a female best man is becoming more accepted and common. In fact, when a wedding company surveyed 1,000 of their past customers, asking them who they asked to be their best man, 6% said it was their sister. This number is expected to increase with each passing year.

There are several ways to include a female best man in the wedding. She can wear a female tuxedo or suit that matches the style and colouring of the other groomsmen. Alternatively, she could wear a dress that matches the colour code of the groomsmen or the bridesmaids, if she is close to the bride.

Is it now accepted to have a female best man?

While the role of best man has traditionally been filled by a male friend or family member of the groom, it is now becoming more widely accepted for women to take on this role. In fact, many people now believe that the best man or woman should simply be the person closest to the groom, regardless of their gender.

Some people who have had a female best man have chosen to use alternative titles such as "best woman", "groom's woman", or "man of honour". However, others have chosen to stick with the traditional title of "best man" regardless of the person's gender.

When it comes to attire, female best men typically opt for a suit or tuxedo that matches the style and colour of the groomsmen's outfits. Alternatively, they might wear a dress that matches the colour scheme of the groomsmen or bridesmaids.

While some people might raise their eyebrows at the idea of a female best man, it is ultimately the groom's decision to choose their wedding party. As one person commented, "It's your wedding, you can do whatever the f*ck you want."

Can she come on the stag do?

Absolutely! It is now very common for women to be present on a stag do, and vice versa for men on a hen do. This has gained the nickname "hag do" or "sten do". It is worth telling the other lads beforehand, but if they are all close to you, they are probably not surprised to see her present.

With mixed-gender stag groups, you may need to consider some extra things before booking, such as whether all rooms are twin rooms and whether she has someone she feels comfortable sharing with. But in general, it shouldn't make any difference at all to your booking.

If you're going to a strip club at some point, maybe mention this before and just double-check how she feels about this. If she's coming on a stag do, she will probably expect this anyway.

This is very much dependent on what she feels comfortable in. Most of the time, women will opt for a female tuxedo or suit. This will normally match the style and colouring of the other groomsmen. Alternatively, she could wear similar clothes to the other bridesmaids, if she is close to the bride-to-be.

The third option is for her to wear a dress that matches the colour code of the groomsmen.

Most people call them the "Best Woman", but she would be considered part of the groomsmen. The equivalent exists in the opposite direction, called the "Man of Honour".

How do I deal with picture symmetry?

Dealing with picture symmetry can be a challenge, but it's important to remember that your wedding is about celebrating your love and the merging of your two lives. Here are some tips to help you navigate this issue:

Firstly, it's essential to discuss this topic with your partner beforehand to ensure there aren't any misunderstandings or confusion on the day of the wedding. Your partner might have a different perspective on picture symmetry, so open communication is key.

If you decide to have a female best man, also known as a "best woman," consider how you want her to be presented in the photos. You can choose to have her stand on the groom's side or switch sides with one of the bridesmaids to maintain symmetry. Informing the photographer about your decision beforehand will help ensure that everyone is on the same page and that your best woman is included in all the key pictures.

Another aspect to consider is the attire of your best woman. Traditionally, groomsmen wear matching suits or tuxedos, while bridesmaids wear dresses that complement the wedding colour scheme. You can discuss with your best woman what she feels comfortable wearing. She might opt for a female tuxedo or suit that matches the groomsmen's attire. Alternatively, she could wear a dress that matches the colour of the groomsmen's outfits or coordinates with the bridesmaids' dresses if she is close to the bride.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose someone who is dear to you and will support you on your special day. The title of "best man" or "best woman" is just a label, and what matters most is the person standing by your side.

How will the bride react?

There are a variety of ways a bride might react to her partner choosing a woman as his best man. Here are some possible responses:

Support and Encouragement

Some brides will be supportive of their partner's choice, especially if the best woman is a close friend or family member. They may see it as a cute idea and encourage their partner to go for it. This was the case for one bride who suggested her partner's best friend be his "best woman". She even offered to ask other female friends and family members for their opinions. Another bride supported her husband's choice of his sister as his best woman, and one bride-to-be was happy for her fiancé to have his female friend as his best woman, as she was also her best friend.

Jealousy and Control

Other brides may feel jealous of the best woman and try to control the situation by imposing restrictions on her. For example, one bride-to-be said she didn't want the best woman planning or attending the bachelor party, and she wanted the best woman to get ready with the bridesmaids and wear the same dress as them. She also didn't want the best woman to wear a tuxedo and felt that her fiancé could choose one of his male friends or his brother-in-law instead. Another bride-to-be felt that the best woman's presence at the altar would ruin the symmetry of the wedding photos.

Acceptance and Compromise

Some brides may initially struggle with the idea of a female best man but eventually come around to the idea. One bride was concerned about what her guests would think but, in the end, no one said anything negative. Another bride-to-be was worried about the best woman's outfit but was happy for her to wear a dress that matched the colour scheme of the groomsmen.

No Issue

In some cases, the bride may not have any issue with the idea of a female best man. One bride-to-be was happy for her fiancé to have his female friend as his best woman, as she was also her friend. Another bride-to-be said she didn't mind either way if her fiancé had a female best man or not.

Frequently asked questions