Married Man As Best Man: Is It Possible?

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is usually his closest relative or friend. The best man is in charge of the groomsmen and typically has several duties before and during the wedding, including planning the bachelor party, helping to choose the groomsmen's attire, and giving a speech at the reception. So, can a married man be a best man? Yes! There are no rules about the best man's relationship status, and a groom may even choose his father for the role.

The groom's brother can be the best man

The role of best man is an important one, and it is an honour to be selected. The groom will usually choose a close friend or relative to be his best man, such as a brother, and stand by his side on the wedding day.

The best man is the groom's chief assistant and will be responsible for several duties, including organising a bachelor party, keeping the wedding rings safe, and giving a speech. In some cultures, the best man is expected to perform an outlandish dance at the wedding, or even pay for most of the wedding expenses.

If the groom has a close brother, it makes sense for him to be the best man. The role of best man is not restricted by marital status, so a married man can certainly take on this important role. The groom's brother can be the best man, and it is a great way to honour their sibling bond.

There may be concerns about spouses feeling left out if the groom's brother is the best man. However, this can be easily addressed by including spouses in pre-wedding activities, such as getting ready together, and seating them together during the reception. It is also important to remember that the best man's duties are only for a small part of the day, and the spouses can spend the rest of the time together.

The bride's spouse is not always included in wedding activities

In terms of seating arrangements, there are different approaches. Some couples choose to have a sweetheart table, where the bride and groom sit together, while others opt for a head table that includes the wedding party and their spouses. Still, others may choose to seat the wedding party separately from their spouses, which can be a source of discomfort for both the spouses and the wedding party members.

To make the day more enjoyable for everyone, some couples try to seat spouses with people they know or introduce them to others in a similar situation. This can help create a sense of camaraderie and ensure that no one feels left out during the festivities. Ultimately, it is up to the couple getting married to decide how to include or exclude the spouses of the wedding party, and it is important for the wedding party members to respect their wishes, even if it means their spouses may feel left out at times.

In some cultures and countries, the role of the best man and the wedding party differs significantly from Western traditions. For example, in Zambia, the best man leads processions at the wedding and preliminary events, and in Uganda, the best man is expected to be married and offer guidance to the newlyweds based on their own marital experience. These variations highlight the diverse nature of wedding customs and the importance of understanding cultural contexts when discussing wedding roles and expectations.

The best man's duties include giving a short speech

While there is no rule stating that a married man cannot be a best man, it is a common concern that a married best man might not be able to fulfil certain best man duties, such as organising the stag do. However, the most memorable part of a best man's role is usually the best man's speech.

The best man's speech is often considered the comedic highlight of the wedding. It is an opportunity for the best man to share humorous memories and thoughtful anecdotes about the groom. The speech should be lighthearted and personal, with a balance of humour and sincerity.

• Welcome and Introduction: Begin with a light-hearted icebreaker or a joke to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. Then, introduce yourself and share how you know the groom.
• Messages from Absent Guests: Read out messages, well-wishes, or funny stories from friends and family who couldn't attend.
• Anecdotes and Stories: Share amusing anecdotes and playful roasts about the groom. If you have a prop or a stunt that enhances the story, this is the time to use it.
• Words of Wisdom: Offer light-hearted yet sincere advice to the newlyweds. If you are married, you can share some of your own experiences and lessons learned.
• Praise for the Couple: Share a memory or anecdote about when you knew the couple was meant for each other. Compliment the bride and reflect on your favourite things about her and their relationship.
• Acknowledgements: Thank the bridal party, parents, and anyone else who has played a significant role in the wedding.
• Final Toast: Conclude your speech by raising a glass to the couple and wishing them a happy future.

Some additional tips for the best man's speech:

• Keep the speech concise and engaging. The sweet spot is around seven minutes.
• Avoid cliches and overly used jokes. Opt for original and creative humour instead.
• Stay true to yourself. There is no need to play a role—a heartfelt speech will always be well-received.
• Be mindful of the audience. If there is a mix of older and younger people, avoid risqué jokes or offensive language.

Remember, the most important thing is to support the groom and celebrate the couple. With a well-structured speech, a sprinkle of humour, and a sincere tone, you will deliver a memorable and meaningful best man's speech, regardless of your marital status.

The best man is not a universal custom

The role of the best man is not a universal custom. Even in places where a best man is customary, the role may differ from other areas of the world.

In Anglophone countries, the best man is usually a close friend or relative of the groom, who stands next to the groom during the ceremony and delivers a short speech. In Zambia, the best man leads processions at the wedding and preliminary events, including dance rehearsals, and is expected to give an outstanding and outlandish dance performance on the wedding day. In Uganda, the best man is expected to be married, preferably to one wife, and to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage. In Bhutan, the best man presents himself as a ceremonial guardian to the couple and entertains the guests, sometimes for several hours. In Eastern Orthodox weddings in Greece, the best man is often also the koumbaros, or religious sponsor, who crowns the couple and participates in circling the altar three times. In Ukraine, the best man is responsible for guarding the bride and may have to pay a ransom if she is "kidnapped".

The groom's friend can be the best man

While it is not mandatory for the best man to be married, in some cultures, it is preferred. For example, in Uganda, a best man is expected to be married, ideally to one wife, so that he can guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage and offer sound and tried-and-tested advice.

In terms of wedding planning, it is important to note that the spouses of the best man and groomsmen may feel left out or awkward if they are not included in certain activities. To avoid this, some couples choose to include spouses and partners in pre-wedding events, such as getting ready together, or assign them tasks such as setting up the ceremony space or rounding up guests for shuttle buses. Others ensure that spouses and partners are seated together during the reception, rather than separating them from their significant others.

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