Having Two Maids Of Honor: Is It Possible?

Selecting your bridal party is one of the most exciting parts of the wedding planning process. But what if you want more than one maid of honour?

Well, you can absolutely have two maids of honour at your wedding. Wedding expert Jen Glantz says, When it comes to selecting who you want as part of your bridal party, there aren't any rules, except to do what will make your entire wedding experience less stressful and more enjoyable. So if that means picking two maids of honour, you absolutely can do that.

Mariama Delph, CEO of MDC Event Design, agrees, saying, There are no rules to follow and brides should customise their day to have their own unique experiences.

Making the decision

Deciding who to include in your bridal party is a big decision, but it's also a fun one to make. It can be difficult to select a single maid of honor, but luckily, you don't have to choose. You can absolutely have two maids of honor at your wedding if that's what you want. It's your wedding, so you make the rules and can plan your day however you want.

If you're having trouble deciding, ask yourself why you're hesitating and get advice from the pros to help you make the final decision. Ask yourself why each person is important to you, and why they feel like the right choice for the maid of honor. What role has each person played in your life, and what role will they play in your future? Only pick the person or people you want as your maid of honor because you adore them, they support you, and you know they will show up for you during your wedding adventure.

Remember, this is your day, and your true friends and close family members will respect this decision. If you feel worried about hurting someone's feelings, it's best to communicate your decision early on and share why you made them a bridesmaid instead of the maid of honor. You can keep it simple and say something like: "You know how much I value our relationship and friendship. It was a hard decision figuring out who to have as my maid of honor, and I want you to know how much it means to me that you'll be a part of this wedding adventure by my side and how much you mean to me as a friend."

If you're still unsure, consider the pros and cons of having two maids of honor.

Pros of Having Two Maids of Honor

• Having the love and support of multiple people is never wrong. Extra maids of honor could mean twice the love during the planning phases of your wedding and on your big day.
• Having two maids of honor means there are more hands on deck to help with wedding planning and duties.
• You can divide the maid of honor duties fairly. For example, consider having one person give a toast at the rehearsal dinner and the other give a speech at the reception.

Cons of Having Two Maids of Honor

• Clashing personalities and jealousy between the maids of honor are two possibilities. If your maids of honor have different personalities, it could result in conflict.
• It can be tricky in terms of divvying up the duties—there may be overlap when it comes to decision-making and who is responsible for what.

Duties and responsibilities

Yes, you can absolutely have two maids of honor at your wedding. It is your wedding, so you make the rules! If you are close with two people and can't choose between them, then make them both maids of honor.

The maid of honor is the bride's right-hand woman and is responsible for leading all of the bridal party-related tasks. Here is a list of duties and responsibilities to consider:

• Support the bride: The maid of honor should be the bride's confidant and provide emotional support throughout the planning process and on the wedding day.
• Communicate with the bridal party: The maid of honor should introduce the bridesmaids to each other and set up a group chat or an easy form of communication.
• Compile a budget: The maid of honor should discuss budgets with the bridal party to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the expenses.
• Deal with conflicts: The maid of honor should mediate any conflicts within the bridal party to ensure that the bride doesn't have added stress.
• Act as a point of contact: The maid of honor is often seen as the main point of contact for guests and should be prepared to answer any questions.
• Attend wedding dress shopping: The maid of honor may be invited to wedding dress shopping appointments to provide her opinion and support the bride.
• Help choose bridesmaid dresses: The maid of honor should help the bride choose bridesmaid dresses and coordinate shopping trips and orders.
• Plan the bridal shower: The maid of honor is usually responsible for planning the bridal shower, including choosing a date, selecting a venue, and organizing games and activities.
• Plan the bachelorette party: The maid of honor should plan the bachelorette party, taking into account the bride's wishes and the budget of the bridal party.
• Create an emergency kit: The maid of honor should create an emergency kit with items like safety pins and fashion tape for the wedding day.
• Enforce the timeline: The maid of honor should review the schedule and communicate important times to the bridal party to ensure everyone is where they need to be.
• Field vendor questions: The maid of honor should be the main point of contact for vendors on the wedding day and should liaise with the wedding planner if needed.
• Sign the marriage license: The maid of honor should sign the marriage license as a witness.
• Make sure the bride eats and drinks: One of the important duties of the maid of honor is to ensure that the bride is well-fed and hydrated throughout the day.
• Be a bathroom assistant: The maid of honor may need to help the bride in the restroom, especially if she is wearing a gown with a lot of material.
• Act as a hostess: The maid of honor can take it upon herself to play hostess during the reception, directing guests, and showing them where to sit or sign the guest book.
• Give a speech: The maid of honor typically gives a speech at the reception, summarizing her relationship with the couple and expressing love and congratulations.
• Collect gifts and cards: The maid of honor may need to collect any gifts or cards brought to the reception and ensure they are safely stored.
• Help with photos: The maid of honor may be needed for pictures with the bride and groom and the wedding party. She can also help arrange the bride's dress and veil for photos.
• Help the bride get ready: On the wedding day, the maid of honor should be at the venue early to help the bride get ready, including fixing her hair and makeup.
• Act as a messenger: The maid of honor may need to run notes or gifts between the bride and groom as they get ready.
• Play hostess and gatekeeper: The maid of honor should check in on important members of the bridal party, such as the bride's mother, and watch out for any family members who may stress the bride out.
• See if vendors are in place: If there is no wedding coordinator, the maid of honor should keep track of vendor arrivals and payments.
• Hold the bride's phone: If the bride prefers to be unplugged, the maid of honor can hold her phone or provide a portable charger.
• Give moral support: The maid of honor should be there to provide emotional support and help calm the bride's nerves.
• Last-minute errands: The maid of honor may need to help with last-minute errands, such as picking up flowers or getting the marriage license.
• Arrange the bride's train and veil: The maid of honor should ensure the bride looks her best in her wedding photos by arranging her train and veil.
• Walk down the aisle: The maid of honor is usually the last person to walk down the aisle before the bride.
• Be by the bride's side: During the ceremony, the maid of honor should be supportive, holding the bride's bouquet, and providing tissues if needed.
• Help with the first-kiss shot: The maid of honor should pull the wedding officiant out of the way to ensure the couple gets their first-kiss photo.
• Post-ceremony duties: After the ceremony, the maid of honor should continue to support the bride and ensure she is eating, drinking, and having a good time.

Dividing Responsibilities:

If you have two maids of honor, you can divide the responsibilities between them. Here are some suggestions:

• Let them plan important pre-wedding events: One maid of honor can plan the bachelorette party, while the other can plan the bridal shower.
• Give them different roles: One maid of honor can give a speech at the rehearsal dinner, while the other can speak at the reception.
• Assign specific duties: Be clear about expectations and assign specific duties to each maid of honor to avoid confusion and overlap.

Remember to choose your maids of honor wisely, ensure they get along, and clearly communicate their roles and responsibilities.

Dressing the part

When it comes to dressing your maids of honour, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to choose an outfit that complements the bridesmaids' dresses and fits within the overall style or theme of your wedding. You may want them to wear the same dress as the bridesmaids, but with a slightly different style, colour, or pattern to help them stand out. Alternatively, you could choose a completely different outfit for your maids of honour, such as a top and skirt or a jumpsuit in a coordinating colour.

If you have two maids of honour, you'll need to decide whether you want them to wear the same outfit or something different. You could opt for matching dresses with different accessories, such as a bejewelled belt or a special headpiece. Another idea is to have them wear coordinating prints or silhouettes that fit within your wedding palette.

It's also important to consider the accessories and small details that will make your maids of honour stand out. For example, they could carry matching bouquets with unique pops of colour or wear a special piece of jewellery.

In terms of hair and makeup, you may want to suggest a specific style or look that you would like them to achieve. Alternatively, you can give them free rein to choose their own style, as long as it fits within the overall theme of your wedding.

Remember to communicate your expectations clearly to your maids of honour and give them enough time to find or order their outfits and accessories. It's also a good idea to ask them for their input and feedback to ensure they feel comfortable and confident on your big day.

Walking down the aisle

Having two maids of honour is perfectly acceptable, and it's your wedding so you can do whatever you want! It can be a savvy move when it comes to the logistics of preparing for your big day.

If you're worried about the process of walking down the aisle, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it's important to remember that there are no rules about who walks down the aisle with whom. You could have both maids of honour walk with the best man, or you could have one maid of honour walk with the best man and the other walk behind you. If there is another VIP, like a brother, they could act as a second escort. Or, each of your maids of honour could walk down the aisle separately, emphasising their special role in the wedding party.

If you want to ensure equal involvement, you could have one maid of honour hold your bouquet during the ceremony, and the other sign the marriage license afterward.

It's also a good idea to be clear about responsibilities, especially if your maids of honour don't live near each other. This ensures both are involved and there's no confusion about duties. For example, one maid of honour could be in charge of the bachelorette party, while the other plans the bridal shower.

Remember, it's your wedding, so do what feels right for you!

Conflict resolution

Having two maids of honour can be a tricky situation to navigate, but it's certainly possible and can even be beneficial. Here are some tips for conflict resolution if you're considering having two maids of honour at your wedding:

Be Clear About Responsibilities

It's important to be clear and specific about each maid of honour's duties from the outset. This will help to avoid any confusion, overlap, or stepping on toes. For example, one maid of honour could be in charge of the bachelorette party, while the other plans the bridal shower. Clear communication will ensure everyone knows what is expected of them and can help prevent any misunderstandings or jealousy from arising.

Foster a Strong Partnership

Encourage your maids of honour to connect and foster a strong partnership. If they don't know each other well, help them get to know each other early in the wedding planning process. This will help them work together effectively and ensure they can communicate comfortably.

Ensure Equal Involvement

Make sure both maids of honour feel equally involved and valued. For example, if one holds your bouquet during the ceremony, the other could sign the marriage license afterward. This will help both parties feel included and make your special day even more memorable.

Show Appreciation

Show your maids of honour love and appreciation throughout the process. Write them heartfelt letters, have thoughtful conversations, or give meaningful gifts to express your gratitude. This will help them understand their importance in your life and make them feel valued.

Be Mindful of Personalities

When choosing two maids of honour, consider their personalities and how well you think they will mesh. Select people who are supportive and can work together without causing added stress or conflict. You don't want to be constantly refereeing between them.

Manage Expectations

Ensure you are choosing two maids of honour because it's what you truly want and not because you feel pressured or guilty. This is your day, and you can make it your own. However, be mindful of others' feelings and communicate your decision early on. It's okay to simply say that it was a difficult choice, and you value their friendship and support.

By following these tips, you can help resolve any potential conflicts and ensure that having two maids of honour adds to your special day without causing unnecessary drama or stress.

Frequently asked questions