Who Can Be A Gay Groom's Bridesmaid?

Bridesmaids are members of the bride's party at some traditional Western weddings. They are usually young women and often the bride's close friends or relatives. In recent years, the role of bridesmaids has become more flexible, with mixed-gender wedding parties becoming more common. In same-sex weddings, bridesmaids may be referred to as bridesmen or groomswomen, or the couple may choose to do away with gendered terms altogether and refer to their wedding party as attendants or bridal party members. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide how they want to structure their wedding party and what titles they want to use.

Mixed-gender wedding parties

In a mixed-gender wedding party, the terms "bridesmaids" and "groomsmen" can be replaced with more inclusive titles such as "bridesmen", "groomswomen", "best women", "wedding squads", or "bride tribes". For example, a male member of the bride's party could be called a "bridesman", "bride's attendant", "honor attendant", or "attendant". Alternatively, the couple may choose to refer to everyone as their "bridal party" or "wedding party".

The duties of a bridesman or groomswoman remain largely the same as those of a bridesmaid or groomsman. They are there to support the bride or groom and assist the maid or matron of honor with their tasks. This includes helping with wedding planning, attending pre-wedding events, and providing practical and emotional support on the wedding day.

When it comes to attire, mixed-gender wedding parties allow for more flexibility and self-expression. Bridesmaids can wear suits, bridesmen can wear dresses or suits, and groomswomen can wear suits. The look of bridal parties is transforming to include everyone, with a focus on comfort and individuality.

Ultimately, the decision of who stands by your side on your wedding day should be based on your relationships with them, rather than their gender. Mixed-gender wedding parties are a way to honor the diverse group of friends and family who have supported you and your partner on your journey towards marriage.

Non-gendered wedding attendants

The traditional wedding party, with bridesmaids and groomsmen, is evolving to reflect modern attitudes towards gender norms. Increasingly, couples are opting for non-gendered wedding attendants, also known as 'wedding squads' or 'bride tribes', that break the binary. This shift away from rigid gender norms is particularly notable in same-sex weddings, where the concept of a 'bride's side' and a 'groom's side' doesn't always apply.

The duties of non-gendered wedding attendants are largely the same as those of traditional bridesmaids and groomsmen. They are there to support the couple, assist with wedding planning, and participate in pre-wedding events and the wedding ceremony itself. The attire of these attendants is also flexible, with some bridesmaids choosing to wear pantsuits or other non-traditional outfits.

Ultimately, the choice of wedding attendants and their titles is a personal decision for the couple. By moving away from strict gender norms, couples can create a wedding party that truly reflects their unique relationships and modern values.

Duties of a bridesmaid at a gay wedding

A bridesmaid at a gay wedding can be referred to as a bridesman or groomswoman, or the title can be ditched altogether and everyone can be called wedding attendants. The role of a bridesmaid is usually to accompany and support the bride or groom and assist the maid of honour with their tasks.

Before the Wedding

• Communicate with the couple to understand their expectations and what is required of you.
• Assist with planning the Hen Do, Bachelorette party, or Fox Party.
• Help the maid of honour with any tasks, such as DIY projects.
• Shop for wedding attire and be punctual for all fittings and alterations.
• Offer your honest opinions on wedding hair, makeup, and clothing.
• Maintain peace and ensure everyone gets along, diffusing any awkward situations or unnecessary drama.
• Attend the rehearsal dinner.
• Liaise with the other bridesmaids to choose a small gift for the couple as a memento.

During the Wedding

• Host a pamper night or a gentle pub crawl for the couple and their party to relax and chat about any final details.
• Lay out all accessories and jewellery and prep any emergency kits.
• Hold a final run-through of the wedding itinerary with the other bridesmaids and ushers.
• Hold onto the couple's personal belongings, such as their phone or perfume, and organise a small bag to carry these items.
• Keep your spirits high and try to be the first person on the dance floor to lift the atmosphere and include everyone in the festivities.

After the Wedding

• Return any rentals.
• Send any pictures you took to the group chat.

Remember, it is important to be supportive and reliable throughout the process and to communicate with the couple to understand their expectations and needs.

Alternative titles for a gay bridesmaid

There are several alternative titles for a gay bridesmaid. Here are some suggestions:

Bridesman, Bride's Attendant, Honour Attendant, or Bridal Party Member

These titles are more gender-inclusive and recognise the important role that the individual will play in the wedding, regardless of their gender.

Man of Honour or Best Man

The equivalent of a ""Maid of Honour" for a male attendee is a "Man of Honour". This title is fitting for the best friend of the bride or groom and recognises their special role in the wedding. Alternatively, the title "Best Man" can be used for the groom's male best friend, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Groomslady, Groomswoman, or Groom's Lady

These titles are often used when a female friend or relative of the groom wants to play a role in the wedding party. It acknowledges their closeness to the groom and their important role in the wedding.

Wedding Attendant or Wedding Squad

These titles are gender-neutral and can be used for any member of the wedding party, regardless of their relationship to the bride or groom. "Wedding Attendant" is more formal, while "Wedding Squad" is more light-hearted and fun.

Captain of the Guard

This title is creative and unique, perfect for someone who wants to stand out from the traditional roles. It was used by a couple who wanted to incorporate their diverse group of friends into their ceremony and avoid the traditional separation of men and women.

Ultimately, the titles can be chosen based on what feels most comfortable and fitting for the individuals involved. It's important to consider the preferences and identities of the people involved and choose titles that honour and celebrate their roles in the wedding.

History of the bridesmaid tradition

The tradition of having bridesmaids at weddings has a long and varied history.

In ancient Rome, Roman law required 10 witnesses to be present at a wedding, and these were usually friends of the bride and groom, thus creating the 'bridal party'. Bridesmaids and groomsmen were dressed like the bride and groom to confuse vengeful spirits or jealous suitors who might try to harm the newlyweds. This tradition of dressing alike may also have stemmed from Queen Victoria's wedding to Prince Albert in 1840, where she and her attendants all wore white.

In biblical times, bridesmaids were not friends or relatives but servants or slaves of the bride. In the Book of Genesis, Jacob's two wives, Leah and Rachel, were escorted to the wedding by their own servants, their 'brides' maids'.

In China during the feudal era, bridesmaids protected the bride from being kidnapped by rival clans and hooligans by dressing identically to her.

In the Victorian era, white was the official colour for both male groomsmen and female bridesmaids, and this was also the case in ancient times, where the bride and all the bridesmaids wore the same dress and heavily veiled their faces.

In modern times, bridesmaids are usually close friends or relatives of the bride, and are there to assist the maid of honour and support the bride.

Frequently asked questions