How To Graciously Handle Wedding Plus-One Requests

Planning a wedding guest list can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to deciding who gets a plus-one. While there are no set rules, wedding etiquette suggests that certain guests traditionally receive a plus-one, such as those who are married, engaged, or living together. Wedding party members and out-of-town guests who won't know many other attendees are also commonly offered the option to bring a plus-one. Ultimately, the decision comes down to the couple's preferences, budget, and venue capacity. It's important to be mindful of the social dynamics and seating arrangements when considering plus-ones. Guests should also be respectful of the couple's wishes and only bring a plus-one if explicitly invited to do so.

Married, engaged, and cohabiting guests traditionally receive a plus-one

When it comes to wedding guest lists, it's often tricky to decide who should get a plus-one. While there are no hard and fast rules, there are some traditional guidelines and best practices to follow.

Additionally, it's worth considering guests in serious and long-term relationships for a plus-one, especially if you don't know their partner well. This acknowledges their commitment and ensures they feel comfortable and included. If budget and space allow, it's a thoughtful gesture to offer a plus-one to out-of-town guests or those who don't know many other attendees, so they don't feel lonely or out of place.

When deciding on plus-ones, it's essential to keep your budget, venue capacity, and the number of people you want at your wedding in mind. You might create an "`A`" list of guests who are must-haves for a plus-one and a "`B`" list of guests you'd like to include if possible. This way, you can manage expectations and stay within your limits.

Everyone in the bridal party should receive a plus-one

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and one of the most important considerations is who to invite. This includes deciding whether to allow plus-ones, and if so, who gets to bring a guest.

The bridal party has likely spent a lot of time, energy, and money on your wedding, so it is only fair to allow them to bring a plus-one. This is a way to show your appreciation for their support and commitment throughout your engagement and wedding. It is also a way to ensure they feel comfortable and have a good time at the wedding.

• Time, Love, and Energy: Your bridal party has likely been by your side throughout the entire wedding planning process, from dress shopping to planning your bachelorette party. They have given you their time, love, and energy, and a plus-one is a small token of appreciation for their efforts.
• Financial Considerations: Being in a bridal party can be expensive, with costs for attire, lodging, and transportation quickly adding up. Allowing a plus-one is a way to thank them for their financial contribution to your special day.
• Awkward Pairings: The person each member of the bridal party walks down the aisle with is likely not their date or significant other. While you may think they make the perfect pair, it can be awkward to force a setup, especially if you are just trying to avoid the plus-one issue.
• Flying Solo: Attending a wedding alone can be uncomfortable and lonely, especially if the bridal party member is from out of town and doesn't know many people. Allowing a plus-one can alleviate some of this discomfort and give them someone familiar to spend time with.
• Romantic Events: Weddings are romantic events, and it is only fair to let your bridal party enjoy the reception with their romantic partner.
• Seating Arrangements: If you have a head table, consider seating arrangements that allow bridal party members to sit with their plus-ones. This could mean having a sweetheart table for just the bride and groom, or larger tables that accommodate the bridal party and their guests.

In conclusion, allowing everyone in the bridal party to bring a plus-one is a courteous move that shows your appreciation for their time, energy, and financial contributions. It also ensures that they feel comfortable and have someone familiar to spend time with during the wedding celebrations.

For additional guests, have clear criteria

Deciding on who should get a plus-one can be a daunting task. To ease any stress and confusion, it's important to establish clear and consistent criteria. Here are some tips to help you navigate this delicate matter:

Be Consistent

If you allow one single guest outside the bridal party to invite a casual partner or friend, it is only fair to extend the same courtesy to all single guests. This helps to avoid any accusations of favouritism and ensures that everyone feels treated equally. However, weddings are expensive, and accommodating numerous extra guests may not be feasible for your budget.

Set Clear Criteria

If budget constraints or other factors prevent you from offering plus-ones to all single guests, establish clear and easily explainable criteria about who can invite an additional guest. For example, you may choose to only allow your single attendants or wedding party members to bring an extra person. This ensures that those who have dedicated their time, energy, and resources to your wedding have the opportunity to experience it with a companion.

Consider Special Circumstances

There may be certain situations where extending a plus-one is a thoughtful gesture. For instance, if you have invited only a few single people who would greatly benefit from having a date by their side, or if a guest is travelling a long distance to attend and doesn't know anyone else at the wedding. Use your discretion and consider the unique circumstances of your guest list.

Know Your Limits

Be realistic about your venue capacity and budget constraints when deciding on your guest list. It's better to be conservative in your estimates than to have to retract any plus-ones due to inviting too many people. Create an ""A" list of guests who are a must-invite and a "B" list of guests you would like to include if possible. This will help you manage expectations and stick to your limits.

Communicate Clearly

When designing your wedding invitations and RSVP cards, use clear and formal wording to indicate whether a plus-one is offered. Swap out the term "plus-one" for "invited guest" to maintain consistency and avoid any confusion. Include a space on the RSVP for the primary guest to provide the name of their plus-one, which will be useful for seating arrangements and place cards.

Don't worry about returning plus-one favours

It's natural to feel obliged to return the favour if you were allowed to bring a plus-one to a friend's wedding. However, wedding planner Matthew David Hopkins advises that you shouldn't feel pressured to do so. Your wedding is unique, and it's perfectly acceptable to make different decisions about plus-ones. If your friends don't understand, explain your reasoning, and they should be able to respect your wishes.

That being said, it's important to make an effort to ensure single guests feel comfortable and welcomed at your wedding. Work on your seating plan to ensure that single guests are seated with people they know or, at the very least, with friendly personalities who will make them feel at ease.

If you're worried about the potential cost implications of offering plus-ones, it's worth noting that you don't have to provide a plus-one to everyone. It's common to reserve plus-ones for married, engaged, or cohabiting guests, as well as members of the wedding party. You can also offer plus-ones to guests who are travelling long distances to attend or who won't know many other people at the wedding.

Ultimately, the decision about who to offer plus-ones to is up to you and your partner. Don't feel pressured to offer plus-ones if it doesn't work for your budget or venue capacity.

Include the plus-one on the invitation

There are several ways to include a plus-one on a wedding invitation. Traditionally, wedding invitations have an outer and inner envelope. The outer envelope is addressed to the recipient, and the inner envelope lists the names of those invited, such as children or plus-ones. For example, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mrs. Valerie Smith", and the inner envelope can include "Mrs. Valerie Smith & Guest".

If you are using only one envelope or sending an online invitation, be sure to address all invitees clearly and upfront. If the couple is in a relationship, list both guests by their full names. If you are allowing a guest to bring a casual date, write your friend's name and then "and guest". For example, "Mr. James R. Smith and guest".

If you know the name of the plus-one, it is best to include it on the invitation. This makes the invitation more formal than just "guest", and it is also polite to have their name written and spelled correctly. If you are including a plus-one, it is also helpful to include the number of invitees on the RSVP card. For example, "_ out of 2 will be attending". This will help to eliminate any extras that someone may want to invite.

Frequently asked questions