Planning Large Weddings: What's Next?

The COVID-19 pandemic has had a huge impact on the wedding industry, with many couples forced to cancel, postpone, or drastically alter their plans. While some chose to elope or have intimate ceremonies, others held out for the big celebration they had always dreamed of. As restrictions have lifted, large weddings have been able to go ahead in some places, but this has not been without controversy. In New York State, for example, a federal judge's decision to allow two upstate weddings of over 50 people went against the governor's executive order prohibiting large gatherings. The state argued that large weddings endangered public health and were significantly different from restaurants or outdoor graduations, which operated under different conditions.

Large weddings during the pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted many aspects of life, including weddings. While some couples chose to delay their weddings or elope, others pushed forward with their plans, sparking debates about the safety and legality of large weddings during the pandemic.

The Challenges of Large Weddings During the Pandemic

During the pandemic, large weddings were a subject of controversy due to concerns about virus transmission. Health experts and government officials implemented restrictions on large gatherings, including weddings, to curb the spread of COVID-19. These restrictions varied by location and changed over time as case numbers fluctuated. For example, in the United Kingdom, the government initially allowed weddings with a maximum of 30 attendees, but later clarified that this rule only applied to the wedding ceremony, not the reception. Similarly, in New York State, there was a limit of 50 people for social gatherings, which caused confusion and debate about whether this included weddings.

Safety Concerns

Health officials expressed concerns about the safety of large weddings during the pandemic. State Health Commissioner Howard Zucker highlighted the differences between a typical restaurant dining situation and a wedding celebration. He pointed out that at weddings, guests arrive and leave at similar times, mingle closely, and spend extended periods in the event space, increasing the likelihood of COVID-19 transmission. Additionally, the probability of virus transmission increases with group size, as larger groups provide more opportunities for interaction and the chance of encountering an asymptomatic carrier. These concerns were supported by reports of a "super-spreader" wedding in India, where the groom died, and over 100 guests fell ill.

Impact on the Wedding Industry

The pandemic significantly impacted the wedding industry, with marriage rates declining sharply. However, the industry began to recover as restrictions eased, and forecasts predicted a "major marriage boom." Couples rushed to book venues, and vendors, venues, and planners struggled to keep up with the surge in demand. Despite the challenges, some couples chose to move forward with their large weddings, sparking legal debates about the restrictions.

Legal Debates and Exemptions

In some cases, couples challenged the restrictions on large gatherings, arguing that they were an "unprecedented abuse of power" and violated their constitutional rights. For example, in New York State, two couples sued, claiming that the 50-person limit discriminated against weddings and that they should be allowed larger gatherings similar to outdoor graduations and public protests. A federal judge ruled in their favor, allowing their weddings with 115 and 175 guests to proceed. However, this ruling was met with criticism from government officials and sparked concerns about the potential impact on public health.

In summary, large weddings during the pandemic posed challenges, safety concerns, and legal debates. While some couples chose to postpone or downsize their weddings, others pushed back against restrictions, highlighting the ongoing tension between public health measures and individual rights during the pandemic.

Legalities of large weddings

The legal status of large weddings has been a contentious issue during the COVID-19 pandemic during, with different countries and states imposing varying restrictions. In this regard, it is essential to be aware of the specific rules and regulations in your location. Here are some key considerations regarding the legalities of large weddings:

• Guest Limits: The number of guests permitted at weddings has been a focal point of restrictions. For example, in New York State, there was a limit of 50 people for gatherings, including weddings, during the pandemic. However, this was challenged in court by couples who argued that it infringed on their constitutional rights. The state appealed the ruling, citing public health concerns. In contrast, the UK initially allowed weddings with a maximum of 30 people, but this only applied to the ceremony, not the reception.
• Venue Capacity and Physical Distancing: Restrictions on venue capacity and physical distancing guidelines have also played a significant role in determining the legality of large weddings. For instance, Australia implemented a three-step plan for easing COVID-19 restrictions, with weddings allowed to have 10, 20, or 100 guests, depending on the step. Additionally, venues were required to maintain an average of one person per four square meters, impacting the maximum number of guests.
• Timing and Location: The timing and location of your wedding can significantly impact its legality. For example, if you plan a large wedding during a period of stricter restrictions, you may need to postpone or downsize. Additionally, interstate or international travel restrictions may affect the ability of guests to attend, requiring alternative arrangements.
• Health and Safety Protocols: To ensure the safety of guests, health and safety protocols must be adhered to. This includes recording the contact details of all attendees for potential contact tracing, encouraging social distancing, and following local guidelines for mask-wearing and other preventative measures.
• Legal Marriage Requirements: Aside from COVID-19 restrictions, it is essential to understand the legal requirements for a valid marriage. This may include obtaining a marriage license, meeting residency requirements, and complying with any waiting periods or blood tests mandated by the local jurisdiction.
• Destination Weddings: If you plan a destination wedding, research the legal requirements for getting married in that location. Some countries may have residency restrictions or require specific paperwork, translations, and waiting periods. Consider having the legal ceremony in your home country to simplify the process.

In conclusion, the legalities of large weddings vary depending on your location and the specific COVID-19 restrictions in place. It is crucial to stay informed about the latest guidelines and work closely with your venue and suppliers to ensure compliance. While large weddings may be restricted during certain periods, there are often alternatives, such as downsizing, livestreaming, or postponing the celebration until restrictions ease.

Advantages of small weddings

While some couples dream of a big wedding, there are many advantages to keeping things small and intimate. Here are some of the benefits of a small wedding:

Cost-Saving

With a smaller guest list, you'll save money on food, drink, invitations, transport, and rentals. You'll also need fewer tables and chairs, so you can cut costs on floral arrangements and linens. This budget flexibility allows you to splurge on other things, like a dream photographer, your dream venue, or a luxurious honeymoon.

Venue Options

Large weddings are often restricted to traditional venues that can accommodate the size of the event. With a small wedding, you can choose unusual venues like your favourite restaurant, your parents' backyard, a historic inn, an aquarium, or even a bookstore.

Design Flexibility

With a small wedding, you can allocate more of your budget to design elements like floral installations, stunning tablescapes, calligraphy signage, or a hand-painted wedding cake.

Less Overwhelming

A small wedding is ideal for introverts or those who feel overwhelmed by big crowds. You'll be able to enjoy personal moments, like exchanging vows or your first dance, without the pressure of hundreds of eyes on you. You can also skip the formal receiving line and engage with your guests in a more natural, relaxed way.

Easier Planning

Planning a wedding for hundreds of guests is a logistical challenge. A small wedding is a less stressful option, especially if you're planning a destination wedding. With a smaller guest list, you'll have an easier time organising travel, transport, hotels, and itineraries.

Fewer Invite Dilemmas

With a small wedding, you can avoid the pressure of inviting distant relatives, colleagues, or acquaintances. You can simply let people know that you're keeping things small, and they'll understand. On the day, you'll be surrounded by your favourite people, and you won't have to worry about hurt feelings or awkward conversations.

Planning a large wedding

Start Early and Stay Organized:

Give yourself plenty of time to plan, ideally around a year. Create a master checklist to keep track of tasks, and use tools like spreadsheets, apps, and wedding planning books to stay organized. Involve your partner in the process, and don't be afraid to delegate tasks to your wedding party, family, and friends.

Determine Your Budget and Priorities:

Discuss your budget with your partner and any contributing family members. Be realistic and stick to it. Identify your top three priorities, whether it's the venue, date, photographer, or band, and be willing to compromise on less important aspects.

Choose Your Venue and Vendors:

Research venues that can accommodate your guest count and fit your vision. Consider "on-site" venues with catering options to simplify planning. When choosing vendors, don't rush into decisions. Meet with several options, ensure they understand your vision and budget, and review contracts closely.

Manage Your Guest List:

Creating your guest list can be complicated. Involve key family members and decide whether children are invited and who gets a plus one. Be mindful of your venue's capacity and budget constraints when finalizing the list.

Set the Tone:

Determine your wedding style and theme. This could be based on the season, specific colors, or a particular concept like the Roaring Twenties. Use this theme to guide your design decisions and create a cohesive look and feel for your wedding.

Take Care of Logistics:

Book hotel room blocks for out-of-town guests and transportation for the wedding party and guests, if needed. Choose your wedding party wisely, and ensure they understand their responsibilities. Select your wedding attire, including dresses, suits, and accessories, and don't forget to insure your rings.

Personalize Your Wedding:

Add personal touches that reflect your culture, family traditions, or unique interests. Incorporate these elements into your decor, music, food, or any other aspect of your wedding that you desire.

Don't Forget the Legalities:

Research the requirements for obtaining a marriage license and give yourself enough time to gather the necessary documents. This is a crucial step to ensure your wedding is legally recognized.

Take Time for Self-Care:

Large weddings in different cultures

Large weddings are a common feature of many cultures, though they can vary in their specific traditions and customs. Here is a look at some large wedding traditions from around the world:

Armenian Weddings

Armenian weddings are grand affairs with a strong focus on family involvement. The proposal, known as "Khosk-Arnel", usually takes place at the bride's family home, with the groom's family arriving with treats and everyone sipping tea together to celebrate. Throughout the wedding, the family remains central to the celebrations. One unique tradition is the breaking of plates by the bride's mother-in-law to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck to the couple.

Nigerian Weddings

Nigerian weddings are known for their abundance of colours and can include traditional, church, and court weddings. The traditional wedding ceremony involves elders and officials sipping wine and negotiating the bride price, which consists of gifts such as shoes, textiles, jewellery, and bags. The bride is then presented to the groom, family, and guests in a colourful and festive manner.

Chinese Weddings

Chinese weddings often include a tea ceremony where the couple serves tea to their parents as a sign of honour and respect. In return, the parents usually give red envelopes with money as a wedding gift. Red is considered an auspicious colour in Chinese weddings, symbolizing loyalty, honour, fertility, and love. Another unique tradition is the playing of "wedding door games", where the bride's bridesmaids challenge the groom with a series of tests before he can "rescue" his bride.

Cuban Weddings

Cuban weddings are typically secular and include music, dancing, and delicious food. One unique tradition is the "money dance", where every man who dances with the bride pins money to her dress to help pay for the honeymoon. This is a common tradition in many Latin American cultures.

German Weddings

German weddings have several unique traditions, including "Polterabend", where guests throw porcelain dishes on the ground to ward off evil spirits, and the couple then cleans up the pieces together as a symbol of teamwork. Another tradition is "Baumstamm sägen", where the couple saws through a log together to demonstrate their ability to overcome obstacles in their marriage.

Congolese Weddings

Congolese weddings are characterized by the absence of smiling from the couple, as grinning is considered evidence that they are not serious about the marriage. Instead, the couple maintains a stoic expression throughout the ceremony and reception.

These examples only scratch the surface of the diverse and fascinating wedding traditions found around the world, each reflecting the cultural and historical context of the region.

Frequently asked questions