Atheist Wedding Officiants: Legality And Recognition

Atheists can officiate weddings, but the process varies depending on the location. In the United States, for example, it's possible to get ordained online through organisations like American Marriage Ministries (AMM), which welcomes atheists and agnostics. However, in other countries like Australia, one needs to be qualified to become a wedding celebrant. For those who don't want to go through the process of getting ordained, a judge or clerk at a courthouse can officiate the wedding, or a professional wedding officiant can be hired to perform a secular ceremony.

Ask a friend or family member to officiate

If you're an atheist or non-religious and want to have a civil or secular marriage ceremony, you can ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding. They can get ordained online through American Marriage Ministries (AMM) for free and officiate your wedding as an AMM Minister. AMM Ministers don't have to hold any specific religious beliefs or have any spiritual beliefs at all—atheists and agnostics are welcome!

To become ordained with AMM, your friend or family member only needs to believe in AMM's three tenets, which are grounded in marriage equality for all people:

• All people, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation, have the right to marry.
• It is the right of every couple to choose who will solemnize their marriage.
• All people have the right to solemnize marriage.

Once your chosen officiant is ordained, they might need to register with the local government before the ceremony, depending on the state. After the ceremony, they will have the authority to legally sign your marriage license as an AMM Minister.

Your friend or family member can perform any type of wedding ceremony you want, in almost any location, and including any wording, special readings, or unique traditions you desire. They can also use a simple officiant script as a starting point and customise it to your liking.

Asking someone close to you to officiate your wedding can be a great way to make your ceremony more personal and meaningful. It gives them the opportunity to share stories about your relationship and articulate your love for one another in a way that resonates with you and your beliefs.

Get married by a judge or clerk at a courthouse

If you're looking for a no-fuss, non-religious wedding, getting married at a courthouse is a great option. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you plan your special day.

Choose the Right Location

Pick a courthouse that holds special significance for you and your partner. It could be the place where you met, fell in love, or currently live. Don't feel limited to just your local courthouse if it doesn't feel right. You can even travel to another destination and make it part of your honeymoon or a fun-filled family vacation.

Research Marriage License Requirements

The process of obtaining a marriage license varies from city to city and county to county. Some states require you to apply for the license in the town where the wedding will take place, and there may be a waiting period before you can get married. Be sure to research the requirements for your chosen location.

Apply for the Marriage License

Once you know the requirements, it's time to apply. You'll typically need valid photo identification, such as a driver's license or passport, and if either of you has been divorced, you'll need a copy of the final dissolution papers. There may be a fee for the marriage license, and keep in mind that it usually has an expiration date, so plan your wedding date accordingly.

Gather Your Essentials

Before your wedding date, gather all the necessary paperwork, including your marriage license, identification, and payment for the ceremony if you haven't already paid. Don't forget to arrange for at least one adult witness, and some locations may require two.

Plan Your Ceremony

Now for the fun part—planning your ceremony! You can personalize your day even without a traditional ceremony. Decide on your attire, which can be as formal or casual as you like. Check the guest capacity for your chosen courthouse and invite your closest family and friends. You may also want to hire a photographer to capture the special moments.

Celebrate!

A courthouse wedding ceremony is typically brief, so plan what you want to do afterward. You might want to jet off to your honeymoon, enjoy a quiet reception, or have a larger celebration with family and friends. There's no "right" way to celebrate—do what brings you and your partner joy!

Getting Married by a Judge or Clerk

When you choose to get married at a courthouse, your officiant will typically be a judge, justice of the peace, notary, or city clerk—someone well-practiced at performing civil ceremonies. They will read from a simple script, ask for your declaration of intent ("I do"), and pronounce you married. After the ceremony, they will sign your marriage license, and you will receive your marriage certificate.

Hire a professional wedding officiant

If you're an atheist or non-religious couple looking for a professional wedding officiant, you have plenty of options. Wedding officiants are often specialised in their field and can perform non-religious weddings.

• Interview several officiants: Meet with a few potential officiants to determine how well they fit your needs. Ask if they are comfortable performing an atheist wedding and ensure they know to avoid any religious or spiritual wording during the ceremony.
• Discuss your preferences: Be clear about your expectations and discuss any specific phrases or words you want to be included or avoided during the ceremony. For example, words like 'holy matrimony' or 'sacred union' may have religious connotations that you wish to exclude.
• Check their specialisations: When searching for officiants, look for those who specialise in secular, civil, or non-religious weddings. They will be more experienced in creating ceremonies that align with your beliefs and values.
• Seek recommendations: Talk to other couples who have recently hired an officiant for their non-religious wedding. They can provide recommendations or point you in the right direction.
• Utilise online resources: Search for professional officiants online using Google Business Profiles by searching for "wedding officiant near me". You can also explore vendor websites like The Knot, Wedding Wire, and The Officiant Directory. Wedding planning forums on social media platforms like Facebook and Discord are great places to connect with other couples and seek their suggestions.
• Consider your venue and event planner: Your venue and event planner may have valuable insights and can refer you to an officiant who regularly performs weddings at your chosen location. This can ensure a smoother experience as the officiant will already be familiar with the venue and its procedures.
• Read reviews: If you're unsure where to start, reading reviews or checking out real weddings in your area can provide valuable insights. Learning about other couples' experiences with different officiants can help you determine if they might be a good fit for your special day.
• Meet with local houses of worship: If you are open to the idea, you can consider reaching out to local houses of worship, even if you are not a member. Inquire about their officiant services and the requirements, which may include attending classes, making donations, or joining the organisation.
• Ask about registration: Depending on your location, your officiant may need to register with the local government or the clerk's office before the ceremony. This requirement varies by state or region, so be sure to clarify this detail in advance.
• Sign a contract: Before finalising your decision, be sure to discuss and sign a contract with your chosen officiant. This will outline the expectations and responsibilities of all parties involved.

Remember, the right officiant for your wedding will depend on the style, size, level of formality, and location of your ceremony. Take the time to consider your priorities and what type of atmosphere you wish to create for your special day.

Get recommendations from married friends or relatives

If you're an atheist looking to get married, you may be considering asking a friend or family member to officiate your wedding. It's an honour to be asked to officiate a loved one's wedding, but it's also a big responsibility. Here are some recommendations from married friends or relatives who have been through the process:

• "Do your research on the legal requirements. It's important to check if an online ordination is considered a legal way to become a minister in your state. Some states have specific requirements, such as filing the marriage license, age requirements, or blood tests. In some cases, the officiant may need to register with the local government or the clerk's office before the ceremony."
• "Spend time with the couple and get to know their wedding vision and style. Do they want a traditional or a more original and heartfelt ceremony? It's a good idea to interview the couple and discuss their philosophy of love and marriage, their favourite poems, and how they want to incorporate their heritage into the ceremony."
• "Make sure you're clear on who is responsible for what. Are you writing the ceremony yourself, or will you be writing it together with the couple? Be sure to set some deadlines so that you have time to share it with the couple, get feedback, and make revisions."
• "Don't forget to plan your sound system! You don't want the guests to miss out on hearing the ceremony due to environmental noise or a large number of guests. Rehearsals are also a great idea to put everyone at ease and ensure the ceremony runs smoothly."
• "Remember to track the marriage license. It's the couple's responsibility to obtain the license, but remind them to do so within the required time frame. On the wedding day, the couple or wedding party will need to have the license on hand for you to sign."

Ask your venue or event planner

If you're unsure of where to start with finding an officiant for your wedding, your venue or event planner can be a great resource. They can refer you to an officiant who regularly performs weddings at the venue, which can help your day go more smoothly as they will already be familiar with how things are run there.

Your venue and event planner can also advise on the practicalities of the ceremony, such as the layout of the room, the order of the day, and any legal requirements. They will be able to tell you if there are any restrictions on the type of ceremony or officiant allowed at the venue, and whether any registration with the clerk's office is required.

If you are planning a non-religious wedding, it is important to choose an officiant who is comfortable with performing this type of ceremony and who knows to avoid any religious or spiritual wording. Your venue and event planner may have already worked with officiants who fit this description, or know of others in the area.

Remember that choosing an officiant is one of the most important steps in the wedding planning process, so be sure to meet with your officiant at least once before the big day to ensure they understand your vision and requirements.

Frequently asked questions