Ring-Bearing Tots: Can A 2-Year-Old Do The Job?

Including a two-year-old as a ring bearer in a wedding ceremony is a controversial topic. Some people think that a two-year-old is too young to be a ring bearer, as they might not be able to walk down the aisle without assistance, or might throw a tantrum. Others think that toddlers are adorable and that their unpredictable behaviour will only add to the charm of the ceremony.

If you do decide to include a two-year-old ring bearer, it is recommended that you give them fake rings to carry, and that you have a backup plan in case they get overwhelmed or scared.

How to prepare a 2-year-old for the role

Preparing a 2-year-old for the role of ring bearer can be a fun and memorable experience, but it requires some thoughtful planning. Here are some tips to help your little one shine on the big day:

Practice and Rehearsal:

Start by explaining to the child what a ring bearer does and why their role is important. Practice walking down the aisle with them, and consider having them join the wedding rehearsal to familiarise themselves with the setting and the bridal party. This will help boost their confidence and reduce the chances of feeling overwhelmed on the day.

Choose a Comfortable Outfit:

Select an outfit for the ring bearer that is comfortable and suits the wedding theme. Consider the weather and venue to ensure the child stays cosy or cool enough. Suspenders, bow ties, and little suits or tuxedos are adorable options.

Provide a Reassuring Companion:

Assign a trusted adult or older child to accompany the 2-year-old ring bearer down the aisle. This can be a parent, sibling, or another member of the bridal party. Their presence will provide reassurance and gentle guidance to the little one.

Use Fake Rings:

Opt for fake rings or a decorative pillow instead of the actual wedding bands. This reduces the risk of losing valuable jewellery and takes the pressure off the child. The best man or officiant can hold the real rings.

Prepare a Backup Plan:

Anticipate that a 2-year-old's behaviour can be unpredictable. Discuss backup plans with the child's parents, such as having a toy or treat on hand to distract them if needed. It's also a good idea to have a designated caregiver who can take the child to a quiet place if they become overwhelmed or fussy.

Keep it Short and Sweet:

Young children have limited attention spans, so it's best to keep their role brief. They can walk down the aisle, perhaps holding hands with a flower girl or another companion, and then be seated with their family or a favourite relative.

Manage Expectations:

Remember that the charm of having a 2-year-old ring bearer lies in their spontaneity and unpredictability. Be prepared to embrace any unexpected moments, knowing that these often make for heartwarming memories and delightful stories.

Involving a 2-year-old as a ring bearer is a special way to include them in your wedding, and with a bit of preparation, it can be a smooth and enjoyable experience for all.

Whether to give the child real or fake rings

When it comes to whether the child should be given real or fake rings, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, the age and maturity level of the child should be taken into account. If the child is very young or prone to putting things in their mouth, it is best to give them fake rings or an empty pillow. This reduces the risk of losing the rings and ensures the child's safety.

Another option is to tie plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow, giving the full effect without the risk. If you do choose to give the child the real wedding rings, it is advisable to have the wedding planner or a member of the wedding party hand them to the ring bearer just before the ceremony begins. This further reduces the risk of losing the rings.

Some couples may also choose to have the best man carry the real rings, especially if the ring bearer is very young. Ultimately, the decision comes down to what the couple is most comfortable with and the capabilities of the child involved. It is important to be flexible and prepared for any outcome when including young children in a wedding party.

What to do if the child has a tantrum

It is not uncommon for a 2-year-old to be a ring bearer at a wedding. However, it is important to remember that young children are unpredictable and may not always follow the plan. If the child has a tantrum, here are some things you can do:

Before the Tantrum

• Be prepared for the tantrum. Tantrums are a normal part of child development, and they can happen for various reasons, such as tiredness, hunger, or discomfort.
• Identify the triggers and plan ahead. For example, schedule activities when the child is well-rested and fed.
• Teach the child some key word signs for emotions like "angry" or "hungry" if they are still learning to speak.
• Rehearse the child's role with them. This can help them understand their responsibilities and feel more comfortable on the day.

During the Tantrum

• Stay calm and don't take the tantrum personally. Remember that young children are still developing their social, emotional, and language skills, so they may struggle to communicate their needs effectively.
• Keep the child and others nearby safe. If necessary, carry the child to a quiet and safe place.
• Acknowledge the child's emotions and speak slowly and calmly. Offer comfort and reassurance that you understand their feelings.
• Be consistent and don't give in to demands. This will help the child understand that tantrums are not an effective way to get what they want.
• Try a "paradoxical instruction" by giving the child permission to express their emotions until they are ready to stop.

After the Tantrum

• Comfort the child and offer reassurance. Let them know that they are loved, no matter what.
• Talk about emotions after the child has calmed down. Help them understand their feelings and discuss alternative ways to express their frustration.
• Praise the child for regaining control and encourage good behaviour.

Whether to include a 2-year-old if there are no other children at the wedding

Deciding whether to include a 2-year-old in your wedding when there are no other children can be a tricky decision. Here are some things to consider:

The Role of the Child

If you decide to include a 2-year-old in your wedding, it is important to assign them an appropriate role. While flower girls and ring bearers are traditionally between the ages of 3 and 7, some couples choose to have younger children in these roles. However, it is important to note that 2-year-olds may not be able to carry out the duties of a flower girl or ring bearer, such as scattering flower petals or carrying the rings. You could consider having them walk down the aisle with a parent or older sibling, or even pulled in a wagon. Alternatively, you could assign them a different role, such as handing out the order of service or managing the guest book.

The Child's Temperament

When deciding whether to include a 2-year-old in your wedding, it is important to consider their temperament. Toddlers are known for tantrums and may not be able to sit still or pay attention during the ceremony. If the child is rambunctious or easily distracted, it might be better to assign them a less structured role or include them only in the pictures. However, some 2-year-olds may surprise you with their ability to walk down the aisle and perform their duties. It is important to be flexible and prepared for any outcome.

The Child's Parents

If you are considering including a 2-year-old in your wedding, it is important to communicate with their parents. The parents may need to make arrangements for childcare or be prepared to walk their child down the aisle and handle any potential meltdowns. It is also a thoughtful gesture to invite the child's parents to the reception, especially if they have made special arrangements for their child to be a part of your wedding.

The Wedding Logistics

Including a 2-year-old in your wedding may require some additional planning and coordination. You may need to provide entertainment or activities for the child, such as colouring books or snacks. If the child is part of the wedding party, you may want to include them in the rehearsal to help them feel more comfortable and familiar with the surroundings. It is also a good idea to have a backup plan in case the child becomes overwhelmed or tired.

Ultimately, the decision to include a 2-year-old in your wedding when there are no other children is a personal one. It is important to consider the child's temperament, the role you would like them to play, and the logistics of including them in your special day.

Whether to have a 2-year-old ring bearer at all

There are a few things to consider when deciding whether to have a two-year-old ring bearer at your wedding. Firstly, it is important to remember that you do not have to have a ring bearer at all. If you are set on having one, however, there are a few pros and cons to having a two-year-old in this role.

On the one hand, toddlers can be adorable and many guests will find their presence charming and entertaining. If you are close with the child, it can also be a great way to include them in your special day. However, two-year-olds are typically quite unpredictable and may have a hard time focusing on the task at hand. They may wander off, have a tantrum, or refuse to walk down the aisle at all. If you do decide to have a two-year-old ring bearer, it is a good idea to have a backup plan in place, such as having an adult walk with them or carry them down the aisle.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to have a two-year-old ring bearer is a personal one and will depend on your comfort level with potential disruptions and the child's temperament.

Frequently asked questions