German Wedding Guest List: Are Children Invited?

German weddings are a fun and lively affair, with many unique traditions and customs. From Polterabend to Brautentführung, these traditions date back centuries and are considered sacred by many. But are kids invited to these celebrations? Well, that depends on the couple getting married and their preferences. While there is no set rule about inviting children to German weddings, it is common for the guest list to include family members of all ages. So, if you're planning to tie the knot in Germany, the decision to include kids is entirely up to you!

Children's attendance depends on the couple

When it comes to inviting children to a German wedding, the decision ultimately rests with the couple. While there are no set rules or cultural expectations regarding the inclusion of kids, there are a few things to keep in mind.

Firstly, German weddings tend to be smaller and more intimate affairs compared to other cultures. This means that the guest list is typically limited to close friends and family, and it may be less common to see children in attendance. However, this is by no means a strict rule, and the couple may choose to include children if they are important to them or if it is a family-oriented event.

Secondly, German weddings often involve a variety of traditions and activities that may or may not be suitable for children. For example, the Polterabend tradition, where guests bring old porcelain to break and the couple cleans it up together, could be a fun and unique experience for kids to participate in. On the other hand, some of the more adult-oriented traditions, such as bar hopping at the bachelor and bachelorette parties or drinking games at the reception, may not be appropriate for younger guests.

Additionally, it's worth noting that German weddings usually extend well into the night, with after-parties and pranks that may not be suitable for children. The decision to include children in these late-night festivities would depend on the couple's preferences and the parents' comfort level.

When deciding whether to invite children to a German wedding, it's important to consider the couple's relationship with the children in question. If the couple has a close bond with their young relatives or the children of their friends, they may want to include them as a way to celebrate with their loved ones. On the other hand, if the couple doesn't have a strong connection with children or prefers a more adult-oriented event, they may choose to have an adults-only wedding.

Ultimately, the decision to invite children to a German wedding rests with the couple, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. By taking into account the couple's relationship with the children, the nature of the wedding traditions and activities, and the expected duration of the event, they can make an informed choice that aligns with their vision for their special day.

Kids may be involved in games

German weddings are often filled with a variety of traditional games and activities, with most German wedding games meant to symbolize the bride and groom overcoming challenges together. These games are usually planned and managed by wedding guests, allowing the newlyweds to remain carefree on their special day.

Baumstamm Sägen (Cutting of the Log)

The newlyweds must face their first challenge as a married couple: sawing a wooden log in half. This symbolizes their first task as a team and their ability to work together.

Brautentführung (Kidnapping of the Bride)

The kidnapping of the bride is a fun prank and a German wedding tradition that dates back centuries. The best man "steals" the bride after the wedding ceremony, and they go out drinking with the groom's friends. The groom then sets out on a mission to track down his new spouse, and once he finds his better half, he is responsible for picking up everyone's tab.

Veil Dance

Also known as Schleiertanz, this is a German twist on the traditional bouquet toss. As part of the custom, the newly married couple dances under the bride's veil, which is then torn to shreds by the single female wedding guests. Legend has it that the person with the largest piece of fabric is the next in line to be married.

Hopscotch

For an outdoor wedding, drawing a hopscotch grid or creating one using large foam tiles can be a fun way for kids to burn off some energy.

Scavenger Hunt

Create a scavenger hunt list filled with pictures or words of wedding-related items such as the wedding cake, a ring, shoes, a dress, and balloons. Supply the kids with disposable cameras and let them loose to find the items and capture creative photos.

Giant Lawn Games

Set up classic lawn games such as giant Jenga, Connect Four, or a ring toss. These games are not only fun for kids but can also be enjoyed by guests of all ages.

Art Creation

Guests of all ages, including kids, can be invited to contribute to a piece of art for the couple's new life together. Provide a large canvas and ask each guest to paint or decorate a small square. As each guest contributes, the canvas fills up with unique and creative paintings, resulting in a meaningful keepsake for the newlyweds to display in their home.

Gifts for children

If you are looking for gift ideas for children attending a German wedding, here are some suggestions:

Traditional Gifts

If you want to stick to tradition, a German wedding gift typically involves giving money. This can be a simple cash gift in a fancy card, or the money can be folded into interesting shapes or put inside a balloon. If you want to give a gift that is unique to your country, consider giving something local, like pottery or handmade glass from local artisans. Fortnum and Mason hamper is also a good option if you are from England.

Gift Registries

Some German couples create a gift registry, called a Hochzeitstisch or "wedding table", where they set up a table at a particular store with chosen gifts that friends and family can buy from. Nowadays, online registries are also becoming more popular in Germany, where guests can purchase gifts that will be gift-wrapped and delivered. If the couple has a gift registry, it is best to choose a gift from that list to avoid any duplicates.

Personalised Gifts

If you want to give something more personalised, consider a gift that is meaningful to the child's interests or hobbies. For example, if the child is interested in art, you could give them a nice set of art supplies or a book about a famous German artist. If the child enjoys sports, you could give them a new football or a basketball hoop.

Experience Gifts

Another option is to give an experience gift, such as tickets to a local amusement park or a voucher for a fun activity like bowling or ice skating. This can create lasting memories for the child and provide an opportunity for them to spend quality time with their family or friends.

Practical Gifts

If you prefer to give a practical gift, consider something that the child can use in their daily life. For example, a nice backpack, a fun water bottle, or a personalised pencil case filled with school supplies. You could also give a gift voucher to a local store so the child can choose their own gift.

Remember, the best gifts come from the heart and show that you have put thought into what the recipient may appreciate or find useful.

Childcare options

If you are planning to invite children to your German wedding, you may want to consider offering childcare options to keep young guests entertained throughout the day. Here are some childcare options to consider:

Nurseries or Crèches (Kinderkrippe)

Nurseries or crèches are suitable for children aged 0-3 and can be run by the state, private companies, individuals, or voluntary groups such as churches. These usually charge a fee and offer flexible hours, with sessions running from around 7:00 or 8:00 AM to 1:00 PM or later. While some nurseries provide meals, others do not, so be sure to check this beforehand.

Preschools (Kindergärten)

Preschools cater to children aged 3-6 and, although not compulsory, over 90% of German children enroll. Sessions are more structured than nurseries, with some lessons taught by qualified educators. Like nurseries, preschools usually operate from 7:00 or 8:00 AM to 5:00 or 6:00 PM. While some preschools provide meals, others may require children to bring a packed lunch and snacks.

Childminders (Tagespflege) or Nannies (Kinderfrau)

Childminders typically care for children in their own homes, while nannies provide childcare in the child's home. Both options cater to children of all ages. Childminders often work evenings and weekends and can be more flexible than daycare centers. Nannies usually live with the family and work full-time, performing duties such as meal preparation, washing, and bedtime routines.

Au Pairs

Au pairs are typically young people from overseas who provide live-in childcare and perform other duties for around 30 hours a week. They are a more affordable option than nannies but may have less formal childcare qualifications. Au pairs are not considered employees, so there are no tax or social security arrangements, and payment is usually in the form of a weekly or monthly allowance.

Babysitters

Babysitters are often used for one-off appointments or nights out. They can be teenagers or retired professionals and are typically paid an hourly rate. Many people use friends or neighbors as babysitters, but you can also find babysitters through online platforms or social media groups.

Child-friendly food

Including children in your wedding dinner doesn't have to mean resorting to plain dishes. With some expert catering advice, you can plan a kid-friendly wedding menu that will turn your youngest guests into sophisticated foodies. Here are some ideas for child-friendly food that is both tasty and elegant:

Finger Foods

• Chicken nuggets
• Grilled cheese/PB&J sandwiches
• French fries
• Fresh fruit (cut)
• Fried mac and cheese lollipops
• Flatbread and cheese bites
• Bite-sized meatballs with fork pins
• Grilled cheese sandwiches cut into unique shapes
• Small fruit or veggie skewers
• Mini sandwiches
• Veggie spring rolls or wraps

Packaged Snacks

Consider providing pre-packaged/bagged snacks for the youngsters to grab and go. This avoids the issue of dirty fingers in shared bowls of snacks.

Drinks

Instead of cheap, sugary juices, opt for natural juice boxes or sugar-free options. Kids will likely get their hands on plenty of sweets, so controlling their sugar intake is beneficial. Fruit juices, water, and sodas are often favoured by children and can be served in reusable cups with secure caps and straws.

Desserts

Set up a dessert table for the kids with non-messy, low-sugar treats such as:

• Bite-sized cookies
• Fruit kebabs
• Pretzels
• Rice crispy treats
• Fruit roll-ups
• Low-calorie macaroons
• Chocolate-covered strawberries
• Mini cupcakes
• Cotton candy
• Marshmallow bites

Frequently asked questions