Bridesmaids' Gifts: Wedding And Shower Expectations Explained

Being a bridesmaid is an honour, but it can also be a big financial commitment. Aside from the costs of the bridesmaid dress, accessories, hair, and makeup, it is customary for bridesmaids to give the couple a wedding gift. But what about the bridal shower? Are bridesmaids expected to buy a gift for the bride at this event as well? The short answer is yes. The purpose of a bridal shower is to shower the bride with gifts, so it is customary to bring a gift to this event as well. However, if a bridesmaid is hosting the bridal shower, she is not required to spend a lot of money on a gift for the bride. Instead, she can opt for a more affordable gift or contribute to a group gift with the other bridesmaids.

Should bridesmaids give a wedding gift?

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a big financial commitment. Aside from the costs of the bridesmaid dress, accessories, hair, and makeup, there's also the expectation of gift-giving. But what are the expectations and etiquette when it comes to bridesmaids and wedding gifts?

The Short Answer

The short answer is yes, it is customary for bridesmaids to give the couple a wedding gift. This is in addition to any other gifts you may be expected to give at pre-wedding events, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, or bachelorette party. However, there are ways to manage expectations and be thoughtful without breaking the bank.

Pre-Wedding Events

The Engagement Party

If the couple is having an engagement party, it is thoughtful to bring a gift to congratulate the happy couple. However, it is not a requirement, especially if you are travelling for the event. A nice bottle of wine or something to help the couple with their wedding planning journey, such as toasting flutes or a cake knife, are all great options.

The Bridal Shower

The purpose of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts, so it is customary to bring a gift for the couple. If you are hosting or contributing financially to the event, you are not expected to spend a lot of money on an additional gift. You can select something from the couple's registry or opt for a personalised or themed gift.

The Bachelorette Party

As a bridesmaid, you will likely be involved in planning and paying for the bachelorette party. This is a significant expense, and you are not expected to give an additional gift. However, if the bachelorette party includes a lingerie shower, you will be expected to bring lingerie or sleepwear for the bride.

The Wedding Gift

When it comes to the wedding gift itself, standard etiquette suggests that bridesmaids should gift the couple something meaningful and thoughtful. As a member of the bridal party, you likely know the couple well, so choose something that reflects their personalities and tastes. If the couple has a registry, you can also select an item from that list. In terms of budget, it is typical to spend between $100 to $150 if you are attending the wedding alone. If you are bringing a plus-one, you may want to consider spending a bit more.

Ways to Save

Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, but there are ways to be thoughtful without breaking the bank:

• Group gifts: Consider joining forces with the other bridesmaids to purchase a larger, more meaningful gift for the couple.
• Multi-part gifts: If you are invited to multiple pre-wedding events, you can buy a multi-part gift and give one piece at each event. For example, a set of kitchen utensils or baking pans from the registry.
• Themed gifts: Instead of one expensive gift, opt for several small, themed gifts that collectively create a thoughtful package.
• Cheap registry items: Wedding guests often aim for more expensive registry items, so you can save money by choosing the cheaper options. The couple will still appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gift.
• Personalised gifts: A personalised, non-registry gift can be a more affordable option while still holding sentimental value. For example, a book of recipes contributed by friends and family or a photo album of pre-wedding festivities.

Should bridesmaids give a bridal shower gift?

Being a bridesmaid is a big honor, but it can also be a big financial commitment. Aside from the costs of attire, travel, and accommodations, there is an expectation for bridesmaids to bring or contribute to gifts for the happy couple at each stage of the wedding process.

Bridal Shower Gifts

The purpose of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts, so it is customary for bridesmaids to contribute to the cost of the event or bring a gift. If you are hosting the bridal shower, you are not required to spend a lot of money on an extravagant gift. Instead, you can buy a more affordable wedding gift or contribute to a group gift with the other bridesmaids.

Wedding Gifts

It is customary for bridesmaids to give the couple a wedding gift. This can be an item from their registry or a meaningful and thoughtful piece. If you are struggling financially, you can ask the other bridesmaids to chip in on a present or give the bride a handwritten card.

Engagement Party Gifts

If the couple is having an engagement party, it is thoughtful to bring a gift, but it is not required. A bottle of wine or something useful for the couple's planning journey, like toasting flutes or a cake knife, are good options. If you are travelling to the engagement party, there is less pressure to bring a gift.

Bachelorette Party Gifts

Bridesmaids are usually responsible for planning and paying for the bachelorette party. Since this can be a significant expense, you are not expected to give an additional gift. However, if the bachelorette party involves a lingerie shower, you will be expected to bring intimates or sleepwear for the bride.

Rehearsal Dinner Gifts

The rehearsal dinner is an extension of the wedding, and you will have already purchased a gift by this point, so there is no need to spend money on another gift. Instead, you can share fond memories or give a speech to celebrate the couple.

Should bridesmaids give gifts at pre-wedding events?

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a big financial commitment. Aside from the costs of attire, travel, and accommodation, there is an expectation for bridesmaids to give gifts at several pre-wedding events. So, what is expected of bridesmaids when it comes to gift-giving?

The Engagement Party

If the couple is having an engagement party, it is considered thoughtful to bring a gift, but it is not mandatory. As the engagement party usually takes place early on in the planning process, the couple likely won't have a registry yet. A nice bottle of wine or something to help with their wedding planning is a good option. If you are travelling to attend the engagement party, there is less pressure to bring a gift.

The Bridal Shower

The purpose of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts, so it is customary to bring a gift. If you are hosting the bridal shower, you are not expected to spend a lot of money on an extravagant gift as well. It is common for the host to include the bride's registry information on the invitation, so you can select something from the curated list. Alternatively, you can opt for a group gift with the other bridesmaids.

The Bachelorette Party

Planning and paying for the bachelorette party is one of the biggest responsibilities of a bridesmaid. As you are already investing a lot of money into this event, you are not expected to give an additional gift. The exception is if the bachelorette party includes a lingerie shower, in which case you are expected to bring lingerie or sleepwear for the bride.

The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is an extension of the wedding, and as you will have already purchased a wedding gift, you are not expected to bring another gift. Instead, you can share fond memories or give a speech to celebrate the couple.

The Wedding

Standard etiquette states that bridesmaids should give a wedding gift to the couple. You can either choose something from the registry or a meaningful and thoughtful gift. If you are short on funds, you can ask other bridesmaids to chip in for a group gift, or you can give a handwritten card.

Tips for Saving Money

The costs of being a bridesmaid can add up quickly, so here are some tips to save money on gifts:

• If you are invited to multiple pre-wedding events, you can buy a multi-part gift and give one piece at each event.
• Opt for cheaper items on the registry—the couple will appreciate it no matter the cost.
• Go in on a group gift with the other bridesmaids to reduce the cost per person.
• Get a personalised gift that isn't on the registry, which can be more affordable than a traditional wedding gift.
• If you can't afford to attend all the pre-wedding events, it is perfectly acceptable to decline and save up for the shower or bachelorette party.

Remember, the most important gift you are giving the bride is your presence and support on their special day.

Should bridesmaids pay for their own hair and makeup?

Being a bridesmaid is a complicated and expensive role, with expectations and expenses that can quickly add up. Bridesmaids are usually expected to cover the costs of their dresses, shoes, accessories, hair, and makeup for the wedding day. However, it is not always clear if bridesmaids should pay for their own hair and makeup.

If the bride has the budget and wants the bridesmaids to have their hair and makeup done professionally, she may offer to cover these costs. This is especially true if there is a large bridal party, as the bride may not be able to cover all the expenses. In this case, the bridesmaids can graciously offer to pay for their own hair and makeup, but this should be planned in advance so the stylist can schedule enough time.

On the other hand, if the bridesmaids would prefer to use their own hair stylist or makeup artist, they can usually purchase those services themselves. Ultimately, it is up to the bride to decide whether or not to cover these costs, and it is standard for her to also provide transportation to and from the wedding venue and a gift for her bridesmaids.

While it is customary for bridesmaids to give the couple a wedding gift, the costs of hair and makeup can be quite expensive. To save money, bridesmaids can opt to do their own hair and makeup or split the cost with the other bridesmaids. It is important to discuss these options with the bride in advance to ensure that everyone is on the same page and to allow for proper planning.

In conclusion, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of whether bridesmaids should pay for their own hair and makeup. The decision depends on various factors, including the bride's budget, the size of the bridal party, and the preferences of the bridesmaids. Open communication between the bride and her bridesmaids is key to ensuring that everyone is happy and that the wedding day runs smoothly.

Should bridesmaids pay for the bride's bachelorette party?

Being a bridesmaid can be expensive. Aside from the dress and accessories, there are also hair and makeup to consider, as well as gifts for pre-wedding events like the engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelorette party.

The bachelorette party is one of the most costly pre-wedding events. According to Abbie Clinton, CEO of bachelorette party planning company Got Your Bash, the average cost of a bachelorette party is about $1,000 per person for a three-night stay, excluding flights. The cost of the bachelorette party is typically split between the bridesmaids and any other guests, and it is customary for the group to cover most, if not all, of the bride's expenses. This includes food, drinks, activities, and decorations.

For local bachelorette parties, each guest is expected to pay their share of the bill, plus the bride's expenses. If the bachelorette party involves travelling to another destination, the guests usually pay for their own costs, including travel and accommodation, but not the bride's. The bride typically covers her own airfare and lodging, and may even chip in to help alleviate the financial burden on her guests.

The maid of honor usually takes the lead on planning and hosting the bachelorette party, and as such, may be expected to front some of the costs for group meals and activities until the other attendees can pay her back. It is common for the group to treat the bride to dinner and drinks, but the bride is expected to cover the rest of her meals. Any gifts for the bride are an additional expense.

To save money, it is recommended that the group discusses the budget before making any plans, to ensure everyone is comfortable with the cost. They can also opt for more affordable accommodations, add budget-friendly activities to the itinerary, or opt for a unique alternative, like an at-home movie night or a group cooking class, instead of a weekend away.

Frequently asked questions