Married Women As Bridesmaids: Is It Okay?

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, from picking the perfect venue to choosing a date, and assembling the dream team of bridesmaids. One of the most frequently asked questions is whether bridesmaids can be married. In the past, bridesmaids were typically unmarried young women, and it was believed that if a bride tripped while walking down the aisle, she would never get married. However, times have changed, and nowadays, a bridesmaid can be anyone the bride chooses, regardless of their age, civil status, or sexual orientation. The most important factor is the closeness and relationship between the bride and her bridesmaids. So, if you're wondering whether your married friends can be your bridesmaids, the answer is a resounding yes!

Yes, bridesmaids can be married

There is a common misconception that bridesmaids must be unmarried, but this is an outdated tradition. Bridesmaids can be anyone the bride chooses—a friend, relative, or even a male friend or relative. What matters most is their closeness and relationship to the bride.

In the past, bridesmaids were typically unmarried young women chosen by the bride's family based on social status. This tradition can be traced back to ancient Rome, where it was believed that having bridesmaids and groomsmen dress alike would confuse and prevent vindictive spirits or jealous suitors from causing harm to the couple. In ancient Roman culture, the matron of honour was a married woman who served as a role model for the bride-to-be, symbolising fidelity for the impending marriage.

However, times have changed, and so have wedding traditions. Today, brides are free to choose their nearest and dearest friends and family members to stand by their side on their wedding day, regardless of their marital status.

So, if you're a bride-to-be, don't stress about whether your bridesmaids are married or single. Focus on building your dream team of supportive and fun people who will bring you joy on your special day!

The chief bridesmaid is called the maid of honour if unmarried, or matron of honour if married

While bridesmaids were traditionally unmarried, this is no longer the case. Bridesmaids can be married, single, divorced, or hold any other civil status. What matters is their closeness and relationship to the bride.

However, the title of the chief bridesmaid, or maid of honour, does change if she is married. A married chief bridesmaid is called a "matron of honour". This term was used in ancient Roman times, where the matron of honour served as a role model for the bride-to-be, symbolising fidelity for the impending marriage.

The bride can also choose to use a different title, such as "best woman", "woman of honour", or she can forgo a title altogether. Ultimately, there are no rules, and the bridal party can be composed of anyone the bride chooses, regardless of their marital status.

Bridesmaids don't have to walk down the aisle with their spouse

Bridesmaids can be married, single, divorced, or hold any other marital status. The only traditional rule that may apply is that a married maid of honour may be referred to as a "matron of honour". However, this is not a strict rule and you can choose whatever title you prefer.

There is no requirement for a bridesmaid to walk down the aisle with their spouse, or for their spouse to be in the wedding party at all. It is entirely common to have a married bridesmaid without their partner in the bridal party. You can pair up dating, engaged, or married bridesmaids and groomsmen, but it is not necessary.

When choosing your bridesmaids, it is most important to focus on building your dream team. Take your time, consider their abilities, and be respectful of their time and budget. There are no rules when it comes to your bridal party, so do what feels right for you!

Bridesmaids can be male

The idea that only women can be bridesmaids is a thing of the past. Nowadays, gender-inclusive wedding parties are becoming more and more common, with bridesmaids being anyone the bride chooses, regardless of their age, civil status, or sexual orientation. This means that bridesmaids can be male, and they are often referred to as "bridesmen".

A bridesman is usually a close male friend or family member chosen by the bride to be a member of the bridal party. They have similar roles and responsibilities as female bridesmaids, such as offering emotional support to the bride, helping with wedding projects, and attending pre-wedding events and activities like the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

When it comes to attire, a bridesman can either wear a suit that blends in with the bridal party's color scheme or the same suit as the groomsmen with an accessory that matches the bridesmaids' palette. For example, a coordinated tie, bow tie, or pocket square in a color that complements the bridesmaids' dresses. The most important thing is to ensure that the bridesman feels included and part of the bridal party, and that their outfit is cohesive with the overall wedding party's look.

In terms of pre-wedding activities, it is a good idea to facilitate introductions between the bridesman and the other bridesmaids, especially if they don't know each other. This can be done through casual lunches, happy hours, or early events like an engagement party or bachelorette party.

On the day of the wedding, the bridesman can be included in photo opportunities with the bride and bridesmaids, and can help run last-minute errands. They can also be asked to interact with guests and get the dancing started at the reception.

Overall, having a bridesman is a great way to include a close male friend or family member in the bridal party and ensure that the people who mean the most to the bride are by her side on her special day.

There's no rule that a bride must have female attendants

When it comes to weddings, there are many traditions and norms that have evolved over time. One question that often arises is whether a bride must have female attendants or if other options are possible. Here are some insights into this topic:

Historical Context

It is important to recognise that wedding traditions have changed significantly throughout history. In ancient Roman times, the matron of honour, a married woman, served as a role model for the bride-to-be, symbolising fidelity for the impending marriage. In some cultures, it was also considered a good opportunity for young, single women to attract a husband.

Breaking Free from Traditions

Today, however, there is a growing recognition that these traditions are not set in stone. Wedding planner Amber Sironen-Massey emphasises this freedom, stating, "There is so much caught up in tradition that couples forget they can do whatever they want. There really are no rules to a wedding." This shift towards personalisation allows couples to create a bridal party that truly reflects their joy, style, and support system.

Diverse Bridal Party Options

Modern weddings embrace diversity, and couples are no longer restricted by gender norms when selecting their bridal party. Grooms can have a "best woman" or "groomswomen," and brides can have male attendants or a "man of honour." These terms are simply labels, and couples can choose to refer to their bridal party members in whatever way they prefer.

Focus on Closeness and Support

Ultimately, the most important consideration when choosing a bridal party is the relationship and closeness between the individuals involved. As one source states, "Being chosen as a bridesmaid is undoubtedly an honour... The primary goal is to surround yourself with those who mean the most on your special day." This sentiment underscores the value of having a supportive network of loved ones, regardless of their gender or marital status.

Practical Considerations

When assembling your bridal party, it is also essential to consider their abilities, time availability, and budget constraints. Being a bridesmaid can be a significant commitment, and it is important to choose individuals who can fulfil the responsibilities and financial obligations that come with the role.

In conclusion, there is no rule that a bride must have female attendants. Couples have the freedom to assemble a bridal party that reflects their unique relationships and dynamic. By focusing on closeness, support, and practical considerations, they can create a memorable wedding celebration surrounded by their loved ones.

Frequently asked questions