Deborah Chan
The placement of the bride and groom at the altar is an important part of the wedding ceremony. While some couples choose to follow traditions, others opt for modern variations that suit their preferences and beliefs. In this regard, the question of which side the bride should stand on has multiple answers depending on the context.
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What You'll Learn
In Christian weddings, the bride stands on the left
> This is a tradition that actually dates back to the Middle Ages when the groom had to keep his sword hand at the ready in case he had to fight off anyone who tried to steal the bride away before he could marry her.
While this origin story may feel outdated, there are more romantic reasons for this tradition. One interpretation is that the groom stands with the bride to his left because that is the side his heart is on.
Today, couples have more freedom to choose their placement based on personal preference. For example, they may choose to stand on their good side to ensure their wedding photos look perfect.
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In Jewish weddings, the bride stands on the right
The wedding ceremony takes place under a chuppah or huppah, a canopy that symbolises the new home being constructed by the couple as they become husband and wife. The chuppah is considered the symbolic home of the groom, and he arrives at it before the bride, welcoming her into his home. The bride is escorted by her parents, with her father on the right and mother on the left, while the groom is escorted by his parents in a Jewish wedding.
The wedding party enters in a specific order, with the rabbi and/or cantor entering first, followed by the grandparents of the bride and groom. The grandparents are then seated in the first rows, with the groom's family on the left and the bride's family on the right. The groomsmen, best man, and groom then take their positions under the chuppah, followed by the bridesmaids, maid of honour, ring bearer, and flower girl. Finally, the bride enters, escorted by her parents.
After the ceremony, the procession is reversed, and the men in the wedding party escort the women. The bride and groom lead the procession, followed by the bride's parents, the groom's parents, and the grandparents of both. The rabbi and/or cantor bring up the rear.
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In Hindu weddings, the bride switches sides
Hindu weddings are colourful and vibrant, with celebrations that may extend for several days and are attended by a large number of people. The rituals and celebrations vary by region, preference, and the resources of the families involved. One of the pre-wedding rituals is the mehndi ceremony, a party attended by the bride's close female friends and family members. The haldi ceremony is another pre-wedding ritual that involves both sides of the family and is meant to cleanse and purify the couple before the wedding.
The actual wedding ceremony is conducted in Sanskrit, considered the language of holy ceremonies, and may also include the local language of the bride and groom. The primary witness of the wedding is the fire deity or Sacred Fire, Agni, in the presence of family and friends. One of the important rituals during the wedding is the saptapadi, where the couple has their garments tied together and walks seven steps together to signify their friendship. In North Indian tradition, they circle a ceremonial fire seven times, requesting blessings from the gods.
After the wedding, there are post-wedding ceremonies such as the Grihapravesa, which involves welcoming the bride to her new home. The couple then observes the stars Dhruva (the pole star) and Arundhati, with the husband pointing out the stars and praying for the strength and stability of their household.
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Same-sex couples can choose to follow the tradition or not
Same-sex couples can choose whether or not to follow the traditional positioning of the bride and groom at the altar. While many couples opt to embrace traditional altar placements, there are modern variations that are equally acceptable.
For example, in traditional Christian weddings, the bride typically stands on the groom's left, and the groom stands on her right. This tradition dates back to the Middle Ages when the groom needed to keep his sword hand free to protect his bride from potential attackers or hostile suitors. In Jewish weddings, however, the positions are reversed, with the bride on the right and the groom on the left.
Same-sex couples can choose to follow these traditions or create their own variations. They may decide to stand on the same side as their partner or switch sides during the ceremony. Some couples may also choose to face their guests at the start of the ceremony and then turn to face each other during the exchange of vows.
Ultimately, the decision on which side to stand is a personal preference, and couples should feel free to choose the arrangement that feels most comfortable and meaningful to them. They can consider factors such as their good side for photographs or even the direction of the wind for outdoor venues. More and more couples are also adopting the "let's merge the sides and be one family" approach, seating guests based on available space rather than traditional sides.
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Couples can choose to merge sides and be one family
While the traditional placement of the bride and groom at the altar is the bride on the left and the groom on the right, wedding traditions are constantly evolving, and modern couples are increasingly adopting the "let's merge the sides and be one family" tactic. This approach reflects the idea that the two families are becoming one through the union of the couple.
Ushers, if assigned, can seat guests based on which side has more available space, rather than adhering to the traditional separation of the bride's and groom's sides. This approach sends a message to the guests that the two families are merging as one, and it encourages them to follow suit.
For same-sex couples, the traditional placement may not apply, and they can choose to embrace it or create their own variation. In Jewish weddings, for example, the groom is typically on the left, and the bride is on the right. This tradition is based on the biblical verse, "at thy right hand doth stand the queen." In Hindu wedding ceremonies, the bride switches sides during different rituals, moving to the groom's left once the marriage is official, as it is believed to be the side closest to his heart.
Ultimately, the decision about where to stand during the ceremony is a personal preference for the couple. Some couples may choose to embrace traditional placements, while others may prefer to stand on their good side for photographs or for more practical reasons, such as hiding a tattoo. The couple's comfort and preference should be the priority, and guests are unlikely to notice or be concerned about which side the bride or groom is on.
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Frequently asked questions
The bride traditionally stands on the left side of the groom, who stands on the right. This tradition dates back to the Middle Ages when the groom would keep his sword arm free to protect his bride from potential attackers or hostile suitors. However, couples today may choose to stand wherever they prefer, and certain religions and cultures have their own traditions.
In Jewish weddings, the positions of the bride and groom are reversed, with the bride standing on the right and the groom on the left.
During a traditional Hindu wedding ceremony, the bride switches sides, moving from the groom's right side to his left once the marriage is official, as the left side is considered to be closest to the groom's heart.
For non-religious weddings, there is no "right" answer and couples can stand wherever they prefer.
