Franklin Dean
Planning a wedding can be an emotional experience, especially if you're missing a deceased parent. It's valid to feel their absence and want to honour them on your big day. There are many ways to do this, from including them in your wedding invitation wording to reserving a seat for them at the ceremony. You could also incorporate their memory into your wedding speech or wear a memento of theirs.
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What You'll Learn
Include them in your wedding speech
If you're looking for ways to include a deceased parent in your wedding speech, there are several options to consider. Here are some detailed suggestions to help you honour your loved one:
Firstly, it's important to determine if the deceased parent was close to the couple and how long it has been since they passed away. If they were emotionally close and their passing was recent, it is absolutely appropriate to include them in your speech.
One meaningful way to include them is by sharing anecdotes or stories. For example, if you are the mother of the bride and the bride's father has passed away, you could share a joyful story about the two of them. This could be something like: "From when [bride] was a little girl, she and her dad bonded over their love of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I would try to convince him that nightly ice cream wasn't the best choice, but he'd scoop out a dollop, and their eyes would light up as they shared this special dessert time."
Another option is to incorporate a memorial poem, prayer, or a meaningful quote into your speech. You could choose something classic or go with lyrics from a song that reminds you of your parent. Sharing these words with your guests will honour your loved one and help you feel their presence.
Additionally, if your parent was known for their culinary skills or had a special recipe, you can include it in your speech. You can say something like, "Although my dad couldn't be here today, we honour him by sharing his special pasta recipe with all of you. It was his signature dish, and we know he would have loved to cook it for this occasion."
If you have access to something your parent wrote or a letter they sent, consider incorporating their own words into your speech. It can be a powerful tribute to read their words aloud, or you could write your own letter, explaining what they meant to you and why their presence is still felt.
Finally, you can suggest a moment of silence during your speech to honour your deceased parent. This simple act can be a powerful way to include them in the festivities and provide a moment for everyone to reflect on their memory.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, so go with what feels right for you and your family.
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Reserve a seat for them at the ceremony
Honouring a deceased parent or loved one at your wedding is a beautiful way to feel their presence on your special day. Here are some thoughtful ways to reserve a seat for them at the ceremony:
The Reserved Seat
Create a reserved seat for your late parent at the front of the ceremony, symbolising their importance and presence at your wedding. You can place a small sign or a framed photograph of them on the chair. A sign could say, "Reserved for the late Mr. Thompson" or "Reserved in honour of Mrs. Smith". Alternatively, you can lay a single flower from your bouquet, a bouquet of flowers, or a white rose on the chair to symbolise remembrance and honour.
The Memorial Table
If you'd prefer not to have an empty chair, consider setting up a memorial table at the front of the reception hall. Display framed photographs, memorabilia, and flowers in their favourite colours or varieties. This allows guests to pause and reflect as they enter.
The Symbolic Gesture
If you're uncomfortable with the idea of an empty chair, you can opt for a more subtle approach. Place a white rose on the altar or include a candle lit in their memory during the ceremony. You can also incorporate their favourite flowers or colours into your decor or bouquet.
The Personal Touch
Incorporate a special moment dedicated to your late parent during the ceremony. You can share a few words of remembrance, say a prayer, or read a poem or letter written by or addressed to them. This can be an emotional way to honour their memory and include them in your celebration.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to reserving a seat for a deceased parent. Choose the option that feels right for you and don't be afraid to get creative. It's your special day, and honouring your loved one can make it even more meaningful and unique.
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Wear something of theirs
Wearing something of your deceased parent's is a wonderful way to feel their presence with you on your wedding day. It can be a very personal decision, but here are some ideas to consider:
Jewellery
If your parent had a favourite piece of jewellery, you could wear it on your wedding day. For example, a necklace, bracelet, or pair of cufflinks with their photo or a tie clip with their name or initials. You could also wear a pendant with their fingerprint or a small photo of them in a locket or ornamental frame attached to your dress or suit.
Accessories
Consider wearing a pocket square, handkerchief, or shoe charms with their photo. You could also incorporate their favourite colour into your outfit, such as a coloured ribbon or a fabric heart-shaped patch sewn into your outfit.
Clothing
If you want to wear something of theirs, consider a piece of clothing that you can incorporate into your wedding outfit. For example, a jacket, tie, or handkerchief. If you are wearing a suit, you could also wear their wedding ring tied into your boutonniere.
Sentimental Items
If your parent had a particular item that held sentimental value, consider wearing it. For example, a watch, a piece of their clothing sewn into a pocket, or a small item like a key chain or pin.
Borrowed Items
Following the tradition of "something borrowed," you could wear an item borrowed from a relative or friend of your deceased parent. This could be a special item that your parent cherished and would add a meaningful touch to your outfit.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to include your deceased parent in your wedding. Choose what feels right and meaningful to you, and don't be afraid to get creative or personalised items to honour their memory.
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Add a photo of them to your bouquet
One way to include a deceased parent in your wedding is to add a photo of them to your bouquet. This can be done by placing their photo in a small frame or ornamental locket and tying it to your bouquet as a charm. You could also put their photo in a heart-shaped locket and wrap it around your bouquet. This is a great way to feel like they are walking you down the aisle.
If you're an artist, you could draw or paint a portrait of your parent and display it in a small frame attached to your bouquet. Alternatively, you could choose a favourite photo to have specially framed. Either way, it's something you can showcase in your home long after the wedding.
When it comes to taking photos with your bouquet, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, make sure the colour of your bouquet doesn't clash with your dress. Your bouquet should coordinate with the colour and tone of your wedding dress. For example, if you're wearing an ivory dress, avoid a winter white flower bouquet as the warmth of the dress won't match the cool tones of the bouquet. It's also a good idea to bring a swatch of your dress when meeting with your florist so that they can help you plan the exact bouquet colour combination.
You'll also want to consider the size of your bouquet in relation to your frame size and dress size. A petite bride should have a smaller bouquet, and vice versa. You don't want your bouquet to be too heavy or too hard to hold, as this will make it difficult to capture beautiful photos.
There are many different poses you can do with your bouquet to capture stunning photos. You can have the bride standing with the bouquet, or sitting with the bouquet on her lap, which allows for a closer view of the bouquet details. You can also photograph the bouquet from various angles, such as from the front or side, or with the bride turned slightly to the side. If you want to showcase the front of the bride's dress, have her move the bouquet down to waist level and capture the bouquet in the centre of the frame.
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Play their favourite songs
Music is a powerful way to evoke emotions and memories, so playing your deceased parent's favourite songs at your wedding is a wonderful way to honour them. Here are some ideas to incorporate their favourite music into your special day:
Wedding Ceremony
If you want to include your parent's favourite music during the ceremony, you could forego traditional wedding songs and instead walk down the aisle to a song they loved. You could also play a meaningful song as you wait at the altar or sign the register. If you're having readings as part of your ceremony, you could dedicate a reading to your parent by selecting a passage or poem that reminds you of them.
Wedding Reception
Playing their favourite songs at your wedding reception is another great way to honour your parent. You could play these songs as you greet your guests or during the dancing celebrations in the evening. If you want to make it a more prominent tribute, you could ask your band or DJ to announce that the song is dedicated to your parent and invite your guests to join you on the dance floor in their honour.
First Dance
If you're comfortable with the idea, you could choose a song that reminds you of your parent for your first dance. This could be a song that you know they loved or one that evokes special memories.
Dinner
Playing a playlist of your parent's favourite songs during dinner is another option. You could even ask your MC to make an announcement before the dinner music starts, explaining that the songs have been chosen in memory of your parent. This can be a subtle yet powerful way to honour their memory and share their favourite music with your guests.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to include your deceased parent in your wedding. Choose the options that feel right and appropriate for you, and don't be afraid to get creative.
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Frequently asked questions
You can include your parent's memory in your wedding speech through prayer, a quote, a memorial poem, or a symbolic message.
You can wear a memento of your parent, such as their cufflinks, handkerchief, or a piece of jewellery they gave you. You could also wear their wedding outfit or add a photo locket of them to your bouquet.
You can include a tribute to your parent in your wedding program, such as a symbolic quote or a simple "In Loving Memory Of" message. You can also add their name to your wedding invitations, with the word "late" to indicate that they are no longer with you.
You can reserve a seat for your parent at the reception with a photo, flowers, or a candle. You could also create a memory box where guests can share their favourite memories of your parent, or display a photo of them at the reception venue.
You can incorporate your parent's favourite food or drink into your wedding menu, or play a song that reminds you of them. You could also visit their grave before or after the wedding and leave a bouquet of flowers.
