Chinese Wedding Attendance During Mourning: What's The Etiquette?

In Chinese culture, it is generally considered taboo for people in mourning to attend weddings or other celebratory events. This is believed to bring bad luck to the couple and show disrespect to the deceased. The mourning period typically lasts for 100 days after the death, during which mourners are expected to refrain from participating in social activities and entertainment. However, the duration of the mourning period can vary depending on religious and superstitious beliefs, ranging from 7 days to 3 years. While some people may still choose to follow these traditions, others may adjust the timeframe or not adhere to them at all. Ultimately, the decision to attend a Chinese wedding during mourning depends on individual beliefs and the level of traditionalism within the family.

Mourners are expected not to attend weddings within 100 days of a death

In Chinese culture, it is customary for mourners to refrain from attending weddings within 100 days of a death. This period of mourning is observed as a sign of respect for the deceased and to avoid bringing bad luck to the newlywed couple.

During this time, mourners are expected to avoid all celebrations and entertainment, including weddings, birthday parties, and festive gatherings. It is believed that participating in such events during the mourning period is disrespectful to the memory of the deceased.

The mourning period typically lasts for 100 days, after which it is considered acceptable for mourners to resume their social activities. However, some families may choose to extend this period to three years, especially in more traditional households.

It is worth noting that these customs are deeply rooted in Chinese culture and are often strictly followed to avoid any perceived negative consequences. While some may view these practices as outdated or unnecessary, many still adhere to them out of respect for their elders and to maintain harmony within their community.

Additionally, it is not just the mourners who are expected to abstain from weddings during this time. The couple getting married is also expected to avoid attending any funerals or visiting individuals who are ill or have recently given birth for three months before and after their wedding. This is believed to prevent a clash of luck or the transfer of bad luck between the two occasions.

It is considered disrespectful to the deceased to attend a wedding during mourning

In Chinese culture, it is considered disrespectful to the deceased to attend a wedding during mourning. This is because weddings are considered "red" affairs, associated with celebrations and joy, while mourning is a "white" affair, associated with grief and loss. Attending a wedding while in mourning is seen as disrespectful to the deceased and their family, as it suggests that one is not taking the time to properly mourn and reflect. Moreover, it is believed that attending a wedding while in mourning can bring bad luck to the couple, potentially leading to problems or even divorce.

In Chinese tradition, it is believed that one should refrain from attending weddings or other celebratory events within 100 days of a person's passing. This period is considered a time for mourning and reflection, and attending celebratory events is seen as inappropriate and disrespectful. During this time, it is expected that one will focus on honouring the memory of the deceased and allowing their emotions to settle. This period of mourning is also observed by the bride and groom, who are expected to refrain from attending any funerals or wakes for three months before and after their wedding to avoid any mix-up of good and bad luck that could impact their marriage.

For those who are mourning, it is recommended to postpone weddings until after the mourning period has ended. In Chinese culture, this period typically lasts for 100 days, after which it is considered respectful to hold a wedding. However, if one of the parents of the bride or groom passes away, the wedding may be conducted within 100 days of the death or postponed until three years (1000 days) later. This is to allow for a proper period of mourning and to honour the memory of the deceased parent.

The act of mourning and the associated taboos are taken very seriously in Chinese culture, as they are seen as a way to show respect to the deceased and their family. Attending a wedding during this time is considered a breach of etiquette and could bring dishonour to the family. Therefore, it is generally advised to refrain from attending weddings or other celebratory events while in mourning to avoid any disrespect to the deceased and potential bad luck for the couple.

While some people may choose to ignore these superstitions, it is important to respect the beliefs of those who follow them. If one is unsure about attending a wedding while in mourning, it is best to consult with the couple or their families to respect their traditions and avoid any potential issues. Ultimately, the decision to attend or not attend a wedding during mourning should be made with consideration for the cultural beliefs and values of those involved.

Mourning guests may bring bad luck to the wedding

In Chinese culture, it is generally considered taboo for a person in mourning to attend a wedding. This is because weddings are considered auspicious events, and it is believed that the presence of a person in mourning could bring bad luck to the couple.

According to Chinese superstition, a person in mourning should not attend any celebrations or entertainment within 100 days of the death as a form of respect for the deceased. This includes weddings, birthday parties, and festive visiting. It is believed that doing so would be disrespectful to the memory of the deceased.

In the case of a close relative's death, such as a parent, the wedding may be conducted within 100 days of the death or postponed until 1,000 days (3 years) after the death. This is done to show respect to the deceased and to avoid any potential bad luck that may come from the presence of mourners at the wedding.

Even if a person in mourning is not a close relative of the deceased, it is still generally considered disrespectful to attend a wedding while in mourning. It is believed that the mourning person should prioritise the funeral and offer their respect to the dead. If they still insist on attending the wedding, it is thought that their presence could bring bad luck to the couple, causing unnecessary problems or even leading to divorce.

To avoid any potential issues, it is generally recommended that persons in mourning do not attend weddings or other celebratory events. This is done out of respect for both the deceased and the couple, as well as to avoid any potential bad luck that may be brought upon the newlyweds.

A mourning period is not required if the deceased is a child or a wife

In Chinese culture, the death of a child or a wife does not require a mourning period. This is because, in the case of a child, respect cannot be shown to someone younger, and in the case of a wife, the husband is considered the head of the family and therefore takes precedence in mourning rituals.

However, this does not mean that there are no rituals or practices to be observed when a child or wife passes away. For example, when a child dies, no funeral rites are performed, and the child is buried in silence. This is because, in Chinese culture, it is considered disrespectful to show reverence to someone younger.

When a wife dies, the husband is expected to show his grief and respect through other means, such as wearing mourning clothes and refraining from participating in joyful events like weddings. The husband is also often responsible for organizing the funeral and burial, which can be a lavish and elaborate affair, especially if the wife was young when she passed away.

It is important to note that while a formal mourning period may not be required, there are still expectations and guidelines that the family of the deceased should follow. They may receive many gifts of flowers and money from guests, and they are expected to return these gifts with a small token of gratitude, such as a red envelope containing candy and a coin, or a white handkerchief.

The family may also choose to hold a wake, during which the body is prepared and dressed in its best clothing or a traditional white burial robe. The wake can last several days, and the family is expected to keep an overnight vigil during this time.

Overall, while there may not be a formal mourning period required when a child or wife passes away, there are still a number of important rituals and practices that the family should observe to show their respect and grief.

Mourners are expected to wear coloured cloth on their sleeves for 100 days

In Chinese culture, mourners are expected to wear a coloured cloth on their sleeves for 100 days. This is part of the mourning period, which can last up to 100 days. The cloth band is worn on the left sleeve if the deceased is a man, and on the right sleeve if the deceased is a woman. During the mourning period, mourners are expected to wear sombre clothing and avoid bright and colourful clothes.

The colour white is reserved for death in Chinese culture. At funerals, guests wear white and brown burlap clothing, and the deceased wears a white robe. However, if the deceased was 80 years or older, red or other colourful clothing may be worn to celebrate their longevity.

In addition to wearing the appropriate colours, there are other traditions and customs associated with Chinese funerals. For example, the funeral date is determined by consulting the Chinese Almanac, and invitations are typically white (or pink if the deceased was 80 or older). Flowers are also an important part of Chinese funeral traditions, with white or yellow chrysanthemums being the most common choice as white chrysanthemums symbolise grief.

Mourning practices also extend beyond the funeral itself. For example, during the mourning period, mourners are expected to avoid social activities and celebrations such as weddings, birthday parties, and festive visiting. This is considered a sign of respect for the deceased.

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