Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Names Order And Placement

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many traditions and considerations to take into account. The order of the names, for instance, can hold a deeper meaning, so it's important to get it right. In traditional wedding etiquette, the bride's name is usually listed first, followed by the groom's full name. This is because, traditionally, the bride's parents host and finance the wedding and invite the guests. However, this tradition is considered old-fashioned by some, and modern couples have more freedom to follow their own preferences. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, it's not uncommon to see the groom's name first. For same-sex couples, there are no set traditions, and they can choose to list names alphabetically or by how they are usually known as a couple.

Bride's name first

Brides Name First

Traditionally, the bride's name is listed first on wedding invitations. This is because, historically, the bride's parents hosted and financed the wedding. As such, the first line of the invitation would be:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's Father's Name] request the honour of your presence...

This would be followed by the bride's first and middle names and the groom's full name, including his last name. The bride's surname is inferred from her parents' names. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith cordially invite you to the marriage of their daughter, [Bride's first and middle names], to [Groom's full name]...

However, this tradition is considered by some to be old-fashioned and unnecessary. Nowadays, many couples host and finance their weddings themselves or with both sets of parents, so the invitation may instead begin with a line such as:

> Together with their families, [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] request the pleasure of your company...

Even in this modern variation, the bride's name typically comes first, perhaps as a hangover from previous traditions or because it is still considered polite to let the lady go first.

Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of "lady first" does not apply. The names can be listed alphabetically or simply in the order that sounds best.

Other Considerations

When deciding whose name goes first, it's essential to consider everyone's feelings and opinions, especially if both sets of parents are contributing financially. Discuss your ideas with your partner and families to avoid disagreements and ensure everyone feels valued and included.

Ultimately, there is no definite rule about whose name comes first, and you should choose the option that feels right for you and your wedding.

Groom's name first

While it is common for the bride's name to come first on wedding invitations, it is not a definite rule. If the wedding is hosted by the couple themselves and neither set of parents are mentioned, it is not unusual to see the groom's name first. This could indicate that he is the head of the family or the main financier of the wedding.

Some couples choose to go with what sounds the best, or because their initials sit better one way than the other, especially if they are using a monogram in the invitation design. For example, the initials S&M might be changed to M&S to avoid innuendos.

If the couple is hosting the wedding together with both sets of parents, a collaborative approach can be used, such as:

> Together with their families, [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] request the pleasure of your company...

In this modern variation, the bride's name usually comes first, perhaps due to tradition or out of courtesy to the bride.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure your invitation reflects your own style and relationship. It is your big day, so do it your way!

Alphabetical order for same-sex couples

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many traditions and expectations to navigate. However, when it comes to same-sex couples, there is no need to follow old-fashioned traditions, and instead, couples can choose a format that works for them. One way to do this is to use alphabetical order to structure the invitation.

Alphabetical order is a simple and effective way to arrange names on a wedding invitation. It provides a clear structure that is easy to read and understand. This approach is especially useful when a couple is unsure about whose name should go first and wants to avoid any potential arguments. Alphabetical order is also a good option when the couple is well-known by their names in a certain order, such as when introducing themselves as a couple or in other written correspondence.

When using alphabetical order, same-sex couples can choose to include their full names or just their first and last names, depending on their preference and the desired formality of the invitation. For example, "Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green" or "Charles Adams and John Green". Using the middle name is more typical of very formal invitations, so it is not necessary unless the couple wants to include it.

In addition to the names, same-sex couples should include other key details on their wedding invitations, such as the names of the people being invited, the hosts of the wedding, the wedding location, date, and time, and information about the reception or evening party. It is also important to remember to use full addresses and avoid abbreviations to ensure guests arrive at the correct location.

Overall, alphabetical order is a neutral and straightforward way for same-sex couples to arrange their names on wedding invitations. It allows couples to maintain a traditional structure while also adapting it to fit their unique circumstances.

Whose parents are hosting

If the parents of the bride are hosting the wedding, the invitation should begin with their names. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honour of your presence...

This should be followed by the bride's name, usually just her first and middle names, and then the groom's full name. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith cordially invite you to the marriage of their daughter, [Bride's first and middle names], to [Groom's full name]...

If both the bride's and groom's parents are hosting, both sets of names should be included. For example:

> Kenzie M. Smith and Jennifer L. Smith

> Mark Franklin and Mary Elizabeth Reyes

> request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael...

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, the host line can be omitted. The invitation might begin with a statement such as:

> Together with their families, [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] request the pleasure of your company...

Collaborative wording

"Together with their parents, [Couple's names] request the pleasure of your company..."

"Together with their families, [Couple's names] invite you to celebrate their love."

"Together with full hearts/With hearts full of love and joy, [Couple's names]..."

If you wish to include the names of the parents, you can do so in the following ways:

"Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's parents' names] and Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's parents' names] request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children, [Couple's names]."

"Together with their families, [Couple's names] along with [Bride's parents' names] and [Groom's parents' names] invite you to share in their joy."

If one or both of the parents are deceased, you can honour them by including their names alongside the couple's:

"[Bride's name], daughter of Mr. [Father's name] and the late [Mother's name], and [Groom's name], son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's parents' names], request the honour of your presence at their wedding."

When it comes to the order of names, traditional etiquette dictates that the bride's name precedes the groom's. However, this is not a hard and fast rule, especially for same-sex couples. Here are some things to consider when deciding on the name order:

• What sounds and looks best with the invitation design.
• What you and your family are comfortable with.
• What you are usually known as as a couple.
• Alphabetical order, especially for same-sex couples.

Frequently asked questions