Wedding Invite Etiquette: Names Listing Order

Wedding planning is stressful, and small details like the order of names on invites can be a source of confusion. Traditionally, the bride's name comes first, followed by the groom's full name. This is because the bride's parents are usually the hosts and financiers of the wedding. However, this tradition is not set in stone, and modern couples have more freedom to follow their preferences. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, it is not uncommon to see the groom's name listed first. Same-sex couples can also opt for alphabetical order or choose the order based on what sounds best. Ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure the invitation reflects the couple's style and relationship.

Bride's name first: tradition vs modern etiquette

Brides name first: tradition vs modern etiquette

There are many considerations when it comes to wedding invitations, and whose name goes first is a common question. There are no hard and fast rules, but there are traditions and modern alternatives to consider.

Tradition

Traditionally, the bride's name is listed first on a wedding invitation, followed by the groom's full name. This is because, historically, the bride's parents hosted and financed the wedding, and so the invitation is sent from them, inviting guests to attend. The bride's surname is omitted as it is inferred from her parents' names.

Modern Etiquette

Today, weddings are often financed by both sets of parents or even the couple themselves. This shift has led to a more collaborative approach to invitations, with wording such as: "Together with their families, [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] request the pleasure of your company..." Even with this modern variation, the bride's name usually comes first, perhaps as a hangover from tradition, or to let the lady go first.

Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, there are no traditions to be bound by, and so it is easier to make your own rules. Some options include listing names alphabetically, by age, or simply by what sounds the best.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure your invitation reflects your own style and relationship. It is your big day, so do it your way!

Groom's name first: modern alternatives

Grooms name first: modern alternatives

Traditionally, the bride's name is listed first on wedding invitations, even if the couple is hosting the wedding themselves. This is because, historically, the bride's parents hosted and financed the wedding. However, this tradition is not set in stone and modern alternatives are becoming more common.

If the wedding is hosted by the couple themselves and neither set of parents are mentioned on the invitation, it is not uncommon to see the groom's name listed first. This could indicate that he is the head of the family or the main financier of the wedding.

For same-sex couples, there are no traditions to be bound by, and you can make your own rules. Some options for listing names include alphabetical order, age, or simply by what sounds the best.

The key is not to overthink it. If something sounds right and looks good on the invitation, then go for it. It's your big day, do it your way.

If you're still unsure, consider discussing your ideas with your partner and families to avoid any disagreements or chances of miscommunication.

Same-sex couples: alphabetical order

For same-sex couples, there is no need to adhere to old-fashioned traditions and conventions. Instead, same-sex couples have two elegant options: arranging the names in alphabetical order or choosing the order based on which combination sounds the best.

Arranging names in alphabetical order provides a clear structure to the invitation and makes it easily readable. It is also a neutral way to write the invitation, avoiding any potential arguments about whose name should be listed first. This approach can be particularly useful if the couple has different surnames, helping to define the order as, for example, Jeff & John, as opposed to John & Jeff.

However, if the couple has a well-established dynamic where they are usually known and referred to in a certain order, it might be best to stick with that order on the invitation. For example, if a couple is commonly known as "Tina and Cathy" among friends and family, it might feel odd to switch the order just for the invites. Honouring the relationship and the couple's usual naming order can be a respectful and meaningful choice.

Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and there is room for flexibility and personal preference. The key is not to overthink it and choose the option that feels right and looks good on the invitation.

Same-sex couples: known couple name

When it comes to wedding invitations for same-sex couples, there is no need to stick to old-fashioned traditions and conventions. Instead, you have the freedom to choose the order of names based on your preference and what sounds the best. Here are some options to consider:

Alphabetical Order

Listing the names in alphabetical order provides a structured and neutral approach. It helps to define the order, such as Jeff & John instead of John & Jeff. This method ensures fairness and avoids any potential arguments about whose name should come first.

Known Couple Name

If you and your partner are known by a certain name order among your friends and family, it might feel most natural to use that order on your wedding invitations. For example, if you are "Tina and Cathy" to your loved ones, it might feel odd to switch the order just for the invites. Honour your relationship and how you are known to those closest to you.

Age

Another option is to list the names based on age, with the older partner's name coming first.

Personal Preference

Ultimately, the choice is yours, and you can decide based on what feels right for you and your partner. Consider the flow and rhythm of the names, and how they fit within the design of the invitation. Trust your instincts, and don't overthink it. The most important thing is to ensure your invitation reflects your style and relationship.

Collaborative wording: bride and groom hosting

There are a few ways to word a wedding invitation to make it clear that the event is hosted by the couple. Here are some examples:

• "Together with their parents, [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] request the pleasure of your company..."
• "Together with their families, [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] invite you to celebrate their love and union."
• "[Bride's name] and [Groom's name] invite you to celebrate with them on their wedding day."
• "The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of [Bride's name] and [Groom's name]..."

When the couple is hosting the wedding, it is also appropriate to use language like "Together with their families" to acknowledge the support of their families, even if they are not paying for the wedding in full. This phrase is often used when the couple is funding the majority of the wedding themselves.

If the couple is paying for the wedding, the invitational line can be skipped or replaced with a more formal phrase such as:

"[Bride's name] and [Groom's name] request the honour of your presence at their marriage..."

The key is to choose wording that feels right for you and your partner and reflects the tone and formality of your wedding. It's also a good idea to consider any family traditions and expectations to avoid offending anyone.

Frequently asked questions