Wedding Invitations: Where To Start And What To Include

Wedding invitations are a great way to give your guests a sneak peek of your special day. They can be a beautiful preview of the wedding to come and an opportunity to communicate essential details to your guests. The process of creating wedding invitations can be daunting, but with proper planning and attention to detail, you can design elegant and informative invitations that set the tone for your celebration. This guide will cover everything you need to know about wedding invitation etiquette, timing, and the information to include, ensuring your invitations are both stylish and functional.

Who to Include and How to Address Them

The traditional wedding invitation includes the names of the couple, the hosts of the event, the wedding date, time, venue name, location, dress code, and if a reception is to follow. However, modern wedding invitation wording has evolved to be more flexible and creative. Here are some guidelines on who to include and how to address them:

Hosts

• If the bride's parents are hosting, their names are usually at the top of the invitation, followed by the couple's names.
• If both sets of parents are hosting, list the bride's parents' names first, followed by the groom's parents' names.
• If the couple is hosting, you can omit the host line or use a general phrase such as "Together with their families."

Couple's Names

• For heterosexual couples, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom's name.
• For same-sex couples, the order of names is more flexible and can be alphabetical or based on preference.
• For unmarried couples living at the same address, include both names on one line, listing the person you are closest to first.

Guests

• For single guests, use "Ms." for women over 18, "Miss" for younger women, and "Mr." for men over 18.
• If a single guest has a plus-one, indicate "and Guest" on the inner envelope only.
• When inviting a family with children under 18, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and include each child's name on the inner envelope.
• For families with children over 18, each child should receive their own invitation unless they live at home with their parents.

Formality

• The level of formality in the invitation wording should match the style of the wedding.
• Formal invitations use full names, spell out dates and times, and include middle names.
• Informal invitations may use first names only and numerical dates.

Addressing Envelopes

• The outer envelope should be formal, including the recipient's full name and title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Mx., etc.).
• The inner envelope is more informal, allowing for flexibility in name format.
• For married couples with the same last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" (outer) / "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle" (inner).
• For married couples with different last names: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez" (outer) / "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David" (inner).
• For unmarried couples: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee" (outer) / "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda" (inner).

What to Include

Wedding invitations should include the following:

The Host Line

The host line is where you name the people hosting the wedding. Traditionally, this would be the bride's parents, but nowadays, it is common to list both sets of parents. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, the host line can be omitted or replaced with a welcoming introduction, such as "Together with full hearts".

The Request Line

This is where you invite your guests to attend your wedding. Examples include "request the pleasure of your company" and "invite you to celebrate with them".

The Names of the Couple

The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger text and perhaps a fancy typeface. For heterosexual couples, the woman's name typically goes first, but this can be ordered however feels right. LGBTQIA+ couples may choose to list their names alphabetically, by age, or however else they prefer.

The Date and Time of the Ceremony

The date and time of the ceremony should be included, with the time of day specified as "four o'clock" or "half after four o'clock", for example. On formal invitations, the time is usually written out in full rather than using numerals.

The Ceremony and Reception Location

The name and full address of the ceremony venue should be included, along with the state and zip code. If the reception is at the same location, a simple "Reception to follow" will suffice. If the reception is at a different location, its full address can be included on a separate reception card.

Dress Code

Including the dress code on the invitation is optional. If not included, guests will infer the dress code from the formality of the invitation.

RSVP Instructions

Whether digital or print, invitations should include clear RSVP instructions, such as a reply card with a stamped and addressed envelope, or a phone number, email, or URL for guests to respond to.

When to Send Them

The timing of your wedding invitations is crucial, and there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is customary to send out invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests ample time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements. It also means you can request RSVPs sooner, which is helpful for finalising numbers with caterers and creating a seating plan.

If you are having a destination wedding, or if half your family lives abroad, it is a good idea to send invitations at least three months in advance, and preferably 12 weeks. This gives overseas guests time to plan their trip and book accommodation.

It is also worth noting that you should send out your save-the-date cards four to six months before the wedding, or even earlier if you are having a destination wedding. This gives your guests a heads-up to mark their calendars and plan any necessary travel.

If you are skipping save-the-date cards, you should send your invitations around six months in advance for a standard-length engagement. If you have been engaged for a shorter time, send them out two to three months before the wedding.

For out-of-town or out-of-state guests, it is customary to send invitations around eight weeks before the wedding. For guests outside of the US, send invitations nine to ten weeks in advance, or even a year if your wedding has a long lead time.

RSVP Instructions

RSVP cards are a crucial part of your wedding stationery suite. They are a way for you to know who will be attending your wedding and for your guests to provide any additional information you may need to know. Here are some instructions to include when creating your RSVP cards:

• Blank line for names: Include a blank line for your guests to write their names. A formal way to indicate this is to write an "M" at the start of the line, prompting guests to include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss).
• Attendance line: Include a line for guests to accept or decline your invitation. This could be in the form of checkboxes, circling, or fill-in-the-blank lines.
• Food preferences and dietary restrictions: If you are serving dinner at your wedding, include a way for guests to indicate their meal preferences and any dietary restrictions or allergies.
• Special requests: You may also include a special request line on your RSVP cards. This could be for song requests, drink preferences to help stock the bar, or a favourite memory or relationship advice.
• RSVP deadline: Set an RSVP deadline of around two to four weeks before your wedding date and feature it prominently on the card. This will give you and your vendors enough time to finalise the details, such as the amount of food and drinks needed.
• Return envelope: Include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope with each RSVP card to make it easy for your guests to send their responses.

Online RSVPs

If you are using online RSVPs, include the wedding website URL and RSVP deadline on a separate card. Here is an example of the wording you can use:

"Please visit our website to respond by [date]

[Insert wedding website URL]"

What to Include in All RSVPs

Regardless of the format, there are a few key things to keep in mind for all RSVPs:

• Follow the couple's instructions: Ensure your RSVP is received and your seat at the wedding is secured by following any instructions provided by the couple.
• Full names: Include your full name(s) on the RSVP.
• Response: Clearly indicate whether you are attending or not.
• Number of guests: Include the total number of guests attending.
• Entree selection: If requested, place your initials next to each meal selection.
• Special prompts: Respond to any special prompts or questions from the couple.
• Return promptly: Send your RSVP back as soon as possible.

Design and Stationery

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are endless possibilities for customisation and personal touches. The design and stationery of your wedding invitations will be one of the first glimpses your guests will have of your special day, so it's important to choose a style that reflects the overall theme, colours, and tone of your wedding. Here are some tips and ideas to help you get started:

Choosing a Stationer

Start by finding a stationer or wedding invitation designer who can bring your vision to life. A stationer will provide the paper and other writing materials, while a wedding invitation designer will create a custom or semi-custom invitation set. You can opt for a fully customised invitation suite, including original design and print style, or choose a semi-custom design and add your own personal touches, such as colour, personalization, and printing style.

Design and Theme

The design of your wedding invitations should complement the style and theme of your wedding. Are you going for a formal or casual vibe? Modern or boho? Rustic or elegant? Whimsical or romantic? You can also incorporate your wedding colours into the design. Popular choices include classic styles with a modern twist, gold accents, and floral themes. For a unique touch, consider adding a personal message about your love story or including a special photo of the happy couple.

Wording and Etiquette

The wording of your wedding invitations should include essential details such as the couple's full names, the hosts of the event, the wedding date, time, venue name and address, and reception details. It's also a good idea to include dress code information, either on the invitation itself or on a separate details card.

Traditional wedding invitation wording is more formal and includes spelling out the date and time in full. Modern invitations, on the other hand, often use numerical figures and a more casual tone. Be sure to consider the formality of your wedding and the level of formality you want to convey in your invitations.

Optional Extras

In addition to the invitation itself, you may want to include response cards or RSVP postcards, details cards with additional information, and map or direction cards, especially if you're having a destination wedding. It's also a nice touch to have a calligrapher address your envelopes, adding a beautiful, personal touch that your guests can treasure.

Timing and Cost

It's recommended to order your wedding invitations 4-9 months in advance of your wedding date. This allows time for any delays and gives you the opportunity to add embellishments and calligraphy. The cost of wedding invitations can vary, with the average couple spending close to $600 on their wedding stationery. However, there are also more affordable options available, with some invitations costing just $1 or offering discounted rates for bulk purchases.

Remember, your wedding invitations are a chance to showcase your personality and give your guests a sneak peek of the wonderful celebration to come!

Frequently asked questions