Franklin Dean
Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding and where to seat them can be a tricky task. While some couples coo over kids at weddings, others worry about disruptions. If you do decide to invite children, there are several ways to include them in your wedding, from giving them a meaningful job to creating a separate kids' table. It's also important to consider their dietary preferences and entertainment needs. Ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide what works best for their wedding, and clear communication with guests is key.
Characteristics and Values for Where to Put Kids at a Wedding
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Seating arrangements | Kids can be seated with their parents, at a separate children's table, or in another room with childcare provided |
| Food options | Kid-friendly food options such as chicken fingers, mac 'n' cheese, or a make-your-own-sundae bar |
| Invitations | Be clear about whether children are invited on the invitation or RSVP; consider addressing only those who are invited and indicating the names of invited children |
| Age considerations | Consider the ages of the children when planning entertainment, seating, and food options; younger children may prefer to sit with their parents |
| Entertainment | Include children in wedding rituals, DIY activities, or provide a separate "quiet" room with blankets and movies |
| Childcare | Consider hiring event nannies or babysitters to supervise children and provide age-appropriate toys, games, and activities |
| Venue considerations | Ask the venue about childcare options, and whether there is a room for children to unwind or watch movies |
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Seating arrangements
If you're planning on having children at your wedding, there are a few things to consider when it comes to seating arrangements. Firstly, it's important to decide whether you want children integrated with adults or seated separately. If you choose to seat them with adults, a good option is to group families with similarly aged children together. This way, children can sit next to their friends while still being close to their parents.
However, if you prefer a separate seating arrangement for children, there are a few ways to approach this. One idea is to have a dedicated children's table supervised by an event nanny, who can ensure the kids are entertained and well-looked after without bothering their parents throughout the night. Alternatively, you could set up a separate room for younger children, with childcare provided, so that parents can enjoy the reception without worrying about their little ones. This room could be set up with blankets, movies, and age-appropriate toys and games.
Another factor to consider is the age of the children. Typically, children under eight years old will want to sit next to their parents. For older children, you could seat them at a separate table, or even give them a more meaningful role in the wedding, such as a speech or a reading.
When it comes to inviting children, it's essential to be clear on your invitations. You could indicate that only children with specific names on the invitation are invited or specify that it is an "adult-only celebration, with the exception of children specifically named on the invitation." Another option is to put a note on your invites, stating that while children are welcome, the venue is not catered towards them, and parents should inform you beforehand if they need to bring their kids.
Finally, don't forget to consider the children's food options and serving times. Having a child-friendly menu and serving their meals earlier will ensure that both the children and their parents can enjoy the reception.
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Invitations and RSVPs
If you've decided to have an adults-only wedding, be sure to state this clearly on your invitations. You could include an adults-only wedding announcement on your wedding website, and you can also include two layers of communication on the wedding invitation itself. For example, only put the couple's name on the outer envelope, and then if you have any inclusions in your invitation, such as a reception card, you can specifically note 'Adults-Only Reception' or 'Our wedding is adult-only, thank you'. Being clear and direct from the start will decrease the chance of families bringing their children and gives guests more time to find a babysitter.
If you are inviting children to your wedding, it is customary to invite the flower girl and ring bearer to the reception. If you are inviting the children of immediate family members, you may wish to extend the rule to all families in that category. You can address the inner and outer envelope of the wedding invitation with the specifics of who's invited. For example, if you're inviting the Smith family, you can address the outer envelope to 'Mr. and Mrs. John Smith' and the inner envelope to 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Peter, Paul, and Mary'. If you are inviting adult children (18 and older), they should get their own invitations.
If you are inviting entire families, you can address the invitation to 'The Smith Family' and reserve a number of seats for them on the RSVP card. This makes it clear how many people are invited and helps with your catering counts. It's a good idea to reserve a seat for each child, even if you think they might sit on their parent's lap, as it can be easier for parents to have that extra space.
It's a good idea to manage all invitations, RSVPs, and guest seating arrangements with a master list of your guests which includes their name, a plus-1 if you are allowing additional guests, the address of where the invitation was sent, and meal specifications. You can also use online tools to manage your guest list and seating arrangements.
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Food and drink
It is important to remember that children have different tastes and dietary requirements than adults, so it is highly recommended to have a child-centred food menu. Children will likely devour finger foods and tasty morsels on a stick. Here are some ideas for kid-friendly eats:
- Chicken fingers, chicken and waffles, or chicken nuggets
- Grilled cheese, brioche and brie, avocado and feta on multigrain, or pb&j sandwiches
- Mac 'n' cheese
- Sliders or hamburgers
- French fries
- Fruit cups, fruit skewers, or fruit kebabs
- Veggies like carrots and celery with hummus or ranch dip
- Cheese and crackers
- Pizza
- S'mores
- Lobster crostini
If you want to elevate the children's menu, use the same place settings as the adults, including fancy plates, flatware, and napkins. You could also serve the children a crudité plate of veggies when the adults are having salad, and then keep the main course kid-friendly.
It is also a good idea to ask your caterer to make fruits and veggies more photogenic by putting them into cute cups or crafting them into skewers. You could also have a make-your-own-sundae bar for kids.
In terms of drinks, it is customary for guests not to have to pay for anything at a wedding, including drinks. It is also important to consider that food allergies are common in children, so list the ingredients on all items served to them. Here are some ideas for kid-friendly drinks:
- Natural juice boxes and kid-friendly water bottles
- Shirley Temples
- Roy Rogers
- Sparkling grape juice
- Frozen mocktails
- Blueberry or raspberry lemonade
- Sparkling grape/apple or fancy lemonade with garnishes
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Entertainment
If you're inviting children to your wedding, it's a good idea to provide some entertainment to keep them occupied. While many kids will be happy to dance, run around, and enjoy the festivities, having some dedicated activities will make the day more enjoyable for everyone. Here are some entertainment ideas to consider:
Activities and Games
Provide a variety of activities and games suitable for different age groups. This can include colouring books, puzzles, activity sheets, and clipboards with wedding-themed pages for drawing and games like tic-tac-toe. You can also set up a kids' room or station with toys, crafts, dress-up outfits, and props. For outdoor weddings, consider giant outdoor games like Jenga, Connect 4, and Twister, or organise sack races.
Movies and Relaxation Areas
Set up a designated area for kids to relax and watch movies. You can project a children's film on a wall or provide tablets pre-loaded with kid-friendly movies. Alternatively, create a chill-out zone with calming night lights and soothing music for younger children to take a break from the festivities.
Bouncy Castles and Petting Zoos
If you have the space and budget, consider hiring a bouncy castle to keep the kids entertained. For a unique twist, you can also set up a petting zoo, with companies offering everything from unicorns to alpacas, providing a magical experience for your young guests.
Snacks and Food Activities
Kids can get hungry, so provide kid-friendly snacks like sandwiches, carrot sticks, and fruit slices. You can also make food part of the entertainment with interactive treats like s'mores or a build-your-own snack station. Customised placemats with colouring pages and games can also keep kids entertained while they wait for their food.
Toys and Activity Packs
Create activity packs for each child, including small gifts like toy cars, colouring books, playdough, and stickers. These can be tailored to complement your wedding theme and provide hours of fun. You can also rent boxes filled with themed books and toys aimed at younger children.
Remember, the key is to provide a variety of options to suit different ages and interests. By keeping the kids entertained, you'll also be giving their parents a chance to relax and enjoy your special day.
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Childcare
If you're inviting children to your wedding, there are a few things to consider to ensure they are well looked after and their parents can relax and enjoy the day.
Firstly, it's important to be clear on your invitations about whether children are invited or not. If you are having a no-kids wedding, it's best to make this clear on the invitation, for example, by addressing only those who are invited. If you are inviting children, you can include their names on the invitation. If you are inviting some children and not others, this can be a little more tricky, and it's worth considering speaking to people individually to explain the situation.
If you are inviting children, it's a good idea to provide some entertainment for them. This could be as simple as providing some colouring books and puzzles, or you could go all out and hire a bouncy castle! You could also involve the children in the wedding ceremony by giving them a meaningful job to do, such as handing out confetti or bubbles, doing a reading, or even giving a speech.
To ensure parents can relax, it's a good idea to provide childcare. You could hire an event nanny or babysitter to supervise the children in a separate room, or even ask the venue about childcare options, as some venues will provide nannies. If you have the space, you could set up a ''quiet' room with blankets and a movie for children to unwind.
It's also important to consider the food options for children. Children's meals are often less expensive, and it's a good idea to provide kid-friendly food options, such as chicken fingers, mac 'n' cheese, or pizza. You may also want to ask if the children can eat earlier, especially if you are having an evening reception.
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Frequently asked questions
It's totally up to you. Kids can add a lot of fun to a wedding, but they can also be unpredictable. If you do decide to invite kids, make sure you have enough food and entertainment options for them.
Traditionally, you would include the child's name on the invitation if they are invited. If you're only inviting certain kids, you can specify on the invitation that only children named on the invite are invited. You can also indicate an age group, such as "only kids 12 and up".
It's usually best to seat young children (under 7 or 8) with their parents. For older kids, you can seat them at a separate kids' table or group families with similarly aged children together.
It's a good idea to have a separate kid-friendly menu with options like chicken fingers, mac 'n' cheese, or grilled cheese. You may also want to ask your caterer for help creating a menu that kids will love. Don't forget to provide kid-friendly snacks!
There are lots of ways to keep kids entertained, such as hiring a bouncy castle, providing colouring books or puzzles, or setting up a nearby "quiet" room with blankets and a movie. You can also involve kids in the wedding ceremony by giving them meaningful jobs like readings or handing out confetti.
