Lyla Dejesus
Planning a wedding can be challenging, especially when it comes to deciding whether or not to invite children. While some couples opt for a child-free celebration, others may choose to include children in their special day. Regardless of the decision, it is essential to communicate the adult-only policy clearly and early to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Addressing invitations specifically to invited guests and providing additional information on wedding websites or RSVP cards are tactful ways to convey a no-kids request without causing offence. Ultimately, the wedding guest list is the couple's choice, and clear and thoughtful communication ensures everyone's comfort and enjoyment.
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What You'll Learn
Wedding website
A wedding website is a great place to share additional wedding information that you're not supposed to put on the invites, such as registries, transportation options, and dress codes. It is also a good place to mention that your wedding will be adults-only. This gives guests with children time to arrange childcare.
- "Due to space and safety constraints, we are unable to include children in our special day."
- "We truly wish we could invite all our guests’ children to our wedding. However, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate families."
- "Whilst we love little ones, we kindly request a child-free wedding."
- "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration."
- "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate the children in the wedding party at our reception."
- "Children are welcome to attend the ceremony, however, we respectfully advise that the reception will be for adults only."
You could also include a FAQ section on your website, with a question such as "Is this an adults-only event?" and your chosen wording as the answer.
If you are inviting certain children, such as those of immediate family members, it is a good idea to mention this on your website. You could say something like: "Due to guest number restrictions, we are only able to extend the invite to the children of close family/or our wedding party."
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RSVP cards
The acronym RSVP stands for "répondez, s'il vous plaît," which means "please reply" in French. When it comes to relaying the news that children won't be invited to your wedding, careful wording is key. While it can be tempting to relay the message by simply addressing your wedding invites to just the parents, this may cause confusion. It is best to make your adults-only policy clear from the outset.
- Address each invitation to exactly those invited, so guests with children don't assume their whole family is welcome.
- You could add a line to your RSVP card saying, "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception."
- On the response card, you could say, "___ adults would love to attend; ___ regrettably cannot attend."
- Specify the number of seats reserved for each guest on the RSVP card, leaving no room to add other guests.
- Include a separate line for each invited guest, with an "accepts" and "declines" checkbox next to each line.
- If you are especially close to a friend or family member's children but are unable to invite them, consider including a personal note along with the parents' invitation to reiterate that you're sorry they couldn't be included.
Remember, it is essential to communicate your no-kids decision clearly and early on to give parents enough time to make childcare arrangements.
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Personal notes
If you are close to a friend or family member with children who you are not inviting, it is a good idea to include a personal note with the parents' invitation explaining that you are sorry their children will not be included. This is especially true if you are planning a destination wedding, as it may be difficult for parents to travel without their children or to find childcare in another country.
If the children are older and you know them personally, it might be a nice idea to give them their own personal apology note with the invitations.
If you are inviting some children, but not all, you could include a line on your RSVP card such as: "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception." This makes it clear how many people are invited and who is invited.
If you are not inviting any children, you could include a note on your wedding website or invitation that says: "Due to space and safety constraints, we are unable to include children in our special day." If there is a pool on-site, for example, this could be hazardous for young children.
If you are not inviting any children, you could also include a note on your invitation or RSVP card that says: "Whilst we love little ones, we kindly request a child-free wedding."
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Phone calls
While it is ultimately your decision whether to invite children to your wedding, it can be a sensitive issue for some guests. It is important to communicate your wishes clearly and early on to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.
One way to politely inform your guests that children are not invited is to address each invitation to the specific guests who are invited, so that guests with children do not assume their whole family is welcome. You can also include a line on the RSVP card, such as "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception." This makes it clear how many people are invited and helps to avoid any misunderstandings.
If you are worried that some guests may not see the details on the invitation, you could also give them a call to explain that it is an adult-only event. This can be a nice personal touch and ensure that your message is received. When you call, be sure to mention any babysitting options in the area, as this will be helpful for guests with children.
- "Hi [Guest name], we are so excited for our wedding and we hope you will be able to join us! We just wanted to let you know that due to space and safety constraints, we are unable to accommodate children at the venue. We completely understand if this means you are unable to attend, but we wanted to give you a heads-up so that you can make the necessary arrangements."
- "We are looking forward to celebrating our special day with you! We are calling to let you know that our wedding will be an adult-only event, so please plan accordingly. We know it can be tricky to find childcare, so we wanted to give you a heads-up as soon as possible."
- "Hello [Guest name], we are so happy to invite you to our wedding and we hope you can make it! We wanted to mention that our wedding will be adults-only, so please make any necessary arrangements for your children. We understand that this may be an inconvenience, but we would love to have you there if you are able to join us."
Remember to be compassionate and understanding during these conversations, as some guests may be disappointed or frustrated by your decision. It is also a good idea to include a note on your wedding website or FAQ section about the adult-only policy and recommend babysitting options in the area. This way, guests who may not have seen the details on the invitation or who prefer not to call can still access this information easily.
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Venue limitations
If you want to have a child-free wedding, it's important to inform your guests about your decision as early as possible. This gives parents enough time to make childcare arrangements. While it's generally not recommended to explicitly state "no children" on the invitation, you can use subtle hints and venue limitations as an excuse to convey the message.
- "Unfortunately, due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."
- "Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children."
- "Our dream wedding venue doesn't accommodate small children, but we're hiring a top-notch babysitter for the hotel so professional babysitting will be provided."
- "We love your kids but thought you might like a night off. Adults only, please!"
- "Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."
- "Unfortunately, as much as we’d love to invite all of our friends’ children, due to space limitations, we can only accommodate a few close family children."
- "We truly wish we could invite all our guests’ children to our wedding. However, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate families."
- "Whilst we love little ones, we kindly request a child-free wedding due to venue limitations."
- "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration" as our venue has limited space.
- "We have a limited number of seats reserved for you at the reception."
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