Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Registry Placement

Wedding invitation wording can be a minefield, especially when it comes to navigating the dos and don'ts of wedding registry etiquette. While it's important to inform guests about your registry, it's also crucial to avoid coming across as presumptuous or gift-grabby. So, where exactly does the registry go?

Why registry information shouldn't be included on wedding invitations

Wedding invitation etiquette is a tricky thing to navigate. While it might be tempting to include your registry information on your wedding invitations, it is generally advised against. Here are some reasons why you shouldn't include registry information on your wedding invitations:

• It may come across as presumptuous or aggressive: Asking for gifts or providing registry details upfront can be interpreted as putting more emphasis on receiving gifts than on celebrating your special day with loved ones. It is essential to maintain a subtle approach and let guests decide whether they want to ask about your registry.
• It may seem like a gift is mandatory: Including registry information can give the impression that bringing a gift is a requirement for attending the wedding. This notion might make guests feel obligated or pressured to contribute a gift, which is not the intended sentiment behind a wedding invitation.
• It takes away from the excitement of the celebration: Wedding invitations are meant to build excitement and honour the guests' presence at your upcoming nuptials. By including registry details, the focus shifts from the joyous occasion to the gifting aspect, which can detract from the celebratory nature of the invitation.
• Word-of-mouth and wedding websites are effective alternatives: Instead of including registry information directly, you can rely on close family members, friends, and your wedding party to spread the word about your registry. Additionally, creating a wedding website and including its link in your invitation suite is a more subtle and modern approach to directing guests to your registry.
• Respecting traditional etiquette: While norms are evolving, adhering to traditional wedding invitation etiquette is still important to many. Including registry information was historically considered inappropriate, and some guests might perceive it as rude or tacky. Respecting these long-standing traditions can help avoid potential misunderstandings or negative perceptions.

While it is essential to inform your guests about your registry, doing so through methods other than the formal invitation is more tasteful and aligns with standard wedding etiquette.

How to share registry information without a wedding website

There are several ways to share registry information without a wedding website. Here are some suggestions:

Word of Mouth

Sharing your registry information through word of mouth is a traditional and effective method. Inform your immediate family, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, and let them know they can spread the word on your behalf. Guests will likely ask your family or bridal party about registry details, so they can easily share the information with those who inquire.

Bridal Shower Invitations

If you are having a bridal shower, it is acceptable to include registry information on the invitations. Bridal showers are primarily about gift-giving, so guests will appreciate having this information. You can also provide registry details to the host of the bridal shower, who can then share them with the guests.

Insert Cards in Wedding Invitations

Although it is generally not recommended to include registry information directly on your wedding invitations, you can include it on an insert card within the invitation suite. This card can provide your wedding website information, which guests can then visit to access your registry. It is common to include other inserts, such as RSVP and reception cards, so an additional card for registry details will not stand out.

Save-the-Dates

While it is not appropriate to include registry information directly on your save-the-dates, you can use this opportunity to direct guests to your wedding website. Include your website link on the save-the-date stationery, allowing guests to access all the necessary information, including your registry details.

Text or Email

You can also share your registry information directly with interested parties via text or email. Be sure to include a polite message, such as "Your presence at the wedding is more than enough, but if you wish to give a gift, here is the link to our registry." This approach ensures that those who are interested in giving a gift have the necessary information without posting it publicly on social media.

How to share registry information with a wedding website

Wedding invitation etiquette can be a confusing scenario to navigate. While it is considered rude to put your registry information on your wedding invitations, you can include an informational insert in the envelope with a link to your wedding website. Here are some tips on how to share your registry information with a wedding website:

• Create a wedding website: Set up a wedding website that includes all the details of your special day, such as day-of details, local accommodations, dress code information, your love story, and your registry. This is a subtle way to inform your guests about your registry without putting it directly on the invitation.
• Include a registry page: On your wedding website, create a separate page for your registry. Include links to the online stores so that guests can easily access them and choose their gifts. Use language such as "If you wish to give a gift to the bride and groom..." to ensure your guests know that gift-giving is optional.
• Add your website to your save-the-dates: Include your wedding website on your save-the-dates to spread the word about your website and registry. This is a great way to share your registry information before sending out your invitations.
• Spread the word: Tell your close family members and friends about your registry, and they can spread the word to other guests. This is a traditional way of sharing registry information, and it ensures that guests who want to buy you a gift will know where to find your registry.
• Avoid social media: Do not post your registry details on social media, as it may come across as greedy or expecting gifts from people who are not invited to the wedding.

By following these tips, you can effectively share your registry information with your wedding website while maintaining proper etiquette.

What to include on a wedding website

A wedding website is an invaluable tool for sharing information with your guests and keeping them excited for your big day. Here are the key details you should include:

The Basics

Start with the who, what, where, and when. Include your names, the wedding date and time, and the venue location. It's also a good idea to include detailed directions, especially if your venue is off the beaten track. Add in any relevant parking and transport information, such as organised buses or coaches for guests, and estimated travel times between locations if you have multiple venues.

The Schedule

Give your guests a rough itinerary of the day, so they know what to expect and can plan ahead. Outline key events and timings, including the ceremony, reception, after-party, and any other extra celebrations like a morning-after brunch.

The Dress Code

Let your guests know what to wear. Whether it's black-tie or casual, give a clear indication of the expected attire. Include any useful tips, such as recommending wedges over stilettos for an outdoor wedding or suggesting guests bring a jacket for an evening outside.

RSVP and Guest Information

Include an RSVP section with a deadline for responses. You can also use this section to ask about plus-ones and any dietary requirements or allergies. If you're not allowing children, state this clearly and consider recommending local babysitters.

Accommodation

If you've organised a hotel block, include the booking details and any relevant dates and deadlines. Also, provide a list of local accommodation options across a range of price points.

Your Story

Share your love story! Include a page dedicated to how you met, fell in love, and got engaged. You can also introduce members of your wedding party, so guests will have some familiar faces to chat to.

Gift Registry

Your wedding website is the appropriate place to share your gift registry or honeymoon fund details. You can easily embed a link directly to your registry, making it accessible for your guests.

Practical Information

Include any health and safety information, such as measures you're taking during the COVID-19 pandemic. Also, provide details about food and drinks, especially if guests should expect light canapes instead of a full meal. Let guests know about the alcohol situation—will it be a cash bar or an open bar?

Contact Information

Provide an email address or phone number for guests to get in touch with any questions. You can also include your social media handles and wedding hashtag if you want to encourage social media posts.

Remember, your wedding website should be a reflection of you as a couple. Include some personal touches, such as engagement photos or fun facts about each other, to make it unique and exciting!

How to share registry information via word of mouth

It is generally considered rude to include registry information on your wedding invitations. However, there are other ways to inform your guests about your registry, and one of them is through word of mouth. Here are some tips on how to share your registry information via word of mouth:

Inform your close family and friends

Share your registry information with your immediate family, bridesmaids, and groomsmen. They can then spread the word on your behalf. This is a traditional method that was commonly used before the advent of wedding websites.

Be prepared for inquiries

Even before your wedding website is up, guests may start inquiring about your registry. They may ask you directly or approach your parents, wedding party members, or other guests. It is a good idea to create your registry and wedding website as soon as possible so that you can share the information when asked.

Be subtle when sharing

When sharing your registry information, it is essential to be subtle and not come across as demanding gifts. You can say something like, "Our wedding website has all the details, including our registry information. Your presence at our wedding is what matters the most to us, but if you wish to give a gift, you can access the registry through the website."

Include registry information on bridal shower invitations

While it is not advisable to include registry information on wedding invitations, it is acceptable to do so on bridal shower invitations. Since bridal showers are primarily about gift-giving, guests will need to know what you would like to receive. You can include the information directly on the invitation or as a separate insert.

Be mindful of cultural differences

It is worth noting that wedding invitation etiquette can vary across different cultures. For example, in England and Scotland, it is common to include registry details with wedding invitations, and it is not considered impolite. Be mindful of such cultural differences, especially if you have a diverse guest list.

Frequently asked questions