Groomsmen And Wedding Invites: Who Gets An Invite?

When it comes to inviting groomsmen to your wedding, there are several ways to go about it. You could ask them in person, which would allow you to express how much you value their friendship and why you want them to be a part of your big day. Alternatively, you could send a thoughtful invitation, such as a handwritten note or a gift box with items related to your wedding theme. Another option is to organise a casual get-together or outing and pop the question in a fun and relaxed setting. It is also important to start planning early – grooms should aim to begin selecting and proposing to their wedding party about eight to ten months before the wedding.

Groomsmen Invitation Ideas

Asking your friends to be your groomsmen is a special moment, and you might want to do something memorable. Here are some creative ways to pop the question:

Gifts

• Send them a box of stuff, perhaps including a bow tie, travel-sized bottles of their favourite alcohol, mini playing cards, a lighter, chocolates, and other small gifts.
• A simple gift of a cigar, or a cigar case, is a classic way to ask your groomsmen. You could attach a letter to the envelope or secure the cigar to a piece of quality stationery.
• Gift them a custom illustration of the two of you, or other personalised gifts like engraved flasks, personalised cufflinks, or custom golf balls.
• For a fun twist, get them a bouquet of liquor—miniature bottles suspended on sticks inside a vase or pot.
• If you're looking for something more low-key, a simple invitation card will do the trick. You can make it personal by writing inside, or sending it with old photos and an e-card.

Experiences

• Ask them in person, perhaps over a drink or a round of golf.
• Invite them all to an event, like lunch or a weekend hangout. You could book a space that commemorates your friendship or represents a milestone in their lives.
• Take them to a sports event, a day at the races, or a gourmet dinner, and pop the question.

Asking in Person

Asking your groomsmen in person is a great way to make your wedding invitation meaningful and memorable. Here are some tips and ideas for asking your groomsmen in person:

Timing is Important

It is essential to give your groomsmen a heads-up by asking them well in advance, around 6 to 10 months before the wedding. This will allow them to budget, request time off from work, and make the necessary arrangements. However, don't rush into it, as life happens, and relationships can change over time.

Make it Personal and Memorable

If possible, meet up with your groomsmen-to-be in person. This is the most personal way to ask them to be a part of your special day. If meeting in person is not feasible, consider using video calling platforms like Skype or FaceTime to have a face-to-face conversation.

Share a Meaningful Moment

When asking your groomsmen, share a moment that meant a lot to you in your relationship with them. For example, remind them of the time they helped you in a difficult situation or supported you through a challenging time. This will show your appreciation for their presence in your life.

Express Your Gratitude

Thank your groomsmen for their support throughout your relationship. Let them know that their presence and support have made it easier for your relationship to grow and flourish. Express how much it would mean to you to have them by your side on your wedding day.

Consider a Small Gift

Although gifting is not necessary when asking your groomsmen, a small token of appreciation can be a nice touch. Consider something related to your wedding, like cufflinks, a pocket square, or a tie in your wedding colour palette. Alternatively, a personalised gift that aligns with their interests, such as a book or a bottle of their favourite wine, can also be a thoughtful choice.

Make it an Event

If you have multiple groomsmen, consider inviting them all to a get-together, such as a BBQ, a hiking trip, or even your engagement party. During the event, give a short speech about why these people are important to you and why you want them by your side on your wedding day. Then, ask them collectively to be your groomsmen, creating a sense of camaraderie among the group.

Sending a Thoughtful Invitation

When it comes to inviting groomsmen to be part of your big day, there are a few key things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to start planning early. Grooms should aim to begin selecting and proposing to their wedding party about eight to ten months before the wedding. This gives your groomsmen plenty of notice and time to plan their schedule.

One popular way to invite groomsmen is by asking them in person. This can be a special and personal moment, allowing you to express why their friendship is important to you and why you want them to be part of your wedding day. Consider setting up a time to meet with each potential groomsman individually.

However, if an in-person proposal isn't feasible, another option is to send a thoughtful, personalised invitation. This could be a handwritten note or a more elaborate gift box with items related to your wedding theme. You could even send a formal invitation, similar to the save-the-date cards and wedding invitations that you send to your guests. This approach ensures that your groomsmen have a tangible item to remember the experience by.

• A handwritten note: This is a simple yet meaningful way to express your thoughts and feelings. You can say everything you want to say to your future groomsmen, and it gives them something to keep as a memento.
• A gift box with items related to your wedding theme: For example, if you're having a beach wedding, you could include items like sunscreen, shades, and a drink to hydrate with.
• A formal invitation: Sending a formal invitation is a great way to make your groomsmen feel valued and appreciated. It also adds a touch of formality and elegance to your request.
• A starter kit or gift box: A starter kit or gift box is a fun way to hint at your invitation. It can include essentials such as cufflinks, a bow tie or printed tie, and a small bottle of their favourite drink.
• A personalised gift: You can give your groomsmen a personalised gift, such as engraved cufflinks, a pocket square or tie in your wedding colour palette, or a custom dress sock with a "Will you be my groomsman?" label.
• A subscription box: In recent years, subscription boxes have become very popular. You can select a subscription box that represents your groomsman or your relationship with them. Many services offer free or inexpensive introductory offers, so you can send a box or two without committing to a long-term subscription.
• A cigar: The cigar has long been associated with celebrations and the unique sense of brotherhood between good friends. You can secure the cigar to a piece of quality stationery or place it in an envelope with a letter inside, asking them to be your groomsman.
• A bouquet of liquor: Instead of flowers, you can get miniature bottles of their favourite liquor and spirits, suspend them on sticks inside a vase or pot, and add a note asking them to be your groomsmen.
• A simple card: If you're a man of few words or your prospective groomsman lives far away, a simple invitation card can be just as effective. You can make it as personal as you like, or keep it casual.

Remember, being a groomsman is a privilege and a commitment. When inviting your groomsmen, be sure to communicate your expectations clearly regarding attire, responsibilities, and financial obligations. Transparency will ensure that everyone is on the same page and can fully participate in your wedding celebrations.

Organising a Casual Get-Together

A casual get-together is a great opportunity to connect with friends and family and create lasting memories. Here are some tips to help you organise a fun and stress-free gathering:

Guest List and Invitations:

• Consider the size of your space when deciding on the number of guests. A good rule of thumb is to allow about five square feet of personal space for each guest.
• Make a guest list, keeping in mind that not everyone invited will be able to attend. You can assume that around 20% of invitees might decline.

Food and Drinks:

• Plan a simple yet tasty menu that will please the crowd. Stick to crowd-pleasers and dishes you are familiar with to simplify the day of the gathering.
• Prepare as much food as possible the day before to reduce stress on the day of the event.
• Consider the dietary restrictions of your guests, such as vegan options for vegan guests.
• Serve snacks and drinks in areas where you want guests to congregate, such as a buffet station in the living room or a table on the patio, to avoid a crowded kitchen.
• Provide a variety of options, including finger foods, cheese crisps, and easy-to-eat snacks.

Atmosphere and Entertainment:

• Create a welcoming atmosphere by facilitating introductions and matching up guests with similar interests.
• Encourage mingling by placing snacks in different locations and providing seating for about 80% of guests to promote movement.
• Set the mood with music and lighting. Use apps like DJ 51 or Grooveshark's Djtxt to involve your guests in contributing to the party playlist.
• If children are attending, create a separate activity area with colouring books or puzzles to keep them entertained.

Planning and Preparation:

• Stock your pantry with standard snacks, quick dinner ingredients, and simple sweets for impromptu gatherings.
• Calculate the amount of food and drinks needed, slightly overestimating to avoid running out.
• For a well-stocked bar, aim for 50% beer, 25% wine, and 25% liquor. Include basic drinks like vodka, rum, whiskey, gin, and tequila.
• A quick 15-minute cleanup session before the event can help set your mind at ease, and clever hiding tricks can give the impression of a tidy space.

Communicating Expectations

Communicating your expectations is an important part of inviting groomsmen to your wedding. Here are some tips to help you effectively convey what you need from your groomsmen:

Be Clear and Transparent:

Explain your expectations clearly and transparently to your groomsmen. Let them know what their responsibilities are, such as renting suits or tuxedos, attending wedding events, giving a speech, and getting along with the wedding party. Be straightforward about any financial obligations they may have. It's important that everyone understands their role and commitments to ensure a smooth process leading up to your wedding day.

Start Planning Early:

Give yourself enough time to select and propose to your groomsmen. It is recommended to start this process about 8-10 months before the wedding. This will allow you to carefully consider your choices and ensure that your groomsmen have enough time to plan and prepare for their roles.

Personalize the Invitation:

When inviting your groomsmen, consider personalizing the invitation to show that you value their friendship and want them to be a part of your special day. You can do this through a handwritten note, a gift box with items related to your wedding theme, or even organizing a casual get-together to pop the question. Adding a personal touch will make the invitation more meaningful and memorable.

Be Understanding:

Remember that not everyone you invite may be able to accept due to personal or financial reasons. It's important to be understanding and grateful for their friendship and support, even if they can't be part of your wedding party. Express your appreciation for their presence in your life, and if they are unable to fulfil the duties of a groomsman, consider other ways they can be involved in your wedding.

Maintain Open Communication:

Once your groomsmen have accepted your invitation, stay connected and keep them informed about any updates or changes related to the wedding. Open and clear communication will help alleviate potential stress or confusion as your wedding day approaches. It also demonstrates your appreciation for their time, effort, and friendship.

Provide Regular Updates:

Keep your groomsmen informed about any changes or updates to your wedding plans. Regular communication will ensure that they feel included and valued as part of your wedding party. It also helps them stay prepared and ready to fulfil their responsibilities effectively.

Show Your Appreciation:

Don't forget to express your gratitude towards your groomsmen throughout the wedding planning process and on your wedding day. Let them know how much you value their support and friendship. This can be done through words of appreciation, small gifts, or even a heartfelt speech at the wedding.

Frequently asked questions