Rsvp Etiquette: Wedding Invitation Response Card Placement

Wedding invitations are an exciting part of the wedding planning process, and the response to these invitations is a crucial aspect of the event's success. The acronym RSVP stands for répondez, s'il vous plaît, which is French for please respond. This article will explore the importance of RSVPs, the different ways to respond, and the etiquette that guests should follow when replying to a wedding invitation.

What does RSVP stand for?

The acronym RSVP stands for "répondez s'il vous plaît", which is French for "please reply". It is used at the end of a written invitation to request that the invitee indicates whether or not they will be attending the event. The host can then use this information for planning purposes, such as finalising catering counts and creating a seating chart.

RSVPs are typically included as a separate card within the invitation, which the invitee fills out and sends back to the host. In recent years, digital RSVPs have also become common, with couples asking guests to respond through an online platform or a section of their wedding website.

When responding to an RSVP, it is important to provide certain key information. This includes the names of those attending, the number of guests, and any dietary restrictions or allergies. It is also considered good etiquette to include a short personal note to the host, such as well wishes or excitement about the event.

The RSVP deadline is usually set for around four weeks before the event date to allow the host enough time to finalise the details. It is important to respond to an RSVP by the specified deadline and to provide all the requested information. This helps the host plan the event effectively and ensures that your attendance can be accommodated.

How to fill out an RSVP card

RSVP cards are often included with wedding invitations, and it's important to fill them out and send them back promptly. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to fill out an RSVP card:

• Check the envelope: Before responding, check the envelope to see who was officially invited. If there is a "+1" on the card, you are invited to bring a guest. If the card is addressed to "The Thompson Family," your immediate family is invited. If only your name and your spouse's name are listed, it's best not to assume that your children are also invited.
• Write the full names of attending guests: Look for an "M" on the card, which indicates where you should write your title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss) and full name. If you have been given a "+1," write their full name as well. This information will be used for place cards and escort cards, so it's important to provide accurate and complete information.
• Indicate the number of guests attending: Write the number of guests who will be attending in the accept or decline box. This helps the host plan for the right amount of food and seating. If only one person was invited, you can use a checkmark or an X.
• Indicate your food choices: If there are food options listed on the RSVP card, select your preference and initial your choice. This is especially important if you have any dietary restrictions or allergies.
• Write a congratulatory note: If the card is blank, take the opportunity to write a short note congratulating the couple and indicating who plans to attend. It's a nice touch to add a few kind words or a throwback song request.
• Send the RSVP card back promptly: Even if you are unable to attend, it's important to send the RSVP card back before the deadline. This helps the host with their planning and may impact their guest list.
• Write legibly: Use clear and easy-to-read handwriting. Consider printing your responses instead of using cursive to ensure your writing is legible.
• Don't respond by phone or email: If a card was sent to you, it's considered rude to respond by phone or email. Respect the host's chosen method of communication and use the provided card.

By following these steps, you'll be able to fill out an RSVP card thoughtfully and help the host with their planning.

How to RSVP online

When it comes to RSVPing online, there are a few different options. You can use a wedding website, a general event management platform, or a simple form embedded in a website.

Using a Wedding Website

If you're planning a wedding, it's likely you already have a wedding website. Many couples use their wedding website for RSVPs, and there are several platforms that offer this service, including The Knot. With The Knot, you can create a personalized wedding website with an RSVP function. You can customize your RSVP form with questions about meal preferences, song requests, and more. The Knot also allows you to make your RSVPs public or private. If it's public, anyone with the link can RSVP, and their names will be added to the guest list. If it's private, guests will need to enter their names to find their invitation.

Using an Event Management Platform

There are several event management platforms that allow you to create events and collect RSVPs, such as Evant.app, RSVPify, and SurveyMonkey. These platforms often offer additional features like guest list management, custom data collection, and event privacy. For example, RSVPify allows you to create a bespoke event website and experience, and ensures that your data and your guests' data remain private and ad-free.

Embedding a Form in a Website

If you already have a website, you can embed an RSVP form directly into it. Google Forms is one option for this, and it automatically populates responses into a spreadsheet for you. You can also use a platform like SurveyMonkey to create a customizable RSVP form and then embed it on your website.

Tips for RSVPing Online

Regardless of the method you use to RSVP online, there are a few best practices to keep in mind:

• Always include a clear deadline for RSVPs.
• Send confirmations of RSVPs to your guests.
• Collect contact information, even if you already have it, as it may have changed.
• If you're inviting guests by mail, include an email address or website URL for online RSVPs.

How to RSVP by email

When it comes to RSVPing to a wedding invitation, there are a few different ways to do so. Some invitations will include a pre-printed response card, others will have a blank card for a more personalised message, and some won't include a response card at all. In the latter case, you should respond in the manner specified in the invitation. This might be via email, text, phone call, or through a wedding website.

If you're RSVPing by email, it's important to follow a few key steps. Firstly, respond as soon as possible. It's polite to let the hosts know either way, so they can plan accordingly. Secondly, use a clear subject line, such as "Accepting your invitation for [event name]" or "I'm declining your invitation to [event name]". This will make it easier for the hosts to keep track of the guest list. Finally, include any additional information requested, such as dietary requirements or song requests.

> Thank you for inviting me to [event]! I will be attending and have marked the date on my calendar.

>

> I really look forward to [personalise]. See you on [date].

And here is a template for declining:

> Thank you for your invitation to [event] on [date]. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the event.

>

> I appreciate your invitation and hope to have the opportunity to attend next time.

How to decline a wedding invitation

When it comes to RSVPs, the first thing to include on the card is a blank line for guests to write their names. On a formal RSVP card, the line should begin with an "M" to indicate that guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss). This guarantees that the couple knows who is attending and how to correctly spell everyone's names on the seating chart.

Now, how do you decline a wedding invitation?

Firstly, it's important to remember that as an invited guest, you are someone special to the couple. They invited you to be present for the most important day of their lives. That's why showing compassion while declining is important. Here are some rules to follow when declining a wedding invitation:

• If you aren't close to the couple, a simple check in the "no" box on the RSVP card, along with a short note wishing them well, is sufficient.
• If you are close to the couple, things get a little more complicated. It is recommended to call the couple ahead of your written decline to express your disappointment and let them know you care. You can also celebrate their union in other ways, such as taking them out for a meal after the wedding festivities.
• Send a gift with your RSVP card. This is another way to extend your support and love.
• Don't wait too long to decline the invitation. You don't want to seem like you aren't being thoughtful.
• It is appropriate to send a wedding gift even if you are declining the invitation. This shows your support for the couple and gratitude for being invited.
• Get involved in other parts of the wedding if you can't make it to the main event. Ask if you can contribute to the pre-wedding festivities, such as the bachelorette party or bridal shower.
• "While I'd love to be with you on your special day, I'm sadly unable to attend. I will be there in spirit and can't wait to see photos!"
• "Regretfully, we are unable to attend. Best wishes on your special day!"
• "Sadly, we are unable to attend your wedding day, but look forward to celebrating the next time we see you!"
• "Thank you for the invitation. Unfortunately, I have other commitments for that time."
• "I would love to attend, but I have prior commitments on that date."

Frequently asked questions