Wedding Invite Etiquette: Asking For Cash Gifts

It is considered rude to ask for money on a wedding invitation. However, it is not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift. There are several ways to ask for money as a wedding gift without being impolite. One way is to create a cash fund wedding registry. This allows couples to pool money from guests and apply it towards their goals, such as buying a home or going on a honeymoon. Another option is to include an insert card with the wedding invitation that directs guests to the wedding website, where they can find information about the couple's preference for cash gifts. It is also a good idea to inform close friends and family members about the preference for cash gifts so that they can spread the word.

Include a small section on your wedding details card

While it is considered acceptable to ask for monetary gifts for your wedding, it is not appropriate to do so on your wedding invitations. Instead, a small section on your wedding details card is a great place to include this information. Here are some ideas for what to include in this section:

"Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert cash fund/honeymoon/house deposit/renovation]."

"Please do not feel obliged to buy us a gift; all that we are expecting is you. If you would like to give something, a contribution towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated."

"The most important thing to us is that you're able to come and celebrate our wedding. However, if you wish to give a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."

"The best gift is having you share in our special day. Should you wish to contribute in some other way, we would love a few pennies to put in our pot for our honeymoon trip after tying the knot."

"If you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift of cash towards our honeymoon would really make our day. However, if you would prefer to give a gift, please feel free to surprise us in your own special way."

It is also a good idea to include a link to your wedding website or registry on your details card, where guests can find more information about your preferences for monetary gifts. You can also use your website to explain why you've registered for cash and how you plan to use the funds, which can help your guests feel more connected to your plans.

Create a cash fund wedding registry

A cash fund wedding registry is a great way to ask for money as a wedding gift without being rude or impolite. Here are some tips to create a tasteful and effective cash fund wedding registry:

• Choose a reputable cash registry website: There are several cash registry websites available, such as Honeyfund and Zola. These websites allow guests to make monetary gifts that can be used for long-term projects, savings, or booking your honeymoon.
• Set up a cash gift fund: You can set up a cash gift fund to cover larger expenses or even collect donations for your favourite charities. Guests can contribute any amount they are comfortable with, making it a great option for group gifts.
• Use a secure payment method: Ensure that the cash registry website you choose offers secure payment methods such as PayPal, which is widely used and trusted. This will give your guests peace of mind when sending their gifts.
• Provide a personal touch: Explain to your guests why you have registered for cash and how you plan to use the funds. For example, you could mention that you are saving for a down payment on a home or funding your honeymoon. This will make guests feel more connected to your goals and more inclined to contribute.
• Combine with a traditional registry: While you may prefer cash gifts, it is a good idea to create a traditional registry as well. Some guests may prefer to give physical gifts, and having a mix of options ensures that everyone can give a gift that makes them comfortable.
• Spread the word: Let your close family members and friends know about your preference for cash gifts and why. They can then spread the word to other guests who may be unsure about what to give.
• Set up a card box at the reception: Even with a digital cash registry, some guests may still prefer to bring a card with a cheque or cash to the wedding reception. Set up a designated box for these cards to keep track of all monetary donations and make writing thank-you notes easier.

Ask your family members and close friends to spread the word

It's essential to be tactful and considerate when asking for money as a wedding gift. Here are some tips to help you ask your family members and close friends to spread the word:

Firstly, be selective about whom you approach. It's best to limit these conversations to your parents, siblings, wedding party members, and very close friends. Choose individuals you trust to be discreet and tactful in their communication with others.

When speaking to them, be transparent about your preference for cash gifts and explain the reason behind it. For example, you could say something like, "We're hoping to buy our first home together, so we'd be incredibly grateful for any monetary contributions toward our house fund." This way, they understand your intentions and can share them with other guests in an informed manner.

Provide them with specific details about your plans for the money. Are you saving for a honeymoon, a renovation, or a new business venture? Sharing these details adds a personal touch and helps your family and friends feel more connected to your goals. They can then convey this information to curious guests.

Encourage your inner circle to be proactive in sharing this information. They can casually mention it in conversations with other guests or offer this insight when guests directly inquire about gift ideas. It's helpful to give them a few simple and polite phrases they can use, such as, "The couple is saving for their dream honeymoon, so they would greatly appreciate any contributions toward that goal."

Additionally, you can ask your family members and close friends to emphasise that cash gifts are not mandatory. It's important that guests feel no pressure or obligation to contribute financially. A gentle reminder from your inner circle can help reinforce this message. For example, they could say, "The couple truly values your presence at the wedding, and any gifts are entirely optional. However, if you wish to give something, they are saving for their first home."

By providing your family and friends with clear and thoughtful messaging, you can empower them to spread the word effectively and respectfully.

Be specific about how you'll use the cash

It is important to be transparent about how you plan to use the money gifted by your guests. This makes your request more personal and helps your guests feel more connected to you and your plans. Here are some ways to do this:

Share Your Plans on Your Wedding Website

You can add a section for your "registry" on your wedding website and explain why you have chosen to register for cash. For example, you could say: "We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter and a house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we kindly request a monetary contribution." This is a polite way to express your preference for cash gifts and explain that you already have many of the physical items usually gifted at weddings.

Specify a Project or Goal

If you are in the middle of a big project, such as renovating your home, moving across the country, or saving for a house deposit, let your guests know. You can add a more personal touch by sharing the story of how the project started, how far along you are, and any challenges you've faced. This not only makes your guests feel more involved in your lives but also serves as a plea for help that they will be more inclined to answer.

Use a Honeymoon or Cash Registry Website

Some websites, like Honeyfund and Zola, allow guests to make monetary contributions toward specific goals, such as a honeymoon or savings for a new home. These sites give guests a sense of autonomy over their wedding gift while still providing the couple with purchasing power and the freedom to spend the money as they see fit.

Provide Examples in Your Wording

When addressing your preference for cash gifts on your wedding website or details card, you can be more specific by providing examples of what the money will be used for. For instance, you could say: "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution toward our dream honeymoon/house deposit/renovation." This gives guests a clearer idea of what they are contributing toward and makes the request more personal.

Remember, it is generally advised not to ask for cash directly on your wedding invitations. Instead, use the strategies outlined above to tactfully communicate your preference for monetary gifts.

Provide a link to your wedding website

Asking for cash on a wedding invitation is a big no-no. Instead, you can provide a link to your wedding website on your invite, where you can explain your preference for monetary gifts. Here are some ideas for how to do this:

Explain why you're asking for cash

It's a good idea to explain why you're asking for money instead of physical gifts. For example, you might want to save for a house deposit, fund your honeymoon, or pay for a renovation. Adding a personal touch, such as explaining how you'll use the money, will help your guests feel more connected to you and your plans.

Here's an example:

> "We are so grateful to have everything we need for our home. We are saving for a down payment on our dream house, so if you are thinking of giving us a gift, a contribution towards this would be very much appreciated."

Be playful

If you and your partner are known for your humour, use it to your advantage! Here's a fun poem you could include:

> "When we leave for our adventurous honeymoon,

> There are ways to help us fly,

> Please take part in our wedding journey,

> The limit is the sky!

>

> We are getting married,

> Next, we’ll embark on our honeymoon,

> The costs nearly had us buried,

> With the wedding all so soon."

Keep it short and simple

If that's more your style, a concise message will do the trick:

> "We have all that we need to start our life together. If you wish to provide a gift, we have set up a wedding website with details of our honeymoon contributions fund. Thank you!"

Use a cash registry website

Websites like Honeyfund, Hitchd, and Zola allow you to create a cash registry for your honeymoon or other financial goals. You can then include a link to your registry on your wedding website. This gives guests a secure way to contribute and helps you keep track of your cash gifts.

Spread the word through family and friends

Another option is to ask your close family and wedding party to spread the word. That way, if any guests ask them what you'd like as a gift, they can let them know you're saving for something special.

Remember, it's important to be gracious and sincere when asking for cash. Your wedding website is a great tool to explain your wishes and ensure your guests feel valued.

Frequently asked questions